AHHHH! 11 weeks to go... Did I time travel or is this reality?!
It's really coming up now... and how do I feel? Excited, terrified, anxious, impatient and nervous all at once, and all those emotions lead to this kind of numbness where I don't really feel anything until WHAM, I feel excited followed by a rush of nervousness followed by a hint of anxiety mixed with impatience and fear, this sudden rush of feelings usually ends with me crying or not being able to sleep, then it's back to the numb shock and the cycle starts over again.
Nothing new has really happened, but next weekend promises to be a lot of fun with a big shopping trip planned as well as setting up the cot! The cot we decided on is a lovely white one, Sean's Gran paid for it, she is such a generous woman, she also included an extra hundred dollars for us to get a mattress or anything else we want, plus she insists we let her know if we want a change table. She's gone a little baby mad, I think. She really is such a wonderful woman and she has such a big heart, her only down fall is her equally as big mouth. Once she starts talking she will not stop!
This week, while unpacking and sorting through all mine and Sean's belongings I put away all of Benji's clothes as well (and also realised that Sean and my brother were right - I did go overboard). It was special... I don't know why or how to explain it but it was kind of emotional putting away all his little booties and jumpers and grow suits. I just can't wait to put those little clothes on him, to pick out a new outfit everyday and watch as he quickly grows out of all the cute little things I bought. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
Imagine what I'll be like when he has his first day of school... Jeeeeeez...
I feel a little guilty though, I should have had Sean helping me put away his clothes, but I didn't realise that setting up for the baby would actually be an emotional and special thing to do, so from now on I won't be excluding him from any of the little things that really do mean so much even though they seem like boring house chores.
My friend Miranda just had her baby a few days ago, a little boy, her labour didn't go as she had planned but in the end the baby and herself are healthy and happy and that's what is the most important thing. It did get me thinking more about my own upcoming labour. I don't really feel as scared as I did a few weeks ago - don't get me wrong, I am scared - but I know that everything will be ok, that I am in safe hands and that Sean will be there with me all the way. I will be doing self hypnosis mostly for relaxation and to help me deal with pain, but in the end all I want is a safe arrival for my little man, the thought of the pain doesn't frighten me so much anymore.
All I can think about is how much I want to hold him.
2008-05-26 (27 weeks)
27 Weeks
Every time I see my sister she's shocked at how much bigger I am then I was the week or two before, and it's true, now even the few maternity clothes I purchased early on are getting a little snug... besides my belly getting bigger all I can say is look out Pamela Anderson...
I had my gestational diabetes test done this week, I am so sick of people jabbing me with needles and taking my blood! I'm not worried about diabetes since I'm not showing any symptoms and feel quite healthy, I also found out that the baby seems to be the wrong way around at the moment, not that Sean or I are concerned at the moment, we have a scan at 34 weeks anyway and its likely that he will turn himself around.
We've been busy with moving stuff into the house and trying to figure out how we're going to all fit in here, I can't believe how much space a tiny little baby takes up.
Lately I've been feeling pretty good, although exhausted, moody and generally a little sensitive. In other words I've been a bit of a whinger prone to breaking into tears over commercials and burnt toast... I can see the point in crying over spilt milk at the moment!
He's been moving around a lot lately, especially between 2am and 6am, its bizarre how clearly you can see it, I suppose it comes from being so thin and the position of the placenta and blah, blah, blah... it's very uncomfortable when he sticks a foot, hand, elbow, knee right out, although he usually moves when I start rubbing my belly. Sean still can't hear the heart beat, but anytime now I guess.
Honestly: I am so over being pregnant, and the thought of getting that much bigger over the next 12ish weeks seems like such a pain! And more back pain, sore feet, fatigue and nausea is not something I'm looking forward to...
And I said I wanted 3 kids...
My sister also entered us in some competition and won, so now we get a free photo shoot and a couple of free photos from some place that specializes in pregnancy and new born pictures, we'll be getting them done at about 34 weeks. I really should have more photos taken, but that would mean having to get out of my boyfriends trackies and putting an effort into how I look... maybe next week...
2008-05-12 (25 weeks)
From the start to now... week 1 - 25
A little bit of catching up to bring everything up to date...
We found out a couple of weeks before Christmas, Sean was at his dads house for the weekend when I took the test, it was difficult to have to tell him over the phone and be alone that night. He came over the next day and we talked... a lot. The next week was spent debating what we were going to do, I told him I wanted to keep it and that he could have as little or as much to do with it as he wanted, I meant it, but at the same time I knew he wouldn't leave me, and although he was terrified at the thought of becoming a dad at such a young age he loved me and he sure wasn't about to abandon his baby, and so the next problem we had to face was telling our families... my family took it well, I think my mother has wanted to be a grandmother since the day she had her first baby! My father was also quite excited, as were my brothers and sisters, with the exception of my older sister, although her perspective has changed a lot since then and she can't stop buying baby clothes and rubbing my belly every time she sees me!
Seans family were a bit more difficult, considering his age and the fact he was about to start year 12 everyone was pretty scared. His mothers initial reaction was to laugh, and the next day she was shocked, we had an argument which was sorted by that afternoon. I think she's still mixed up about the way she feels, really. His brother and sister were excited, happy and crying and his father has been nothing but supportive. While we've had our up and downs with his side of the family everyone is excited and can't wait for our little man to make his big debut.
Christmas and New Years came and went by in a bit of a blur, lucky for me (and Sean!) I didn't suffer from morning sickness very badly and was only a little bit moody, we had our first ultrasound at 16 weeks, by which stage I could kind of feel slight fluttering in my tummy, the ultrasound was exciting, we were both on the verge of tears and our little boy was wriggling about like crazy, it was so reassuring to know everything seemed healthy. He even gave us a little wave!
We booked in to the William Angliss Hospital, and began seeing our wonderful doctor who has been really great. The partnership maternity care program has been really good so far, we also got booked into the young parents ante natal classes, we don't begin them until June.
At the 21 week ultrasound we found out his sex, we were both over joyed to know it was a boy. A few days later I got a phone call from my doctor telling me the placenta was low, but 19 out of 20 times this corrects itself, if it doesn't I'll be needing a c-section.
By this stage both Sean and I could feel him moving, and being a small girl I was also showing quite a lot already. After this we started buying baby clothes, and now have quite a supply all ready for his arrival! We had a baby shower at 23 weeks, which seems a little early but we wanted to avoid the cold weather, and also wanted the last few months of the pregnancy to be smooth and relaxed. It was fun, and we caught up with a lot of our old friends who were kind enough to give us some adorable gifts as well!
The past couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful, I've been having heart palpatations but the doctor says I'm healthy as is our little boy, which is always good to know.
I'm hating the back pain and the lack of comfy clothes, and it's very hard for me to deal with having to take it easy. I'm an action person - I like to be active, involved and doing things, but of course my energy isn't what it used to be and I find it difficult to keep up which results in pushing myself a little too hard at times... luckily Sean keeps me in check and does his best to make sure I'm keeping healthy and happy while he is at school and work... besides all of the bad things, I love being so connected with the baby, and we both love to sit and feel him moving about, plus I'm also loving the clear skin pregnancy has given me! We both want the pregnancy to be over already so we can finally hold our baby, but at the same time it's simply going too fast!
