I posted most of this in a response to another post, so I'm just going to copy/paste most of it so people can see it after a short intro...
One... the doctors DO NOT have ADD.. they DO NOT know what its like, they DO NOT know as much about it as you could if you did true research online... google it for a while, try different combinations... and i can guarantee that you will end up more knowledgeable than the person you go to for advice.
Second... as someone who never even took Adderall until randomly in college, then understanding the past 20 years and seeing signs of ADD all over the place...
i would HIGHLY reccomend NOT giving your kids a daily dose of AMPHETAMINES.
I'd prefer not to take Adderall myself even at 25, i would NEVER EVER even consider it for my young kid. Their brains are still developing, DRUGS are not the answer. maybe MAYBE in highschool i would consider it for my kids if they were doing REALLY poorly...
Natural substances work better... Tyrosine, Fish Oil, Vitamins, DMAE, PROPER DIET (google a good ADD diet.. high protein), EXERCISE, mental stimulation (reading, chess, checkers, spades, cards, poker.... yahoo games are free everything even, but in person would be even better)
the ADD mind needs to be STIMULATED and CHALLENGED... we are EXTREMELY different than most when it comes to our thought processes and how our minds work... it is NOT a problem, it is NOT a defficiency... it is DIFFERENT, and in my opinion, BETTER... STOP trying to force your kids to conform to societal norms... let THEM figure out who THEY are THEMSELVES, with helpful attempts at understanding from yourselves... forcing/making/EXPECTING them to be the same as everyone else is a MISTAKE... we are different, societal norms are confining for us, authority is inheritantly looked at with suspicion, and respect, and RECOGNITION of authority, is only given when earned, when it is PROOVED that you are an authority because you SHOULD be, not just that you ARE....
now on to the copy/pasted part... maybe i'll be back at some point to check in on this... if i remember... i am ADD after all ;)
I could only make it partway through these posts.... first, how about you STOP WHINING about everything about your kid. You say they complain too much? Maybe they are just learning it from you. How about the line.. think of the SOLUTION, not the PROBLEM.
Half of your problems is not understanding the true problem. ADD is not just "some disease"... most of the problems you deal with comes from your kids being bored and not being challenged. It may not seem that way from the outside... but trust me, the ADD mind needs stimulation and challenge.
Not using AMPHETAMINES and DRUGS could be a huge help as well. Research Tyrosine, FIsh Oil, Vitamins, DMAE, Diet, and other natural helps that provide the proper chemical balance for an ADDer... without resorting to amphetimes for children!
Exercise is a HUGE part of what helps the ADD mind to focus... ... a little running around in the yard, working out for older ones, walking the dog, whatever... get a little un-sedentary
and your kids are bothering you?? How about you teach them to read, introduce them to science fiction or fantasy novels if they are of an age to read them... detective mystery novels for younger kids.... teach them to play chess, let them play online and THINK about things... let them play in live competitions with their peers...
i NEVER paid attention in school, yet did amazing the whole time... the ADD mind can bullshit through school better than a normal mind can do it the regular way... it's a whole different way of thinking, the main problem is trying to force them to conform to societies norms...
If your kid complains that he has no friends... COMPLAINS mind you, not just that you think maybe he doesn't or should have more... then maybe your kid needs to learn how to be a better friend himself...
you dont need a lot of friends at a young age... setting up "play dates" is counter-productive... if they are comfortable within their "shell" then there is nothing wrong with that... let THEM learn THEMSELVES how they want to... as I said, ADD is a completely different mindset and thought-process, and unless you are one of us then do not attempt to understand it...
and TRUST ME... doctor's don't understand either. Encourage your kids independence, encourage their straying from societal normals, encourage them to be happy with themselves... and not a "oh, its ok, you'll fit in someday, be happy with who you are now"... but "you are different from the majority of society in how you think... different is GOOD... learn to use your strengths to gain an advantage over everyone else"
a "mental disease" would phase itself out over generations, yet ADD is becoming more and more prevalent.. it's evolution, not disorder... legs used to be a "different" thing too... yet they came in pretty handy when they allowed species to leave the ocean... who know what will turn out good, and what will turn out bad in the long run...
ENCOURAGE your kids uniqueness.. ATTEMPT to understand where they are coming from... PUSH for them to understand themselves in THEIR OWN WAY.... THEY will figure out THEIR ideal mental patterns on THEIR own... see if they can become interested in fantasy books, science fiction, detective mysteries... let them fully explore their uniqueness and stop trying to CONFORM them to societal standards that simply do not fit with the ADD mind. ↓
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| Name: ADHD MOM with Gifted ADHD son | Date: Feb 10th, 2008 3:40 AM |
| I absolutley enjoyed your encouragement of uniqueness and letting these children feel comfortable with who they are. My son was diagnosed last year after my trying to get a dianosis for 3 years. He is 8 and very intelligent but very impulsive and hyperactive. We actually took him to Amen Clinic in DC to have Brain Spect Imaging done for him because i was so opposed to medication. His spect showed that he has ring of fire ADHD which is extremely inflexible and impulsive. I currently have him in a private Christian school with small class sizes, a private tutor that sees him 2 hours a week and reports all progress, and a child psycologist who works with our son and my husband and i on parent coaching because of the existing ODD that tagged onto the ADHD. I really notice him bothering children even when he doesnt mean to. I am agonizing over the way they look at him. SOme still want to do things with him but i am seeing a big picture here. He is not interested in sports but loves fishing, hiking and collecting reptiles and anything about science. His sensories are very intense with regard to socks and touch. Currently i am worrying about this private school being too traditional and not having enough diversity to understand how to work through relationships and turn social situations around. Would a more wholistic school be better. One that is more project driven? Is he best to stay at a structured small class setting? Any thoughts from your perspective? ↑ |
| Name: MN-MOM | Date: Feb 11th, 2008 9:05 PM |
| ADHD Mom: My son has been in a Montessori classroom which is very unstructured and now he is in public school which is very structured. He does MUCH better with public school. Routines are crucial with ADHD and ODD. The uncertainty and inability to prepare for unexpected things and thus a lot of frustration was difficult in the Montessori setting. In public school we also have special education specifically on social stories and how to handle frustrations, using real situations that have occurred in the past. That's my experience. ↑ |
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