First ultrasound Today is the best day I've had in a long time. I can't help but smile. My initial hopes have been realized so far. This pregnancy is going better than the last.
I had my first ultrasound appt. I think it is odd that our doctor's here do ultrasounds as early as 6 weeks but they say it is to confirm the due date.
The last time I went through this, they found a tiny lump but no heartbeat and told me to come back in a week and we'd see then. When I went back there had been growth, but still no heart beat. They sent me home for another week and then there was no growth , no heartbeat and it was all over.
But today. Today was wonderful. Not only did we see a little bean. But it was a flashing little bean. A bean with a heartbeat. A 122 BPM heartbeat. The ultrasound tech even closed in on the sound and I could hear it. What a wonderful sound that was. What a renewal of hope.
I thank you for the comments I received on my last post. I haven't been around much (I seem to go to bed a lot earlier these days) so I haven't had opportunity to see your journals yet, but what a great encouragement those comments were to me, especially since I wasn't expecting any.
All close family members are in the know now and have knowledge that they are free to tell others if they wish. Still praying that this will last, but so much more encouraged that it will.
2007-11-25 (4 weeks)
No one knows I'm here I thought about paying $9.95 for privacy... but thought better of it. We'll need the money later.
No one knows I'm here, so no one knows to look for me.
We found out this morning. It's J's grandma's birthday. It's three days past Thankgiving and reason for me to give thanks.
This is our second time going through this. Our first was in May and sadly ended in miscarriage & a D&C in mid July. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever been through. And in comparison to others I've known it really wasn't so bad. But the ending of the last has made the excitement of this one a little sedate. And has made me very prayerful and hopeful that everything is different this time around.
And so far it is. Last time, my husband had no idea I was late or that I had tested. And I told him in a special way with a Father's Day hat that was available in the stores at the time. This time he sat with me while we waited for the test. Last time we told his parents on Father's day, and my parents on my Mom's birthday. This time we'll tell his parents on Tuesday when we pick them up from the airport, and my parents and sister when we go for Christmas in two weeks. Last time we were waiting till the "14 week" mark to tell extended family and friends. This time we plan to do so as soon as we've told our parents. I felt like I didn't honor what short life my last child had by not acknowledging him/her to the world before he/she was gone. Why not show faith that we think this one will go differently? And why not allow others to comfort us if it doesn't. Those few that did know last time rallied around us and I was so thankful for that. I'm not sure I would have made it through without them.
So here's hoping and praying for a wonderful 8 more months.
