oops! i just made a long journal entry and my session timed out i guess... so when i went to post the entry, it asked me to log in again and i lost everything! i don't want to have to retype stuff.. so i'll just write the gist of it.
-saw a bunny in the backyard, good sign :)
-jayden and jeremy are both sick. i had to take care of both of them today.
-felt a little nauseous, slight headache and peeing a lot today.
-feel super bloated and my belly is definitely getting bigger. i hope it's cause i'm pregnant and i'm growing as opposed to getting FAT!
-i find that when i get hungry (which is pretty often now) and i don't eat i get a little nauseous. i think subconsciously sometimes i want to starve myself to see whether i get nauseous so i can see whether i'm still pregnant or not. it's probably not good... and not a good indication since i'm on the progesterone pills... which kinda fakes the symptoms for me so i really don't know.
-my boobs also hurt a little when i press on them in a certain area.. or if jayden pushes on them when he's lying on me.
i wish i knew whether i'm still pregnant or not. i just have a fear of missing a miscarriage! .. my baby dying and not knowing that it has and one day have bleeding.. ugh!
i'm 7 weeks and 3 days.. i think? i'm really counting the milestones. the next one is 8 weeks, then 12! i can't wait till i'm past 12 weeks! then i can breathe a little more. i want to hear the heartbeat so bad! just so i can be a little reassured.
one day at a time!!
2008-05-19 (6 weeks)
may 24 weekend so we headed to ottawa at 6:30am saturday morning. we thought jayden would go back to sleep in the car but he didn't. jeremy drove for about an hour and then jayden was getting a little fussy so we switched and jeremy went to the back and read to him and entertained him. he then fell asleep at around 10ish. we got into ottawa at around 11. the drive was pretty nice.
jayden got sick probably friday night so he was getting considerably worse as the weekend went on. he had a pretty high fever. the weekend was basically spent driving, napping and trying to comfort jayden cause he was feeling miserable... oh ya, and eating out :)
we drove back sunday evening after dinner. jayden was a little fussy again, so this time i went to entertain him at the back and he finally fell asleep an hour and a half into the ride.
today was pretty miserable. he was pretty whiny all day. i was on jayden duty all day cause jeremy had to work. not fun!
with the weekend events i didn't have a chance to worry about whether i was or wasn't pregnant. i'm still scared. i feel like things are going well but i'm so scared that the fetus may die on me without me knowing... like the first miscarriage. it was a missed miscarriage.. the fetus stopped developing at 7 weeks and i wasn't aware until i started spotting/cramping and so i had an ultrasound... at 10 weeks. only to find out there was nothing there. blighted ovum.
today i woe up pretty tired. we had breakfast, and played downstairs for a bit and i got tired again. i really don't know whether if i'm tired because of the progesterone pills or whether i'm tired cause i'm pregnant!
it was then jayden's nap and i put him down and i went for a nap too! that was nice!! i was tired! we napped from about 12:45-4:00 :)
i woke up from my nap pretty hungry.. so i had a snack. we do'nt have much in the house for food cause we haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping and everywhere is closed today!
as far as symptoms go, i've been feeling nauseous, headachey, and tired. i've also been waking up at around 5ish or 6ish and having to go pee. my boobs are still somewhat tender.. but not sore or hurt or anything major.
i'm feeling some pulling.. but nothing major.. oh. i almost forgot. on sunday morning i woke up, had to go pee and when i went back to bed, i lied down on my right side and felt a sharp, cramp, it was painful and scared me! i then flipped over to my left side and it went away. so scared! i also laid there for a bit and then went to he washroom and felt a little better.
tonight i'm having an empty stomache feeling. i made myself a peanut butter bagel and am eating it now. i'm feeling better now.
on the weekend i found out my best fried is pregnant too! she's due december 27!!!!!! that's a week before i am. that's sooooooooooo exciting! i truly hope this pregnancy sticks. it would be so amazing to be pregnant and be on maternity leave the same time as her! they're going to have a beautiful baby!!
tomorrow i'm 7 weeks!
2008-05-16 (6 weeks)
progesterone so i started taking the progesterone pills. took one last night at dinner and one this morning with breakfast. i've been super tired. haven't felt much in my boobs. still the same tenderness but very slight. i still have headaches and an empty feeling in my stomache. no i don't know whether these symptoms are because i'm taking progesterone or if i'm actually having pregnancy symptoms. ugh!
my belly has been starting to protrude a lot. i can't fit into my jeans anymore with out putting the waist band under my belly... and even then it's a little tight. i've started to wear my more looser fitting clothes.
i really hope this is the one. when i think that there could be a little baby growing inside me i smile from ear to ear.. but then fear kicks in and i start to worry again.
2008-05-15 (6 weeks)
met our OB we had our meeting with our OB today. he's super nice. he's 73 years old and has been the head of obstetrics at our hospital. he's looking to retire and has but came back to work because he got bored :)
he's very funny, but in a serious way. he waits till you laughs and doesn't laugh at his own jokes. he's pretty non sensical and to the fact.
he prescribed some medication for me that'll thicken up my uterus lining and thin my blood. he got me to do a blood test for a bunch of things but said that he didn't want to test for hcg levels because he didn't want me to be stressed out about numbers. (makes sense). he also did want me to have an ultrasound because he said you can't really see much at this point because it was too early.
he's given me some hope. we were upfront with him in that we wanted to have a midwife if all goes well. and he basically said, well, before you have a midwife or anything, you need to make sure this pregnancy is viable... and i agreed.
i haven't had any symptoms today really. after meeting with the OB, we got the medication and then i came home and was super tired.. i took a nap. i napped from 1-5. i should do some work now to catch up!
he also told me to take it easy, and not to lift much. i'm scheduled to see him in 3 weeks! a week before our 10 week apt. with amanda (our midwife). i just have to cross my fingers for another 6 weeks until we hit the 12 weeks mark!... even then things aren't for sure but at least we'll be over one hump!
hope things go well!!
