thinking out loud 3:00 in the morning, and I'm wide awake. This is definitely the part about pregnancy that I'm not appreciating. Last night I forced myself to stay in bed and literally counted sheep to try to bore myself to sleep... but right now it's just not working. Hopefully the chamomile tea will kick in soon.
A few decisions are sitting on me tonight. One of them is where to put the baby after birth. (When I first asked Keith this, his reply was, "in your arms.") We have a couple of options for where our baby sleeps, and like any new mom, I want to choose the best one. We have three bedrooms in our house. One is our room, one is my office and the guest room, and one is Keith's office. We could either create a baby room out of the guest room or we could have the baby in our room for the first few months. Our lease is up a few months after the baby is born, so it is likely that we'll move out then or soon afterwards if we decide to buy a house. Our room is big enough and empty enough that we could devote part of it to a crib, rocker, and dresser/changing table. This is what I've been thinking all along; that way, we could have the baby in our room but his/her own crib for the first two to four months, then move him/her into a separate bedroom when we move. Now, though, I'm considering just converting my office/guest room into a baby room, since I really don't know for sure when we will be moving and am a little hesitant about having the baby and all of his/her stuff in our bedroom.
I guess there are ups and downs to both options. I think I will wake up more with the baby in our room, at least until sleep deprivation takes over. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends having the baby in the parents' room for the first six months, though, and it would certainly be easier than crossing the house to get to the baby's room. I can't paint here, so the whole decorating-the-baby's-room thing doesn't hold a lot of appeal when it would only be temporary, and although I wouldn't mind moving my desk somewhere else, it might be inconvenient to not have a guest room anymore if we went that route. Then again, it might be nice to not have overnight guests during the first few months of the baby's life. Ummm... I don't know. We're starting to get more baby stuff and I so much like having everything in its place that I'd love to just have it all in a room big enough to handle it. But maybe we could have the basics in our room and then the extras in the guest room? That sounds like a good idea to me. I think I'm leaning again toward having the baby in our room for those first 2-4 months... it just seems like such a good setup, since we'll have to start over again in a new place at that time anyway.
Thoughts?
2008-08-25 (23 weeks)
milestone! At last, the moment I've been waiting for!
Yesterday during the greeting time at church, Keith & I were introducing ourselves to a couple with some children, and the lady asked when I was due. That's the first time that a stranger has audibly recognized my pregnancy!! I don't know why I've had it set up as such a milestone, but I have and it blessed me so much! That must mean I'm past the awkward in-between stage now, right? I almost stuttered when I told her because I was so surprised and happy that she commented on my obvious belly.
I seem to be having a lot of dreams about labor now. Last night I had one dream that the baby started breathing air while still in the womb, and I called my doula (in my dream) because I was worried, and she helped me determine that it had just been a dream and the baby wasn't really breathing air. Then I dreamed that I'd just given birth (to a girl) but I'd forgotten the whole thing, so Keith was trying to help me remember how it went.
I think the baby is moving a lot more while I am sleeping, although he/she moves a lot while I'm awake, too. I keep waking up to little kicks. They are definitely stronger all the time, and I can watch the baby's movements against my skin now. It really freaked Keith out the first time he saw it. He looked kind of horrified. He did the same thing when he felt a really strong kick last week, which kind of hurt me at first, but I'm glad that he shared his honest response... and that he got over it! Then the other day we felt a distinct foot or something at the top of my uterus. That was pretty weird. I can't believe how high my uterus has gotten so quickly!
2008-08-22 (23 weeks)
crying There is a young child crying outside... like a hurt cry, not a whiny cry... and it actually makes me smile. And sigh. I love babies. I love children. I can't wait to hold this baby in my arms and be the mama and comforter. I am so happy to be having a baby! I am much less impatient for him or her to arrive now that I can feel so much more movement, but... I am still so eager.
2008-08-21 (22 weeks)
four more months to go Just back from ten days in Canada. Not much has changed since I last updated; I'm just bigger and hungrier. I feel happy and content almost all of the time, which is a big relief after the last year of not feeling that way. Keith is continually grinning and talking about how happy he is that I'm pregnant. It's actually quite encouraging... this tired and waiting thing had me wondering if I'd really enjoy being pregnant multiple times, but my husband's joy takes away any doubts I may have had about my expanding waistline or whether we still want to have a lot of children. I've seen the baby move a few times now, which is fun. I'm starting to notice him/her kicking a lot at certain times of the day... usually a while after I wake up, sometime in the mid-afternoon, and a few hours before bed. It doesn't seem to coincide with meals, though.
Less than four months now until our due date! Sleep continues to be elusive. I just wake up a lot at night, and it may have to do with the vividness of my dreams, which are generally nightmares. I did have one dream in which we accidentally found out that we were having a boy, and I woke up so excited. Keith still thinks it's a boy. He's the only person who does, so I kinda hope he's right and everyone else is wrong, because I'd really enjoy that.
My nightmares tend to be themed like the TV show Heroes, which I am mad at myself now for watching. Keith & I watched the first two seasons on NetFlix this summer. Normally I can't handle gruesome stuff like that, but we just got sucked in and now I spend my nights fighting bad guys. So dumb. I've heard some intriguing stories lately about how much babies can internalize the emotions and even the experiences that mothers go through while carrying them through these developmental months. I really hope our baby will not pick up on my bad-guy-fighting stress.
