the past few weeks have been going by really fast. the days actually. I've been so busy and preoccupied with work that the hours in the work day seem to fly by! i'm not complaining at all! it's great! it's such a big difference from before christmas.

i have a big opening of an exhibit i've been working on opening up march 7th at the bata shoe museum in toronto. i can't wait. it'll be the first ever real exhibit that i've worked on solely on my own! i've been managing pretty much the whole project and designing it with marc. it's been great. i hope it all turns out.

jeremy and i are planning on going to the opening and spending the weekend before in toronto. it'll be nice. i'm looking forward to march. it'll be fun.

i'm actually looking forward to labour for some reason. i kinda see it as a day that i get to spend with my husband ALL day... or how ever long the labour lasts :) and all I have to do is bare the pain and he'll take care of me :) call me silly but i'm looking forward to that.

today i'm having a little trouble breathing. it's hard to breathe.. i guess it's cause my belly is pushing on my lungs or something. i also think i'm getting a cold. my throat has been sore, nose has been runny and i've been sneezing more than normal. i hope i'm not sick or don't get sick. i hate being sick.. especially when there's so much to do at work still.

they still haven't found my replacement. my boss asked me to look over some of the resumes and they're just awful! these people who are applying for my job can't design! maybe i'm too critical.. but there was not ONE person who stood out. they were all just 'OK'. I wonder if I was ever that bad...who knows.

jeremy is in toronto today. he left yesterday and I got the bed all to myself last night. it was nice :) tho i did miss him when i woke up this morning. Next week he's gone for 3 days again too for toronto... so i'll get the bed to myself and not have to worry about mak'n dinner :) i can just eat whatever i feel like. :)

i'm scratching like a maniac! my tummy is all itchy and i need new pants! the maternity pants i bought before xmas are too small now!!! what's up with that? it's only going to get worse!!! dang!

last night was our 3rd prenatal class. it was fun! watched another birthing video with a husband narrating it. it was hilarious. we went over labour stages/phases again and went over 'fears'. we also went through different positions that we could be in during labour and contractions. they were QUITE comfortable! especially with jeremy giving me a massage... niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

at the end of the evening we did a ice cube excercise where we (even the guys) had to hold a chunk of ice in our hands. the first excercise she was talking in an excited voice and talking about the ice cube and how cold it was and made us focus on the pain of the ice cube. it was unbearable. the second time around we thought about what we wanted to do to cope wih the pain and she said you can do whatever you want so I stood up rocked back and forth and closed my eyes and focused on something else. it was much much more bearable. the third excercise she told us to sit down, she turned down the lights and put on some relaxing music and told us to close our eyes and visualize as she talked. she said to think about the baby, seeing him/her coming out, what colour hair he/she would have and counting/looking at their 10 toes and 10 fingers. I started to cry and forgot all about the fact that i had an ice cube in my hand that was hurting and melting away.

this excercise made me feel more confident in myself. I find that each class as i learn more about things I learn more about myself and how I can do it and will do it. I think everything will be ok.

we also went through different things that we could do to help rotate the baby if it was breeched. but so far I think jimmy is upside down still. i keep on feeling kicks on my upper tummy as opposed to my lower... and the last two visits to the midwife they've said that jimmy was head down. i thinkn at our next appointment on the 15th that that will be a good determination as to whether jimmy will be breeched since I'll be 32weeks. tho, he could stil move after that.

this class we went through the different stages of labour and we saw a birthing video at the end. it was of a couple giving natural birth on a birthing stool with a midwife/doula. she was skinny!!! but had a biiiiig belly. the video was soooooooooo empowering. it made me feel good about everything and that i could do anything. when the baby came out i was teary eyed. so emotional! :) the interview of the midwife/doula was very empowering. it was the words she used and just how she was very positive and expressive. what a great video!

i feel as though this has been a great journey so far. at the beginning i was so fearful of everything. of the pain, epidurals and hospitals etc. now i feel stronger. that I KNOW it will hurt, and i know it'll be tough but I have faith in myself that i can do it. It's true what they say, people fear what they don't know. I think the more i've learned in the past 7 months, have made me know comfortable with how things are proceeding. i'm not scared anymore. obviously there's still a little bit thought about whether i can handle the pain but i keep thinking of the epdidural and It's not a question anymore.

i think right now my biggest fear is a C-section. That's the last thing i want. It scares me so much but again, I have to think positive and if it does happen, i will deal with it. just put my ipod on and listen to music so I don't have to listen to anything else.. like them cutting me open! UGH!!!!!! and blood squirting out! :) grosss....

we had our midwife apt yesterday afternoon. we met our secondary midwife Chantal. She's soooooo incredibly nice too! and so easy to talk to. it was a nice visit. we talked about my ideal labour and how i saw it going... and we talked about whether it was ok to go to the coldplay concert on march 17 :) .. jeremy and I bought tickets and are planning to go. i can't wait! she also got me to do a glucose/protein pee test. protein came out negative and glucose came out +2! so she gave me a bunch more test strips and i'm suppose to do it in the morning. I forgot this morning :) whoops! all in all a good visit with the midwife.

we've also graduated to twice a week with the midwife now too... but she won't be there on the 2nd week so we'll see her again in 3 weeks. we also made an appointment to check out the Monfort Hospital. so our tour is scheduled for march 15th at 1:15. fun fun!  

i really want to go home and just sleep. maybe i can get on the couch and just take a nap. this sucks!! my boss is rith in front of me and he can see my face.. so if i doze off he'll see me. dang dang dang.

maybe it's cause of what i'm doing. i'm so bored right now. basically all i'm doing right now is preparing an excel sheet with final text for when i do the graphics for this exhibit. all the text will be in the excel sheet and organized. i'm so bored. so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! need a naaaaaap.