Last night I went to a work dinner.  We were all sitting around outside. I, luckily, have provided everyone with a great topic of conversation. As has my other work colleague who is also expecting.  I sat through many conversations about sickness, pregnancy diarrhoea (the same story I had to listen to several weeks ago when I was trying to eat) which put me off my dinner, the size of babies when they are born, the benefits of a vaginal birth versus a caesarian, what kind of child care I need, what kind I dont need.  The list goes on but I tuned out.  I'm starting to wish someone else would do something so we could have something else to talk about.  However I'm starting to realise that people are not telling me other stuff. Unless I'm just forgetting it which is highly possible.  All conversations I am involved in lately, other than directly work related, are about pregnancy and babies.

And I'm fat.

And still not looking pregnant unless I tuck my tshirt under my boobs.

Haven't felt them move yet - even though everyone says I should have by now.

And still getting sick with every kind of food under the sun - which everyone says should have gone away by now.

sigh.......

I thought today that Toby and Hamish go well together as names for twin boys.  I have an ultrasound on Friday. May be able to tell the sexes then.  I'm pretty sure I want to know but I dont want to tell other people yet.  Sounds a bit mad I know.  But I'm allowed to be mad. I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My house is now freshly painted and looks great. Unfortunately the carpet layers didn't come last week so I still dont have the carpet.  I had to move everything out of the bedrooms to be painted, then back in so the rest of the house could be done and now I have to move it out again when they finally do the carpet.  So more waiting, more moving around misplaced furniture. And the best part is I cant fit forwards in the laundry anymore. I have to turn sideways to use the washing machine!

This week I have our Open night on monday, musical performance on tuesday, then tuesday afternoon I am off to Darwin for a two day presentation of my program.  Next week I swear I am doing NOTHING!!  Luckily my student teacher is now gone so that stress has finally been removed. I was quite worried last week. My pulse kept racing and I got lots of spots in front of my eyes, and cramps in my gut.

I am starting to feel heavy now.  Lots of pressure on my groin.  I am also finding it much more comfortable to walk around without pants on (at home anyway). I have to sit alot and I'm so tired.  But cant sleep more than a couple of hours because I then have to get up to pee.  I still haven't felt them move yet but I'm hoping it happens soon.  They jump on my diaphragm a lot and give me hiccups. Especially when I'm playing trumpet!  At first I thought they didn't like it but now I'm telling myself they are dancing!!!

I've also got lots of reflux and still feel sick alot. But I'm eating some better foods. Last night I made coleslaw - first thing I have "cooked" in weeks!  Swimming is good. Quite soothing and I feel more bouyant in the water.  Not walking much as I feel heavy and walking gives me cramps.  I'm really happy to be at 18 weeks. Only 2 weeks to go till the half way point.  Time is blitzing by and I can't wait.  Getting very excited!

Wow. An entry that doesnt have a complaint. I am still stressed to the max. Tonight I had the NT Music schools concert which I have been preparing the kids for for weeks. It was great but I'm so glad its finished.  Now we just need to get the musical done and I'm finished!  Last night I got a call from the painter who is coming to do the 2 bedrooms. ON THURSDAY!! Talk about short notice. So I have to move everything out of there by Thursday morning. I started last night, too tired tonight. I think I'll be busy tomorrow night!

One thing I did notice tonight is that my band pants would not do up. My belly is getting rounder. I still look fat but a few people have mentioned that it looks more pregnant now. That's a relief. I was hoping to get some sympathy from the painters and have them move the furniture. But alas. I will have to just tell them and hopefully elicit some sympathy.

But I'm so excited. Once the spare room is painted it will cease to be the spare room and will hereon be called "the nursery"!!! I'm so excited. I can buy some baby furniture and put some of the stuff I've been given out so I can see it and touch it. I'm so excited. 

I broke a bit out of one of my teeth about a week ago. Now I keep getting food stuck in it, which really hurts. And when I vomit it hurts too.  I am scared to go to the dentist because I've read that the anaestheic may harm the babies. I don't know what to do.  Another 20 weeks may cause some pretty big problems if I leave it.  But I refuse to do anything that may harm the babies.

It is still hard to sleep. The weather is nice now. I have a fan on and no covers and it is very pleasant. Finding a comfortable position is still difficult, and I am waking up every few hours to wee. I have found a pillow under my knee is helpful.  Acid reflux is also a problem still.

I'm feeling quite depressed at the moment. I have a student teacher and she is driving me crazy.  I worked my ass off when I was on my teaching prac. She barely seems to do anything!  She asked to meet me yesterday at 10 at school.  I was there for over 2 hours and she didn't turn up or call or anything. I was so mad I started crying.  Once I started I couldn't stop.  I am sure my principal thinks I am a pain as I keep going to her to complain.  I wish she could see me as a professional but I seem to be just coming off as a whiner.

All I seem to do at the moment is complain. I wish the feeling sick would go away.  I have a small baby bump but it is pretty much covered up by my fat bump so you still cant tell I'm pregnant.  The painter hasn't called me back and the guy I got to quote on my new blinds hasn't got back to me either. So I feel upset and irritable and once again I cant stop crying.

I love you babies. I know this will all be worth it when I hold you and I promise I will love you forever.