I have started a 16 weeks entry about 4 times now...for some reason I keep getting interupted mid thought, get frustrated, and just delete the entire entry.  Ok, well unfortunately my computer uploader cable device is broken and I can't upload new pictures until I get a new one. I am working on that this weekend so stay tuned....because week 16 belly is the most exciting belly pic thus far.  I have my third doctors visit tomorrow and this time I'm taking my mother-in-law and nephew.  This is the last visit before the ultrasound visit which will hopefully be at the end of May since I'll be in New Jersey at the time would have had my next visit. I hope they don't make me wait until I come back from the trip.  So is it a boy or is it a girl? It doesn't really matter and I sincerely mean that. I would be excited for different reasons with each so I am mostly hoping for healthy chubby developmentally appropriate baby.  I have a new symptom too...I have lower back pain which is pretty awesome.  I am supposedly producing a lot of relaxin and developing some lordosis (sway back) and my posture is sucking as a result of inceased wait in the front.  Huh huh, my junks in the front :)  Anyway as a result I have some serious low back and sacrum hurty's.  But I will take it over nausea anyday.  I have a feeling that the pregnancy is going to start going by more quickly now that I am enjoying it more.  The first trimester was an ETERNITY.

Ok, I'll give a quick update after my appointment tomorrow and hopefully get some pictures up this weekend. P.S  please feel free to suggest your favorite baby girl names (because I have the boy name picked out and No, Im not telling) in the comments because I can't find any that I like. The only one that even comes close is Tits McGee Summers so you can see that I am pretty far off from a winner.

I had this really frightening thought today...I thought, how embarrassed and humiliated would I be if it turned out that I am NOT really pregnant and just developing abdominal obesity.  Here I am wearing maternity pants and tops flaunting this belly when really I am just getting chubby around the waist. How would I EVER live that down.  I mean I am not lying about it, but what if this was just a joke or conspiracy....the ultimate conspiracy.  And all of the "baby movement" is really just farts because people with abdominal obesity have more flatulence ( I dont know if that's true but it sounds like it might be). 

When my sister in law was pregnant she told me that for some reason it made her feel terribly vulnerable and insecure.  She started thinking her husband was looking at other women and that he might leave her for someone else.  I thought she was just paranoid and delusional but I myself have been experiencing similar feelings lately.  As many of you know my husband is working LONG hours and has been for the past couple of months getting the new gallery in order.  Well subconciously I must be feeling like his lack of presence in our home must mean that he is out at the strip club or with his other family because I've been having dreams lately that he has this new girlfriend and that he is just waiting for the right time to tell me.  In my dream last night I caught him in a parking lot at some mall with a Milla Jovavich look alike (probably because I know he thinks she is super hot).  I waddle up to both of them and start throwing clothes at them.  I was a raging pyscho path screaming and crying.  I woke up mad at him this morning and all day required emails that he has never and will never leave me...even for Milla Jovavich.  So it must have something to do with all of this excess estrogen that is making me a jealous dreamer. 

Ok,  week 15, I am going to say that I have definitely had a miniature belly pop this week.  It's almost undeniable.  I am going to wait to post another belly pic though until week 16 (for dramatic effect). 

So I bought some maternity pants at Baby Gap yesterday.  I felt kind of stupid trying these pants on next to a 7 month very obviously pregnant woman but it was time to get a stretchy waist band.  My pants still "fit" but they are so snug I can hardly breath and everything I read says that I should need some stretch pants very soon because the belly is likely to grow exponetially in the next month.  great :{  I think the last timeI wrote I slandered myself and mentioned that my NVP had eased up (NVP: Nausea and vomiting of pregnancy and is the new official technical name for morning sickness).  Well it didn't and I have probably thrown up more in the past two weeks than I have the entire pregnancy.   I have felt decent for the past three days and although i won't get my hopes up this time I will continue doing nice things for other people only in hopes that I will receive some antivomitous antinausea karmatic reward for my kindness.  I have become painfully aware of my selfishness since this whole ordeal began.  For example, last night I went to a wedding reception and everyone I talked to was all baby talk.  "Are you excited about becoming a mommy?" "How is the morning sickness?"  "Hey Rachel wanna a beer, tee hee oh ya you can't have one"  I wondered why people weren't just talking to me like they normally would.  I am still Rachel damnit.  It really doesn't bother me that much but when you feel like another person has literally invaded and taken over you body you become very protective of it.  At one point I wanted to yell "Hey guys, it's just me Rachel, this is my body and I am the same person you have always loved and adored and secretly wished you could be"  Well maybe not so much with the last part.  Has anyone seen the movie "The Waitress"  I think I am going to go find a link....(10 minutes later) ok so now i am totally depressed.  I Youtube searched for the trailer to the movie and couldn't help but notice all of the RIP Adrienne Shelly/in loving memory of Adrienne Shelly stuff that kept popping up.  It turns out Adrienne Shelly wrote, directed, and acted in this movie (which is phenomenal by the way and you should all watch it) well while they were shooting the film she was murded by a 19 year old guy from Ecudor who was robbing her apartment..she caught him so he strangled her with a bedsheet to make it look like a suicide, I guess he confessed a few days later.  What a world. 

anywho :)  I think I can feel this little baby wiggling from time to time.  it's pretty freaking amazing.