Dear Baby Boy,
I am writing this letter, waiting for your arrival. Which won't be for some time.. We still have around 4 months to go.. But, I can feel you inside me as I write this, and it is a sensation I cannot explain. I actually wish that I could keep the kicks even after you're born. I know I'll miss it.. I remember the day your dad and I found out you were going to be born. It was completely surreal, but utterly amazing. We were going to be parents? Finally we were going to start our family.
There have been so many exciting moments after that day. Seeing your little body, only a few inches long, on the screen..I almost cried.. Hearing your heartbeat for the first time. It made everything so much more real. You had been almost just an idea, but suddenly you were a little person. When we finally found out you were going to be a boy, I couldn't believe it. What was I going to do with a boy? All I ever knew was Barbies and dress-up. But, the more I thought about the reality of having a son, the more excited I became. I can't wait to hold you, to see your eyes light up at the new world around you, to chase you around the yard, to watch your daddy teach you to play ball. I guess as you grow and learn, I'll be learing too. Learning to handle when you come home with a crawling animal in your pocket, learning while trying to teach you to be a man (maybe we can leave most of that up to your father since I've never been one). I cannot wait to see him with you..
I was in complete awe the first time I felt you move. I'd been waiting for months and suddenly I felt your little kicks. I couldn't wait to tell your daddy. The next day, as he rested a hand on my stomach, he felt you too. Each day your movements get stronger and more frequent, and I know you're growing. Sometimes you get really excited and I can see your movements from outside.. Like when we went to a concert for Independance Day (I don't think you liked the bass guitar). Or when I drank my first Mt. Dew since being pregnant (you kicked until 1am). I cherish each little movement because it's a small reminder that you're on your way. I wish your grandparents and aunts and uncles could be here for your birth, but believe me when I say they love you more than you could imagine. Soon enough they'll meet you and most likely spoil you..
Today, you're the reason my clothes don't fit anymore, but soon you'll be your own human being and you'll be expected to fit into a world far different from the one I entered. I expect you'll spend your first year doing lots of crying, sleeping, laughing, and learning about your new surroundings. Pretty soon you'll be saying your first word and learning to walk, run, play, and jump.. You'll learn about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and cartoons.. and we'll all be learning what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Then one day you'll go off to school to learn the things we can't teach you at home. I'll cry that day, for it will be the day you cease to be a baby. You will have taken the first steps into the rest of your life, and into the real world. But, I'll know that we can't shelter and protect you forever. You need to make your own mistakes.. Yes, you'll need to fall. But, as long as you can pick yourself back up and learn from your mistakes, I'll know you're doing well.
I want you to know that I have great expectations for you. But, I want you to follow your own heart and make your own decisions. As long as you're happy I'll always be there beside you and stand behind your decisions. As you grow older, you will realize that the world is tough and people are cold. I wish I could sheild you from any pain that will come with growing up, but it's another learning process. I'm telling you it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Everything you experience will mold you into the man you will become.
But, don't grow up too fast. There's plenty of time to work and settle down and you'll know when that time comes.. But, remember the world is a huge place and you shouldn't let anything hold you back from seeing as much of it as you desire. Take each day slowly and enjoy every minute, because with each day that passes, that is another moment you will never get back.
Although there's so much more to say, I'll say lastly that I want you to know I will always be here for you. We will love you and care for you and help you grow as much as we can. If, when you get older, I get selfish and want to stop time to keep you 'my baby boy', I apologize. Someday you'll know how it feels to bring a life into this world and watch them grow. And I cannot wait until my day comes to see you for the first time, and start your life. I love you already.
Love,
Your Mom
