I'm a 51 yr old single-professional working mother. My 10 year old son does not have a father-he chose not to be involved w/his life from the moment he found out I was pregnant.
Typical story where girl falls in love w/ the "Bad Boy". After 3 1/2 yrs being together, I finally escaped the horrible heartbreak I went through trying to show this man what TRUE love really could be. But alcohol & drugs were worth more to him. Through the physical, verbal abuse, posessiveness, even horrid treatment of his own parents (red flag)--I fell passionately in love w/the sober man. He continued to stalk me much after our breakup.
We had no involvement all thru my pregnancy-Birth-& to this very day.
I have raised my son as a single parent all on my own. My son was diagnosed w/AD-HD @ 3 yrs old. After many yrs of searching the different medications that would conform to his particular chemical brain imbalance, the doctor found the right balance that would wrk.
My son is a "smart" AD-HD type--can concentrate for long periods. He is extremely creative (draws). He is a very handsome little man-but lacks social skills of being more aggressive & open like myself.
I consider myself a resourceful-together mother & have been through one end to the other of EVERYTHING TO DO. We both see a therapist to assist in daily coping....my sister is two yrs younger & we are not "sisterly-sisters". She has never been the Aunt who takes my son to give me a break--let alone does NOT understand the AD/HD. My parents are passed away, I have No time in my life to date (have tried)-I make a descent living w/a great job, BUT HAVE NO SUPPORT. The closest I get is a 3-5 hour play-date once in a blue Moon.
I've been a very independent, strong-willed person....but it fails me to admit I can't deal w/it every DAY!! My family physician has put ME on medication to ease & help ME cope.
What other options can I do? Does anyone have suggestions? I'm deeply lonely but I live my life for my "special gift"--I pray every morning & EVery nite to give me strength! Is there someone out there that understands? ↓
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| Name: Tammy | Date: Jan 11th, 2011 10:45 PM |
| It's a tough jorney, especially alone. Sports are a good way to get him to socialize. But pick things ADD kids are good at. It must be fast paced so they don't get bored. Karate teaches self discipline and self control. Any sports that are less team oriented, not baseball, it's really slow. Track, soccer, rugby, football, or swimming are good. Music lessons, art classes, something where like minded children are. If he's in learning support, he may have some other ADD kids he likes, get them together. If they get along maybe the parents can swap sleepovers. Then you get to socialize with the parents which is nice. You have to be positive, he's going to keep you busy, don't worry about a social life. Go out with some co-workers. Hire a babysitter. Get one with ADD if you can, they understand your child. Check with the highschools or local colleges or YMCA for babysitters. It may cost some dough, but you've got to get away or you'll go nuts. ↑ |
| Name: Emma | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 2:42 AM |
| I have a 5 yr old with ADHD and yes she is very smart and loves art....but she drives me crazy most times....just know you are NOT alone!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Trisha | Date: Jan 15th, 2011 12:02 AM |
| To be honest I totally understand everything your going through. I am a single mom of a 6 year old son that has ADHD, he's very smart as well and very "active" from the time he wakes up in the morning until time he goes to bed he is constantly on the GO. He's very sweet. I understand about the husband situation too. I was married and after our son was born he decided he couldn't handle raising a son or being married. The bar life was more important to him. More power to him...we had totally different life styles anyways, i was in love and regret our marriage but not my son. He has supervised visitations with him son with me being the supervisor. It's been rough, there's nights I've cried myself to sleep because of how rough it is being a single parent and raising him on my own full time and then on top of that having a son with ADHD. People don't understand sometimes that children with the ADHD cann't control some of the things they do like the always wanting to be on the go...they really do wanna do better but the chemical imbalance makes it hard. I wouldn't trade a single day for the joy my son has brought into my life. Having a child with ADHD allows you to see the world in a whole new view. You notice things in this world only your child can show you. I can only work part time, I'm also in college full time but doing it as online classes. and then by time be gets home from school I can have my time free for him. Children with the ADHD do need a lot of attention. You get angry sometimes but you just have to take a deep breath and step back. Just pray to God that he will help make you through it all. Cause think about it...God gave you your son because he knew you could handle it. God never puts on you more than you can handle even when you don't think you can. My sister have a 10 year old son that has ADHD and ODD. it's been rough with him and she has two girls as well that are younger than him. she found out when she was pregnant with him that he only had a 5% chance of living. he was born without a urethia tube and he had to have one made. he also has to have his bladder drained every day 3x a day and he has to wear a bad at night. one of his kidneys has stopped working almost and the other is getting there....one is working 7% and the other is working 33%. he'll have to be put on Kidney Dialysis probably in the next year if soon and we'll have to find him a kidney and pray it works "if" we find a match and he's not on the waiting list too long. his growth has completely stopped as well and he's losing weight. I don't know how my sister had the strength to have two more children and to do what she does everyday. Every night when I put my son to bed I pray and thank God that ADHD is the only thing my son has. No matter where life takes you or what it puts you through you have to find that inner strength that everything is going to be alright in the end. I'm in Smyrna, Georgia...I'm not sure where you are from but I would love to talk, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to that's a single mom raising a son on their own as well. My email is [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Trisha | Date: Jan 15th, 2011 12:07 AM |
| Opps sorry for all the typos my son has been reading me the new story he just wrote lol and I was kinda side tracked and not paying attention. forgot to proof read it. ↑ |
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