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TODAY HAS GOT TO HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. my daughter has thrown everything at me, ive got bruises on my legs my arms where she has kicked and hit me, ive tryed to disapline her with time out, ive taken her favorite toys away from her, ive tryed to ignore her bad behavior and do positive things with her, but every thing i do is wrong one minute she is so angry the next she is crying and saying sorry and this goes on all day long, she screams and shouts shes trown loads of things at me, when i give her time out she comes out of her room and wont back off, i know this cant go on so tomorrow i am going to the authoritys and let them no i cant be mum to her anymore, i feel a totall faliure all this never ends day in day out, i spend lots of time with her she just seems to want my attention every minute of the day WHERE AM I GOING WRONG my neighbour has complained about all the noise.Do all adhd children crave this much attention i do love her and always will but enough is enough, she is my only child i get her activities at weekends so she can mix with other children, She is so angry all of the time ive tryed to talk to her. i cant take it anymore where have i gone wrong? i feel so bad, its never ending her behavior is getting worse all i want to do is walk away ? ↓
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| Name: tracy | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 6:00 PM |
| your not a bad mom, your child is sick and you need to get more help and suport as much as you can you cant do it alone not without making yourself sick, hang in there. I will pray for you and your daughter. And remember there are outside resources find and use them to the max ↑ |
| Name: Mom w/ADHD Teen | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 4:19 AM |
| You are describing my life. I'm a single parent of an ADHD 15 year old girl. It has been a struggle for most of her life. You are not alone! On Friday she was mad at me for no reason and through my clothes all over my room. Today she through a planter at the wall and hit me a few times. I try to remain calm, but I get so angry and yell at her. She is so disrepectful but says she doesn't know that she is being that way. Does anyone have advice on disciplining her? The only thing I could think of is to make a contract so she knows what the rules and consequences are specifically and give per positive reinforecement. She has trouble keeping friends so to restrict her from spending time with them, I feel, may back fire. Tracy, you are not alone! How old is your daughter? ↑ |
| Name: jane | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 1:33 PM |
| ive got an 7 year old with adhd i know exactly the way you feel ↑ |
| Name: .... | Date: Dec 16th, 2005 1:10 PM |
How about a good pop on the butt?
My son has given me black eyes, he hits and kicks me in public, cusses me, and well-- nothing stops me from whoopin his bottom when it needs to be. I dont think a time out, or ignoring or taking toys away are the correct forms of punishment for an adhd child. We will make him stand in the middle of a room and hold his arms out.
its not easy, thats for sure. ↑ |
| Name: maddie | Date: Dec 18th, 2005 1:15 AM |
| i have a 12 year old dather i know how it fills and you and her will get mad at each other and my my dad had it to so just try to hang in there and try to under stand ↑ |
| Name: Nathalie | Date: Dec 18th, 2005 2:53 AM |
I just lived this a few hours ago, I swear these kids become another child. I don't know what to do anymore either. I'm seeing in (no experience whatsoever) pediatrician on Tues. I will ask him to refer somewhere else. My son started Concerta last week, no big changes from the ritalin and clonidine he was taking. I'm so discouraged. Hope to find peace and quiet soon in this household. It's affecting the whole family. I have an older daughter as well.
Nathalie ↑ |
| Name: joanne | Date: Dec 19th, 2005 4:53 AM |
| i hope today was better then yesterday ↑ |
| Name: joanne | Date: Dec 19th, 2005 4:56 AM |
| i hope today was better then yesterday, ( sorry i hit the wrong button) my son was the way all these kids have been described, have any of them been checked for mood disorders? or put on god i hate to say it yes it is another drug called risperdall, sense being on risperdall he sleeps eats and no more violent out bursts....................none of us are alone, it just feels that way ↑ |
| Name: mother of 2 adhd kids | Date: Dec 21st, 2005 4:12 AM |
| i have two step sons that are both dignosed with adhd, the eight year old is much worse than the younger one. we go through the same thing day in and day out. it was difficult to deal with at first but we began a routine and went to therapist for help, he has bipolar disorder with adhd. it does get better you just have to get a routine that works for your child. just remember it's not your fault or her either. it sometimes just happens. god never gives us nothing we can't handle. ↑ |
| Name: kirsten | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 6:31 PM |
| have you thought about giving her play dough or sometrhing with the same consistance?? often, kids are just discouraged and need something to get frustrations out. my son uses playdough, and kneeds it in his hands when he's frustrated. this calms him down and he doesn't throw a fit and have a melt down. just a thought. stay strong. ↑ |
| Name: Tracy | Date: Jan 1st, 2006 3:47 PM |
| First off it's not your fault I feel each child with ADHD needs different things all the time my daughter whose 9 also has ADHD and with a 1 1/2 yr old it's hard. You don't wanna give up on her or yourself do you? I have found talking to people with the same type children helps. Life is very fustertating these days and our children don't help us one bit. ↑ |
| Name: Steph | Date: Jan 4th, 2006 1:43 AM |
| I'm not sure if you've tried medications for your daughter before. But, I have to tell you, I have for mine. My daughter is 9 and has ADHD. She's tried several, until we found what works the best. She is doing well. My son will be 6 this month and was also diagnosed three years ago with ADHD, mostly due to his hyper activity. However, he has tried every ADHD med available, including the non stimulant, Strattera. After much aggression toward myself, school staff, daycare staff and etc. and drug trials, ADHD has been ruled out. Some other strange behaviors had been displayed through these struggles. Ultimately, he has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS by his Psyhciatirst and Psychologist. They have been treating him as a team for over two years. Perhaps your daughter is being misdiagnosed? Unfortunately, there is not treatment for PDD-NOS(autistic spectrum). However, he does take medications that seem to calm him and help control the aggression. He's on mood stablizers. I think it's too much for a little guy. But, it is the best we all can do for now. The goal is to have him on as little if no meds someday. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: mother | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 1:43 AM |
| I feel for u Tracy My son is adhd and does that too you need timeout and r entitled to it so go find out from a councilor or someone and get respite care for you child and try to think what it must be like for her as well . Is she on any meds / ↑ |
| Name: hell | Date: Jan 24th, 2006 9:19 PM |
| she probly has a anger mangement problem take her to a doctor may be meds will help ive been in your place it should work ↑ |
| Name: Candace | Date: Jan 28th, 2006 9:50 PM |
I'm a mother with an adhd son (13) and a daughter undiagnosed- who may have it. We have been having a hard time with some of the above behavior your talking about. Yesterday and today I have been striping their rooms of everything that they have, minus furniture. My friend used to work with troubled teens and said in the treatment centers that they used this method, then allowed the kids to earn it back. . We just can't give in to these kids. I'm also going to stay more on the behavioral modification course that we have chose (easy child) They will have to earn back everything. In that program- you can find it over the internet- they gain points for expected behavior to gain feeling good about themselves and gain points on the behaviors that you want help shape. It was working as long as I used it- but being adhd myself and unmedicated I slipped off during christmas break. I used to hand out money to stop the whining, etc. with this program I haven't given them money in some time because they haven't made it to the level that they can spend it from their bank. They aren't too sad about it either, it seems they are thinking of Ideas to save money. My daughter gives me alittle more problems than my son. I send her to her room to get back in control- I try not to react, I say boy, your out of control, I don't like to see you that way. My friend said you can hold them securely to help them get control. See that way it's their issue and not because (your losing your mind-which I feel sometimes I am) it is their issue. Today my daughter finally owned her own behavior. Instead of saying you make me mad, she said I don't know if I'll ever be able to control this. My daughter can't seem to see that she can control herself. She is now thinking of ways to be good, I haven't figured out when I will begin returning things.
If you try out that program, you will see a difference. It is a point system, if they get to a certain amount, they change levels. The following week- if they reach that level- then she can do her favorite activity- but you have the program to blame along with her choices as to why she hasn't earned the trip to the park, etc. This will not kill them, it will give them character. Be careful to guard the program for the first month or so, because my friend said that kids will try to destroy what will actually help them. It keeps you in line, while being fair to all kids in the family. It really does help along with meds. I haven't tryed my daughter on meds because I've had a hard time with my sons school. Try to stay in control and make her own her own behavior. These kids will be fine being deprived momentary to get some character. I give in to them so much, so I'm taking advantage of my PMS strength and taking charge and staying the course of this program.
Also, my sons doctor said that children in a test study did better 1st with medication and behavior modification program, 2nd with medication only and 3rd with behavior modification only.
On the easy child program, good behavior and expected behavior is rewarded and no points or deduction of points result in bad behavior.
Also, check with the doctor, is her dosage ok, some meds have an effect on depression- my sons sadness- has gotten much better.
I hope this helps
Candace ↑ |
| Name: Kim | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 10:24 AM |
I have a 3 year old daughter I adopted at birth that has ADHD. She was diagnosed at 26 months. I did'nt want to believe ADHD could be diagnosed at 26 months... She's 2 right. She's going to be a little hyper. Well at 39 months now it is more clear and she also has some sensory issues. I have had a very difficult time with her. Her latest adventures are posted in Stay at home Moms under Mischeivous toddler. Since she is so young, I will not use medication, therefore I have become very involved with her special education teachers and occupational therapists, other parents in the school she now attends. When I was reading your posting, it made me think more of ODD. This is oppositional defiance disorder. This has been a co-diagnosis of many with ADHD. I have cared for a boy, now 8, for 2 years that is ADHD/ODD. I sought information online to help deal with him as a caregiver, since he was spending up to 8 hours a day with me, I needed to find ways to help him, and me too, co-exist with each other. If you, or anyone else that these actions sound familiar to, want to see where I started out searching, go to http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/72.htm
Which is American Academy of Children's Psychiatry. They have list some identifying characteristics and ideas to deal with the actions of children with ODD. I am no saying at all that this is what she has, but if the behaviors are similar, some of the ideas for handling them may work. Remember that she is looking to get a reaction out of you. I have learned to walk away most of the time and have even put myself in time out. lol
Good luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: experienced | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 7:22 AM |
| M-E-D-C-A-T-I-O-N can i say it any clearer ↑ |
| Name: !sm | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 9:12 PM |
Έρωτα ή πόλεμο
Τι ζητάς απ’ τα δυο
Έρωτα ή πόλε_
6;ο
Πες
μου τελικά
Τι θες από μένα ↑ |
| Name: emtf71 | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 12:49 AM |
| Hi my son is 7 we do the award system to it works a little bit. helps out maybe you should try karate I heard it worked good on anger issues. I'm going to try it my self. this month. I tell you if it worked ↑ |
| Name: Kim | Date: Feb 28th, 2006 1:19 AM |
| My 7 year old has ADHD/ODD/PTSS and intermittent explosive disorder. Some days I just want to hide because I don't know what to expect, he can be very mean, it hurts me a lot when he treats me this way, but I keep telling myself he can't control it. He has been on medication and it is working but somedays he still explodes so I count my blessing when he is happy and uses his manners. Now my 3 year old daughter is getting uncontrollable, she is showing the same signs that he was at age 3. So I'm thinking well here I go again. She is very mean and uncontrollable she never acted like that before she was the sweetest kid but now OH GOD I feel like running and hiding. I am so glad that there is other parents out there. For awhile I felt like I was the only parent out there going through this. So some days I just come on here just so that I can vent or tell myself I'm not the only one. Good luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: Rachael | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 11:25 AM |
| I have my brother with add living with me and i know dont ever think it is your fault because its not you just have to learn what works with that child. No one helped my brother ever he is now 19 and we have only just managed to help with him i have no parents so its up to me he is doing well with the right treatment but he has now gone to prison for criminal damage for something he did 2 year ago. Get your girl treatment before its to late and try to understand how she feels because it is hard for them to. ↑ |
| Name: Patty | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 2:03 PM |
Tracy, you didn't say how old she is... my son is 4 and has ADHD and ODD, it is rough, he is on meds, but when the meds wears off throughout the day, before his next dose, it is rough... I highly recommend what therapists call "play therapy" this is for young kids, they call it different for different ages... but please don't give up on her... get her help... I adopted my son when he was a newborn, and god wouldn't give us this much if we couldn't handle it...
thinking of you,
Patty
Pittsburgh, PA ↑ |
| Name: Mrs. Miller | Date: May 24th, 2006 9:10 PM |
| Don't walk away, she will get worse. you have to deal with it in your own way with meditation and healthy choices, such as fruits, and plenty of salads for you and her and take her out more to the park or to places that will take her mind off of being bad. take her to the library or the zoo or museum. don't stay inside , if you don't have a car, go for walks and never yell at your child. try it. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: May 25th, 2006 2:52 AM |
http://www.feingold.org/program-pg.html
try changing her diet I posted it under ADHD Diet Aid ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: May 25th, 2006 2:58 AM |
Tracy, Has she ver been tested ? She sound more like my Stepson that is Bipolar. If you look up at co called Brain matters they to a scan of the brain and can see the activity and what might be the cause. SHe mauy have a chemical imbalance??
Please let us know how you are & I will be praying for you!!! ↑ |
| Name: Beautiful | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 7:42 AM |
| Maybe just maybe everyone on here should realize that if the ADD/ ADHD is not being treated with medications for the disorder maybe the DR. misdiagnosed your child. I have a 4 y/o who has been on the roller coaster for 2 years. We have tried three medications, risperdall, adderall, seroquel, all with a clonodine at bedtime. My child has gotten worse, on all of them and the only thing is the clonodine would knock him out for the night. Since dropping his last (seroquel) med. I see no difference in his behavior. He has done the time-out, corner, spanking, behavior rewards programs, and nothing works. We have gone through testing, blood, MRI, hearing, vision. MY SON IS AUTISTIC, AND ADD/ADHD, PDD, OCD, ARE THE QUIRKY LITTLE SIDE PROBLEMS OF THE DISORDER. IT DOESN'T HURT TO ASK IF IT IS POSSIBLE THE DR. IS WRONG. IF YOU DON'T QUESTION THEM THEY ARE LIKE TELEPHONE PSYCHICS THEY OVER CHARGE YOU FOR EVERY MINUTE YOU TALK TO THEM. TRACY THE CONSTANT CRAVING FOR YOU IS MORE THAN ADD/ADHD THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE CALL YOUR DOCTOR AND GET ON HIM TO FIGURE THIS OUT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 3:44 PM |
| I would spank her bottom. I used to do all the time out crap. spending time trying to analyse every behavior. i finely spanked his butt. do it while your in control though. so you dont beat her. This could take a while to be affective. swatt her send her to her room. If she comes out swatt her again back to her room. she'll get the picture. right now she has all the control and you need to get it back. you must be consistent. dont make any eye contact while disaplining her. dont show emotion. adhd children a very clever and will use any weakness. They are usally gifted and very smart. hang in there it will get worse before better.Good luck ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 3:47 PM |
| Oh yah, If you cant get control after 2 weeks. your child probibly has some kind of emotional problems that need medication. so you need to see a doctor. ↑ |
| Name: Kim Mori | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 2:46 AM |
You need to put your child on medication, NOW ! Try everything before you give up! Nothing can bring you peace but yourself!
Cheers! ↑ |
| Name: jamlyn1977 | Date: Jul 25th, 2006 5:15 AM |
I am dealing with a 3 year old who I believe has ODD, his pediatrician said he was a "strong willed child" and gave him some valium to knock him down a notch, it did not touch him. He constantly wants my attention, his dad is in iraq, but he exhibited this behavior before he left. Noone wants to watch him because he just does not listen. He is better for strangers than for me, I guess because he is not sure what they will do. I've tried time out, I've tried putting him in the corner, taking toys away, putting him in a locked room, spanking him...he laughs at me.
He runs away when he is outside, he just keeps running, he thinks it is funny, he will run out in the street, i've had this rule "if you run away when we go outside and play you will go inside and stay there the rest of the day" he knows this rule, but does that stop him from running away....nope. Even if I give him a warning when i see him wandering, he turns around to acknowledge what i've told him and then runs for it, why is this so fun for him??
He does not want to sleep in his room, I have had the biggest battle getting him to sleep in his own bed, he will wake up 3-4 times a night and scream at the top of his lungs, I think he is dying or something. I thought ok, let him cry alittle he will go back to sleep....nope he just keeps on screaming until someone goes in there for an hour and half, or until he makes himself throw up...that makes me so so so mad at him.
As soon as I get him a new toy he breaks it and demands that I buy him a new one........NO!!!! This just makes me never want to buy him a toy ever again, for him to think he is so spoiled that he can just break a toy and i'll get him another one, what put that idea into his head? I've never done that. He is very destructive.
He is also very smart, he listens to everything you say he knows how to cuss, how to use the words, he can count as high as you want if you can get him to do it, he has an excellent memory, he quickly figures out the mechanics of things, he understands the concepts of batteries and how things work, it's like he is brilliant, but chooses to be mean. He has an older sister 6 yrs old, they fight like cats and dogs, worse than cats and dogs, I cannot go pee without the two of them fighting, they are so mean to each other they hit each other with the toy they think will do the most damage to the other one.
My son gets into one thing he is not supposed to and before I can get that cleaned up he is into another thing. When it is just me and him he can sit down in the recliner with me and watch a movie, just as sweet as can be.
I don't know what to do, I can't go anywhere with him because he won't sit still. I can't go out to eat, to a movie to the store, he always says he wants to go somewhere else, when we are at home he wants to go to the store, when we are at the store he wants to go home, he tells me how to drive he cannot stand it when the car is sitting at a red light he is yelling GO from the backseat.
I give up, everyday it is the same thing, if he thinks I will get annoyed that is what he will do. ↑ |
| Name: TheresaE44 | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 2:13 AM |
| What happened? Did the authorities find a place for your daughter. I am angry, too. ↑ |
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