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Every year we have the yearly IEP meettings. and the usual are there. The special Ed teacher the school phycologist, and Principal; Those three are there every year and understand how my son is. But Every year I have to explain again michaels behavior and why it is happening. Dont you get so tired of putting all your families buissness out there to everyone all the time. Its exhaustingI come home and feel like crap. No one there is trying to make me feel this way. Its just all the excuses that I know arent excuses they are facts but seem like they are. Do you get what I mean?? Like I told my husband I feel so exposed and its hard. Some teachers think adhd is a unch of crap and we use it for a excuse for bad behavior. Like our home isnt stable or consistant. I stayed home for 12 years because of this and its sooo hard. defending myself my family and my son. sometimes I just want him raised and gone so I can have peace in my life and then I think if it werent for school I would love my life with my children. Its just so much presure all the time with a adhd child. Thankyou for listening im just down about this and It was a successful meeting one teacher just complained about mike touching other kids and causing disruptions and Im feeling like she isnt getting the whole adhd thing and I feel all teachers should know about it. But that would be a purfect world and It isnt. ↓
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| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 12:53 PM |
| when I ment i had to explain it is always with the teacher in his regular classroom for that year sorry I didnt explain that very well.. ↑ |
| Name: teresa | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 1:07 PM |
| hey layne, don't feel bad, I understand the need for peace. My little dream is my daughter will grow up and have a child just like her so she can realize just what I've put up with for all these years. I know that doesn't sound very nice, but it's nice to have fantasies. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 1:09 PM |
| Ive really excepted my sons adhd Its others that dont. Thats the hard part. ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:03 PM |
Perhaps you could write it all down for anybody who's new to your son.
Write a full, concise history with any relevant family background. Give them a copy and let them keep it to read at their leisure.
I've heard a bad thing yesterday. It made me sooooo mad.
The mum that I avoid told me yesterday that one of the classroom helpers - whos son is in my sons class - had told her that my son was a bad influence on hers because he hangs around with my son who's a bully!
I've been so upset and angry. My son had some issues in Reception Year regarding pushing other kids around, but the school helped to solve those and he's fine now. He gets on well with the other kids and his teachers are happy with his conduct.
This damn woman doesn't know my son or my family and she doesn't know what we've been through. I don't know whether to complain to the headmistress or to the woman directly. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:26 PM |
| This is what im talking about they cant catch a break. The teachers should be in no way be speaking outside the school about issues that are clearly medical. but they do then they all form a opinion about the child that is impalsive. Please some one educate these teachers,. Wheres rain shes good at this subject. ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:33 PM |
| Yeah, I find there's prejudice. My son has become isolated due to this type of thing. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:35 PM |
| They all do and then the catch it at all ends Home, the school ,peres. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 5:14 PM |
| I know how you feel, ards are the toughest things to get through sometimes. And I have been through this same thing as far as the education of teachers for children who have disabilities and or ADHD. It really is the school districts and their use of funds. They have seminars for teachers to help educate them on many different issues. I was luck with my daughter, she was well behaved in school, and I had wonderful teachers who were well educated in ADD that I requested for her. This is not the same exact thing but similar in enough ways to make a difference. My student who has autism had a hard time with regular classes due to the teachers not having been educated about that condition. I understand this, but it actually put the teachers in a bad spot also. The district just places these children with out any training for the teachers themselves. It worked as long as they had someone like me who came into the classroom and instructed the teacher for a few weeks, or months. Then I would leave. They cut the budget and said no aides for him this year. They don’t even realize that it was me preparing the teachers, not just aiding the student. Its politics. So I called down the resource teacher, only to learn she knew nothing about this condition either. You can not assume they know everything. So here we are with no one knowing what to do. I went to all the teachers in that grade level and told them to demand training sessions for them selves. They got one day. This was good, but not nearly enough. What they actually need in room training where they go to a class with another teacher who is teaching these children. Hands on learning. The thing with autism, and add, or adhd, is, that often a teacher who has taught a child with this, is now considered the expert. The problem is, they only know about the student that they taught, not all the children. Because they are all different. Actually Atomics advice was the best as far as writing it all down. I did this for my student last year. I typed up a book for all of his teachers explaining his behaviors, why, and what to do about it. Who says a kid cant come with a hand book. I can help you on this if you would like. No problem. This makes you feel more secure knowing his teachers have his information. I know how you feel talking in an ard. Some are better than others. Some people are too negative, without reason. Making a hand book that explains ADD, ADHD, can greatly help his education. I also believe no behaviors should be looked over as, well, he is add, or adhd. Behaviors should be looked at, and a plan improvised to curb the bad ones and instill the good ones. Reward systems along with discipline. Yes, he is impulsive and touching the other kids, so what are their suggestions for that. What have they decided to do to help his behavior? Anything? We see that many times, they complain to the parent about behavior, but are doing nothing to change it. It is a road you and the teachers travel together. Sometimes you have to pull them on the road with you. This is frustrating, because it should be the other way around, they should have the answers for you. But, unfortunately that is not always true. The main point here is the little one, his education, and his behavior. Yes, Layne, sometimes you have to teach the teacher. Sometimes you don’t. Do you have an ard coming up, or did you just have one? ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 5:33 PM |
| we just had one. and everyone was good our principal is wonderful and they have a new special ed director he is good. Its jut the 6th grade teacher. she made comments about his touching and poking then he bugs the others. i just told her these where clasic adhd simptoms. She just said well yes thats true. This teacher is on the commitee that heads up the student interventions in the school I would think she could identifiy adhd simptoms. They want to try and intragrate michael to regular classroom and I dont see this happening. Then she said michael never takes responsabilty and Im thinking another classic simptom. The way this is such a epidemic in our country why are they not educated. we are starting a scale on behaior like the ones that are in his IEP the ones that show his progress in math and other areas. I suggested he keep the graph on behaviors mybe target 2 of them. keeping hands to himself and kind words. then the principal suggetsed he do it on the computer because of the auditory processing problems he has. he'll get the hands on he needs to learn. That way it isnt childish like the younger behavior modification technecks sp. i just let the one teacher get to me and I usally dont do that anymore. But Im working now and feeling like I dont have control like i did. Changes are being made in the house and its hard on the adhd too. I know you know that. ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 5:53 PM |
http://www.education-world.com/a
_issues/issues148c.shtml
This
could be good info to print out for his teachers. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 4:59 PM |
| RAIN..... you will never believe this.... Mike came home and said the school is holding a assembly on bullying at school. Skeet and I had a long talk about concerns about it at mikes last IEP meeting. I guess they respect us more then we knew. Our opinion I mean, Im so happy about this as it has been such a concern. Thanks for all your advice...YOUR THE BEST! ↑ |
| Name: rain | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 6:11 PM |
Oh My Gosh! I am so excited. Look what you did. You changed the whole school! You made a difference in so many lives. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!
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| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 6:20 PM |
| Im grinning from ear to ear.:) ↑ |
| Name: jamberrt | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 7:23 PM |
| Layne, you're writing my story. I too feel that I've accepted my daughter's ADHD. Her issues are complicated because her birthmom drank and so she has "mild" alcohol issues that are worsened because she has no physical features - so the teachers don't consider it valid. I attended a fetal alcohol conference last May and wrote an essay to the teachers about her disabilities and that puberty were going to make them worse. All I got from the teacher was, I read it...let's move on. My daughter is embarassed talking about meds and how we deal with the issues if we forget to take them in the morning...then she got detention one day for that reason when I had told the teacher what her behaviour would look like and would she please call me ASAP and the office has meds if we forget...nope. Detention. She pays for things that just aren't her fault. My heart breaks for her and I feel like I work SO hard to make it right. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 11:00 PM |
| Jambert does your daughter have a IEP Individual education plan. Michael has had one since he was in 1st grade. We have a IEP every year to deside what interventions will be made for michaels Education. My husband and i have says as to what choices are made. the last meeting lasted 1 1/2 hours. they usaulydont take that long but we where concerned about bullyingissues at school and mike being blamed. Thats why i was upset. But now it apears that the school is having a meeting with the whole school on the issue. This is such a step forward because my son as other behavior issue children are targets with the other kids and they get blamed for many things that they shouldnt be. But back to the IEP. Thats where our control lies. If the school doesnt comply with the IEP Its illegal. The state also occomodates the cost for the child. In other words the school gets a nice check. So its our job to be sure its is going towards michaels education. Itreally isnt as complicated as it sounds and a good school will help you though this. I hope i have helped you. ↑ |
| Name: jamberrt | Date: Oct 17th, 2006 9:05 PM |
| Layne, thanks for the info, however, I'm in Canada and we had plans when she was in Grade 2-4 so that there was a part time aid in the class room and the teacher could spend more time with her. After Grade 4, they are considered to be OUT of the early years and when they re-examined the plan, they felt she was doing well enough that she didn't require help. But starting Grade 7 has been really terrible...she's struggling and nobody's listening to me. I've left several messages for the teacher so I'm going to move on to the guidance counsellor. Funding here is a joke too. ↑ |
| Name: taybry | Date: Oct 18th, 2006 9:26 PM |
| I know exactly how you feel. My sister is a teacher, and she sees my daughter maybe 3 times a year, when I mentioned I was having her try meds, she flipped out. said I was just disorganized and lacked any discipline in my house..... Well it comes out that I have the same problem. If people don't live with it, work with it or know anything they assume its a cop out. I work at my kids school so I can be aware of things going on. But getting there on time is such a struggle it makes me want to quit every day because I have to follow my daugher around like a shadow every morning just to get there and then we are both stressed out. I would suggest you print up information or have his pysch give some information to the teachers so they can be better informed. Add/adhd presents itself so different from child to child, and unfortantly most teachers dont' know who to handle it. Some don't care. I was able to choose my daughters teacher, sometimes that helps when personalitys click together. ↑ |
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