so far not so good ive only told two pple my suscpicions *sp* and both werent the joyous ebullitions *sp* i was expecting..my long time friend who has two kids herself was soooo disappointed that I hadnt taken the time to work out the kinks in my relationship first without adding another baby to it and there is some truth to that , i have a question to all my fellow prospective parents ...especially those who already have a child ...how much harder is it ???Is there ever a good time and why do i feel so scared because im afriad ill fcuk this up..i have managed with xelu we are doing well and she is fine and well adjusted i think and for some reason i really think i can handle her and a baby ..i know that things are hard but im up for the challenge...is that the wrong way to look at it ...i havent told anyone else yet soo everything my friend said hit home ...the fact that I havent finished my studies ..studies which i will complete Aug '08 as I already am in school and have daycare already for xels and the fact that i havent had time to reorganise and refocus on getting a job ...i want to have my kids b4 30 that only leaves me 3 yrs! And ive worked it all out but my plan seems to have been made by someone who is wearing rose tinted glasses according to her! I think i can do this and my husband will help as much as an African man can help but hey ! I am sooo confused ..im elated but secretly and am loving this life in me fiercely and ever more protective of it !
2007-12-06 (4 weeks)
mmmmmm So its exams study week and reviews and next week the finals and I am fafffing off instead of completing all my due assignments ...typical ... am sooo preoccupied cause i think that that I may be expecting for the second time...i havent told caster cause well im only two days late and am wondering how we will handling having a second but man we'll cope..my parents will be disappointed but no one seems to understand how ive already planned out and thought this through. I want a sibling for xelsbels and i want to do it b4 30 and i will grad in aug 08 so my pregancy wont interfere with my programming! I hope! but am sure all will be alright. i havent checked with the dr or preggers test but man the symptoms are there ......
