Breastfeeding has been a hot topic of discussion since I first found out I was pregnant. Everyone and their brother and sister has thier own opinoin on the subject. Most people base their opinon upon what their parents did, because everyone thinks that their parents are just the most wonderful people on earth. And that's great for them. Others base it on their personal experiences with having their own babies and that's good for them too because they figured out what worked best FOR THEM. I have done a lot of reading and research and I have thought out how I want for things to be when the baby arrives and this has helped me make my choice on the matter. I want to preface this with the fact that Nick and I have discussed this and while he believes breastfeeding is the best choice he is leaving the choice to me because it is my body that will be doing it and my responsibility, which I greatly appreciate. With all things considerred I have chosen not to breastfeed and here is my explaination of my choice in a list of basically pros and cons to breastfeeding.

Why Women Choose To Breastfeed:

It's a brain booster- Well research has shown the the fatty acids called DHA that are in breast milk boost a babies iq slightly. Luckily there is a formula that includes these DHA fatty acids and so that will not have to be sacrificed if I bottlefeed.

It keeps allergies on hold- I can see that it would keep the baby from having an allergy to something in formula, but what about the baby having allergies to the foods the mom eats while breastfeeding. That is only mentioned later in the books about breastfeeding, not in the pros and cons section. So obviously that is a bias remark. Because babies can have allergies to many things. You can't shelter them.

It prevents infections- I looked at the statistics on this because this seemed very important to me, but as I did I reallized that I was probably looking at statistics of daycare babies vs. babies that are with stay-at-home-moms. Simply because you obliously can't put your baby in daycare all day if it's eating off of your body. That changes things completely.  This brings in a whole different scientific factor in these studies that was not considerred of mentioned. If I were to go to a daycare today I would get sick, furthermore if a breastfed baby went to a daycare it would get sick. You just don't know what these babies were exposed to or not exposed to. The only way to be able to scientifiacally prove that it prevents infections is to have multiple babies being raised in the exact same environment and some be bottlefed and some be breastfed. If then the breastfed babies were healthier I would consider this fact. But scientist can not ethically do this kind of an experiement.

It helps the mom lose weight- Well I know it burns calories but what they failed to mention is that you are suppose to be eating extra for your baby to get the nutricion it needs. The only way to lose weight is to use more calories than you take in. Which would be unhealthy for your baby. So that is somewhat of a myth.

Convenience- This is really a matter of opinion in what different mothers consider to be an inconvenience. For mom's who choose to breastfeed it seemed inconvenient to have to mix formula, warm bottles, and wash bottles. For me thoough it seems inconvenient to be the ONLY person that can feed to baby, and to have to find a place to breastfeed while in public because I'm not going to do that out in front of everyone. Also it seems convenient to be able to leave the infant with my husband while I go to the grocery store or to the mall and that wouldn't be a possiblilty if I'm breastfeeding because the baby has to eat almost every hour and a half.

Economy- I know it is free to breastfeed, but what about when I want to go back to work in August. The extra income that I will bring in will outweigh the costs of formula and bottles hugely. Obviously I can't breastfeed if I'm at work.

Period postponement- Honestly I don't want to postpone my period. I want to get my hormones back to normal as quickly as possible. I have not had a great time adjusting to the pregnancy hormones (just ask my husband that has had to endure through this with me). I was a much more stable person prepregnancy. So the sooner that my body quits producing these massive amounts of hormones after pregnancy the better. If I breastfeed I will continue to have the hormones in my body which is what prevents the period from happening. And it's not a form of birth control as some women once believed. Women can get pregnant while breastfeeding.

"The biggest and best bonus" (in the books) closeness with your baby- I honestly think the baby will be close to me either way.  And when the baby gets in to toddler years it won't matter how close you felt then. Some toddlers are super independent and will not be cuddled by their moms at all, even toddlers that breastfed.

My reasons why I'm choosing to bottle feed:

More shared responsibility- it seems very hard to imagine being the only one that can feed the baby. Meaning the first night home form the hospital when I'm recoverring and the baby is waking up every hour to eat (because that's how often breastfed babies eat as newborns) I would be the only one that could deal with it. But if I bottle feed, my husband can help, my mother or mother-in-law can help. It's not that I want to pawn off my baby on others and be a neglectful horrible mother at all. So don't interpret it that way. I love this child so much already that I would do anything for it. And I know I will have many sleepless nights. I just feel that the child will have more stability and I will have the strength to be a better mother if I can get help from others when I need it.

More freedom- This pregnancy was quite a shock to me and my husband when we first found out. We are of coarse very happy now, but we reallize what a life change it will be. We will be losing so much of our freedoms already I don't see a reason to make it worse. At least if I do not breastfeed Nick and I can get our parents to watch the baby for a night so we can go out to dinner, or for the day so we can go tubing in the mountains this summer as we had planned. Those things would not be possible if I breastfed. I think this will make us love and appreciate our baby more, and not be resentful towards it.

More romance- I think it would be very hard to be romantic with leaky painful breasts. It's going to be hard enough to find time for romance so I don't want to add anymore factors that would work against us. The closer Nick and I feel together the better parents we will be for our baby.

Fewer dietary constrants- I want to diet after I have the baby to lose weight and that's not an option if I breastfeed because it would be bad for the baby. Also I enjoy eating spicy foods and I don't really have the healthiest diet in the world because I don't like vegetables. I just don't want the nutrition for my baby to depend on what I eat, because sometimes I may not eat that healthy.

Less embarrassment- I wouldn't consider myself overly modest. I mean I wear a two piece bathingsuit and tank tops, but I'm honestly not comfortable being around other men and breastfeeding. Like my dad, brother, or father and brother in law, or general public. I would always be having to go sit in the bathroom in public places just to feed my baby, which sounds gross anyway.

To know how much the baby eats- I would be so scared that I wouldn't be feeding my baby enough. I have had a lady close to my family try to breastfeed and find out that she was starving her baby a few weeks later at the doctor. And she was devistated. She just wasn't making enough milk. I want to know how much exactly the baby eats. And bottles have measurements on them so I can know. That will just comfort me so much.

Less Stress- This is what most of the above boils down to. Is less stress. I read in an article on post partum depression that it is much more likely in women who breast feed. I think that's probably because of the amount of stress it can cause for the mother. I want to be as stress free as possible so I can be a good mother to my child. It can't be good for the baby if the mom is crying all the time and can't take care of it. This is my decision becaus I want to be a good mother not because I'm a bad mother.

I do appreciate all of the opinoins and advice from friends and family, but I really appreciate those that tell me "Stacey it's your decision and you will know what's right for you". And I do know what's right for me, and I have my reasons why. I hope I have not offended or upset anyone. I am 100% supportive of women who choose to breastfeed and I admire you greatly for your patience and sacrifice for your baby. I am in no way saying bottlefeeding is best, It's just going to work best for me for my first baby.

Wow how the time has flown. Here are some things that are happening now (in my 4th month) and that have recently happened. I went to the doctor the Monday before Thanksgiving. By the way I forgot to announce and everyone seems to want to know this... my doctor's name is Dr. Shine and I'm going to Fort Sanders Regional. Dr. Shine is a very nice lady, but I haven't met the other doctors in that practice just incase she's not on call the night I go in to labor. (Honestly I would like to be induced, so hopefully we can make sure she'll be there). Anyway... Nick went with me to the doctor. They did some lab work to make sure that the baby doesn't have any disabilities. Not that it would change anything other than giving us a heads up to know what to expect. They gave me a flu shot. And they checked the baby's heartrate, it was beating at 150 bpm. I also made my next (very important) appointment for December 17. That's when I will hopefully find out if it's a BOY OR A GIRL. I can not wait. And it's coming up fast. Speaking of fast, I feel like I'm driving in the "fast lane" all the time right now. My student teaching experience at Karns is coming to an end. Next week our students will have their Winter Concert (Thursday), my final project is due next week also (Tuesday), then I just have one more week until graduation. The Monday following graduation is my doctor's appointment to find out the sex of the baby. So LOTS OF EXCITING THINGS!  Just so everyone can keep up. Here are the important dates in a logical fashion.

December 6          Karns Middle winter concert

December 8-9       Alabama for the Sasser Christmas

December 14        My graduation from Carson-Newman!!!!

December 17        We'll find out the baby's sex!

Then Christmas! This month is looking like tons of fun to me!

I had been planning on right after I graduate this December to get a job teaching here in Knox County. I turned in my application and all the appropriate paperwork and recomendations to Knox County Human Resources. I just found out this past week that the only position available is a choral position at Farragut Middle. That is a great school, and I would love to teach there, but not pregnant. First of all I think it would be a lot more stressful than and Elementary ed position (elementary would mean I wouldn't necessarily have to put on a concert with the kids until the next year), and the real kicker is that Farragut has already scheduled their spring concert and it's for May 16th, which is about a week past my due date. I don't think that will be good timing honestly. So I have decided not to give my resume to Farragut and to hold off on teaching until August. I am going to get a full time job somewhere, just not teaching. I thought about substitute teaching and I may do that, but they only get paid $64 a day and I probably wouldn't be asked to work everyday of the week like I want to. So I need to get out the classifieds and start searching for a temporary job that I could leave in May. I always want to be honest with my employers, I don't think it's right to hide being pregnant and then surprise them with a huge belly a few months later and tell them I'm quitting in a few more months. That's just not right. So I will be up front with all of the people I interview with and tell them that "I'm pregnant and that the job will need to be temporary, and that I may choose to take a maternity leave and come back, or I may quit when the baby is born." I'm not really sure yet what I'll do. But I want to make it clear to everyone that for at least a little while in May I'm gone. So I hope I find the right place to work for a few months. I can't sit still and stay at home, that's just not me. That will be hard enough to do with a baby to occupy me. I can't do "nothing" all day because I'm too much of a busy body. I can hardly ride in the car or watch tv without having something else that I'm working on.

Hey everyone, Sorry it's been so long since my last entry. I have been busy busy with my student teaching here at Karns Middle. I love it though, these kids are great and usually do anything I ask them to. So I'm very lucky because not all middle schoolers are like that. This is a great community though. Anyway enough about me, more about the baby and the pregnancy.

Now that I am getting further in to my 2nd trimester the morning sickness has went away completely (thank goodness), and I'm not as tired, I feel more motivated to do the things I use to do, such as cooking, cleaning house, and working on creative lesson plans for my students. Also I have stopped having to go to the bathroom as much. Which seems weird because the baby's gettig bigger, but that's what's happened and I'm glad. I know that will change drastically in the 3rd trimester.

I have felt the baby move a lot more now. I wrote about the first time I felt it, and I wasn't quite sure then, but now I am sure. It's the coolest feeling. It feels like a little jump or spasm or even bubbles inside my tummy. I have to be very still to feel it though.

My doctor's appointment is next Monday for the 16 weeks check up. I can't believe that I'm almost 4 months along. I'm still not hardly showing at all. My tummy feels very hard and full, but it's not to the point that I have to wear maternity yet. I do have to unbutton my pants after I eat. Nick always laughs at me when I do. He has been so sweet, always rubbing my belly and giving it kisses.  Although I will say I'm not always that sweet in return, those hormones just take over sometimes, and I swear I could argue over almost anything. And that's so not like me because between me and Nick I'm usually the laid back one. Not so recently , but I'm trying to keep a handle on it. I just know when I get in a bad mood it's probably a good time to take a walk or a warm bath. And that really helps. Cause bless Nick's heart, if I stick around when I'm feeling "hormonal" (that's what I call it, haha) it's just not fun to say the least, I'm either crying or nagging. Luckily I'm starting to notice when I feel "hormonal" before I open my mouth or get too bent out of shape about something silly like a towell being left on the floor. I'm sure every pregnant woman can identify with me a little bit.

But over all I am feeling great! I'm exercising and eating a lot of good and healthy stuff. So things are going great right now. They call this time the pregnancy honeymoon, and I'm beginning to see why.