So tired. So itchy.  I think that sums it up perfectly.  I am so itchy around my belly and my feet.  There's a lot going on in there though. I feel twinges and pulls and stuff constantly at the moment.  No kicks yet.

My belly is getting firmer but I still just look fat. Not pregnant.  Everyone at work now knows.  There have been a few comments and a few names. 'Mum' and 'Fatty' mostly.  I'm quite sensitive about the fat thing but I don't feel confident telling people that.  One teacher was telling me about her pregnancy and how she was sick for so long. And then a very graphic description of the diarhoea she had. While I was eating yoghurt mind you! And today I was about to get a rerun but I managed to escape.

Helen, Denise and I might be going to Darwin in a couple of weeks to showcase our successful working model.  I really want to go so I hope it works out.  There is heaps going on at the moment. Next week is the music and choir concert. Then the week after we are performing our musical.  The week after that I am doing nothing.  Need a break.

Have to go to bed now. So tired........................

Here are my current pregnancy symptoms: itchy skin on either side of my stomach, red dots on my skin, increased blood volume (evidenced by my huge blue veins everywhere), needing toilet break every 20 minutes, snotty nose, nose bleeds, back pain, killer headaches, some stomach cramping, hard to sleep, strange vivid dreams, feeling sick. I'm not feeling as sick anymore. I think its partly due to finding out which foods make me sick and avoiding them, and partly due to the sickness abating somewhat. (Although last time I said that it got heaps worse!) Yesterday I went swimming with Alex. I felt quite heavy in the water, not like I usually do.  And stretching to swim was quite tricky too.

However, I still don't look pregnant. Everyone keeps telling me that with twins I will be really big really early. But I'm not. My tummy is solid but not really popping out even a little bit! Even though I feel sick and all the other stuff, and I have seen them on ultrasound, I still sometimes wonder if I really am pregnant. And twins? It seems so surreal. 

I've had some pretty good signs recently that things will go OK but I still have the niggly worry voice at the back of my mind. Hmmm...

I went for an ultrasound today and i saw them moving!!! I saw their arms and fingers and toes and spines and ribs and the two hemispheres of the brains.  It was wonderful.  One is CR 8.4cms and the other is CR 7.6cms. I can't believe thay are inside me and they are real and moving.  It's amazing. 

Last night I had to go to the hospital with massive abdominal pain again.  They think i have a grumbling appendix because it settled down again.  They pumped me full of liquids before I left at 10:30 this morning, and then I drank a litre before my ultrasound. So when they were half an hour late doing my scan, I thought my bladder would burst! It was agony. But so wonderful to see them on the screen.  I can't believe they have faces and fingers and stuff. It's so miraculous.  I was crying a bit because they are so beautiful and they are my babies.  I love them so much already.

I don't feel comfortable in my own body anymore.  It's weird. I feel good about being pregnant, but eating has lost all pleasure.  Today my chest hurts when I breathe because of the extra weight on my chest.  I so want to enjoy this but I feel like I'm constantly complaining.  Does everyone feel this way???

Today everyone at work found out. The principal told them all after I'd left. I'm not sure entirely why but I just didn't want to be there for it.  I feel like everyone will judge me.  Now they have a week to get over it before I am there again. Hopefully something else will happen and everyone will lose interest before we get back.

I am really looking forward to the end of this pregnancy.  I wonder if i will remember feeling this way in a year or so.  Some people have lots of kids so i guess they must get past it.  I have an ultrasound on Monday. It is for the nuchal translucency test.  I am looking forward to seeing the babies again. They will look heaps different now I think.  I am looking forward to this one very much because I know things are OK right now.  All other ultrasounds I have been worried before. 

I'm really tired so I need to sleep now.