Patience is a virtue.  I can hardly stand waiting for the next ultrasound!  While we feel pretty confident that all will be fine, it would be really great to have confirmation immediately, if not sooner :)  Thank God it is Christmas time and I have plenty of distractions with parties and shopping!!

Amazingly enough, I have felt the baby move a few times this week!!  I forgot how weird that feels.  It seems that eating spicy foods gets her moving.  The two distinct times I was aware of her moving involved jalapeño peppers one time and lots of garlic another!  

My tummy has officially "popped" and there is now no way of masking the fact that baby is on the way.  It was so funny how eager everyone was last night at our neighborhood xmas party to give my tummy a little pat.   No one could get over how I had grown since our supper club a couple weeks ago.  Just to be sure I wasn't way off track with my growth, I checked my belly shots from last time and sure enough it was the same.  Looking forward at my other belly shots was a little disconcerting--boy, I was HUGE!!!  LOL...    

One last thing...Zander has "cloned" a baby of his own!  He is so into this pregnancy that he has created his own baby, which is comprised of two pairs of my fluffy slipper socks balled up within each other and carefully wrapped with a few washcloths all tied up with a bow!  He went to sleep over Auntie Jeanne's house last night and had to bring "his baby" along.  His baby goes with him everywhere except pre-school...so cute!

That's all for now.  I'll write again next weekend after all our appointments.  Love to all. 

Yesterday Marc and I went to our follow-up appointment for the high risk Quad Screen results.  Before I even get into detail of the appointment, I have to address the setting of the waiting room because some situations are more like a movie than real life...

When we arrive, we are greeted by a friendly receptionist and handed the obligatory paperwork.  The receptionist handling us was super, but her co-worker was a mess---literally and figuratively.  Now, to her defense, she admitted to having pulled an all-nighter shift at the hospital so I truly blame the administrator for allowing her to continue to work in her flighty state of mind.  However, there is no way she should have the lead on the transfer of patients from the hospital to their center.  Every time she called in a patient pickup (at least 3 in front of us), her information was wrong and our receptionist had to intervene.  It was a little disconcerting to say the least.  Nonetheless, her behavior paled in comparison to our fellow waiting room captives.

If anyone has ever watched Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, or the like, then you should be able to vividly imagine our scenario.  One mother, oh about 17 years old, arrives flanked by an equally young girlfriend and two guys about 20 or so years old.  The mother looks emaciated except for her stomach which she is proudly show-casing with her half shirt.  Her friend has a gothic appearance, while the two guys are classic "wigger" (not sure if that is a PC term, but it definitely explains the look, so no offense).  I try not to judge a book by its cover; however, this group's behavior matched their looks.  Almost immediately, the mother starts to rant with her friend about how although she and the baby's daddy are broken up that he insists he will own her forever, or something to that effect.  She "don't" care though because it is all about her babies (yes, she is having more than one, frightening).  One of the guys passes out in the chair and begins snoring loudly (obviously bored with the girls' conversation), that is until he is awoken by his blaring cell phone ring.  Of course, we get to hear all about how his car can't pass inspection and how he needs to borrow money, and oh of course, his concerns about going to jail-YIKES! 

The waiting room drama increases when they wheel in this woman in her hospital gown who looks and sounds like a man.  She is accompanied by her toothless husband, who despite the lack of teeth appears to be a doting husband.  Anyhow, she is ranting and raving about all the needles they stuck in her "ass" and is cursing like a truck driver.  Finally, an 'average' looking couple joins the room and we feel reassured not everyone coming to this office has issues.  That is until the father gets on his cell phone for work calls and almost completely ignores his wife's request to join her on seeing the doctor.  As ridiculous as this entire waiting room situation sounds, we can at least give credit that it momentarily took our minds off our situation and provided some interest during the wait!!  Now, for the appointment...

First, we were seen by a genetic counselor.  Holly reviewed our results and then asked us a bunch of questions about our family tree/history.  Based on the answers we provided, my estimated pre-screening risk increased slightly from 561 to 501, which was nothing major.  Holly then explained the ultrasound would look at the fetal anatomy and provide feedback as to the normalcy of all the measurements/findings.  The goal is to end up with a residual risk threshold of 271 or better (with 501 obviously being the objective).  Then I had to sign a consent form that I understood that the ultrasound could not provide 100% assurance of any results, and Holly queried our interest in getting an amniocentesis.  We agreed if our ultrasound results weren't above the threshold risk, then we would likely go ahead with an amnio.  With that, we were led back out to wait for the ultrasound.

We got a surprise when called for the ultrasound, since our sonographer was actually a woman we met at a neighbor's party over the summer!  Amy recognized us too, and it was kind of weird for a second, but we all got over it quickly.  The ultrasound was not greatly different than the ones we've had previously; however, the equipment definitely had a much better imaging package and Amy was clearly above average in her skills.  All of the measurements came back normal, but due to the baby's position (facing my spine), there was too much shadowing to get a good look at the internal view of the heart.  Unfortunately, without the complete heart measurements, they could not take us out of the high risk category.  The doctor came in to brief us that we would have to come back in a week to get another look or opt for an amnio today, in order to give us enough time to terminate legally in the state of VA.  Since we wouldn't terminate no matter the results and didn't want to rush into an amnio, she offered we wait two weeks so the baby would be bigger and the position wouldn't be an issue for getting all the needed heart measurements.  So, now we have an appointment for 14 Dec at 2:00 p.m. for another ultrasound.  If those results put us above the threshold risk, then we will likely have enough reassurance to put our concerns behind us.  If not, then we will likely opt for the amnio.  Two reasons for knowing are to kill the suspense of it all and to have more time to prepare if we were to have a special needs child on the way. 

Last bit of news from this appointment is that we did find out the gender of our baby and we are having a girl!!!  We are all very excited about this piece of news, especially Zander.  

So that's all we know for now.  Will keep everyone posted, and thanks to everyone for your care and concern.  Even with the stress of the situation, we find a lot of comfort in the love of our friends and family.             

So far everything has been progressing on a normal path, and then I get a phone message from my doctor requesting I call him to discuss some "concerns" he has with my quad screening.  Of course this message hit me like a ton of bricks, and worst of all was that I couldn't immediately reach my doctor to find out the exact nature of his concerns.  Reverting to instinct, I fear the worst for my baby and begin to panic.  Nearly eight hours later, I finally receive a phone call from one of the doctors who prefaces the blow by saying, "Now, you need to keep your thinking cap on for what I am about to tell you."  My thinking cap?  Is he nuts?  I've been feeling mostly hysterical, but okay...anyhow, he explains that my quad screen results show an increased risk for having a down syndrome baby.  Instead of having a 1 in 561 risk level based on my age / other factors (pre-screening), the test results came back with an increased risk level of 1 in 253 for having a DS child (blood test results combined with my age / other factors).   With this increased risk level, the doctor recommended to get the next step in screening, which is a more in depth ultrasound.  They will then combine those results with the blood test results to determine the residual risk.  If the residual risk level is still of concern, then they recommend an amnio test (this is an invasive procedure which can lead to late miscarriage, but is definitive in its diagnosis vice the screenings which only assess risk). 

I have an appointment on 30 November at 1pm with Maternal Fetal Medicine for a specialized ultrasound called URADS (Ultrasound Risk Assessment for Down Syndrome).  During this ultrasound, they look for three primary "red flag" issues:  thickness of the back of the neck (called nuchal translucency; thicker is an indicator for DS); length of the femur (if shorter than normal); and length of the humerus (if shorter than normal).  The test is performed by doctors who complete OBGYN education and then specialize in high risk OB, so it's not just a sonographer doing the test.  If there are no major red flags in these areas, then they let us decide if we are reassured enough or if we want more testing.  Although, they may still have us do another test at 22 weeks called an echocardiograph to check the fetal heart beat via ultrasound.  I guess DS kids tend to have bad hearts, or are at least at a higher risk.  If there are major red flags, then they will recommend an amnio is performed to be 100% sure on the diagnosis one way or another.  This is all very scary for us, but we'll just keep praying that everything will be fine.  Almost everyone that I've shared the news with has reminded me that God will only give us what we can handle.  While I know this to be true, I still can't help being a bit worried about the "what ifs" of it all. 

I'm sure that there are many other mothers / mothers-to-be out there who are also comfronted with this situation, which is one reason why I am sharing all this in my online journal.  If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you find solace in knowing that you are not alone in your worries.  For everyone else, I ask you include us in your prayers for a positive outcome.  Thank you!!