| Name: Meagan | Date: Dec 13th, 2011 3:53 AM |
| Oh my gosh! You sound like me! Some things are different but I basically coexist with my husband. We started seeing a counselor and she advised me to do it because when we try to do more than that we are seeking divorce. I feel like almost everything he does now is so different than the behavior of the man I married and he is desperate to be away from me as much as humanly possible. He rarely wants to have sex and he says he is too tired but mostly that I bitch too much. But I bitch and nag because i am unhappy and sexually frustrated and seriously hating myself for wanting to have an affair just for some intimacy. I try to voice this to him but it just angers him and we are back to fighting again. Then we'll reconcile and he'll say he does love me and wants to make it work but he never follows through with any initiative. A trip, a romantic evening, a dinner----anything!!!!! And when I try to make plans he acts annoyed because deep down he really wants to avoid me, Stuck! Trapped! We have 2 small children and i stick around for them and for the hope that he will some day snap out of this alternate person and go back to the man i fell in love with and I can lighten up and finally have stability and relax but how long should i wait? Should i seek intimacy outside of marriage just to passify myself and atleast we could get along better while coexisting and I wont stay angry at him?? ↑ |
| Name: Bryan | Date: Dec 17th, 2011 12:21 PM |
| I am not attracted to my wife both physically andpersonally......i feel its me but she places me in a position of where i make things convient for her.... ↑ |
| Name: moe | Date: Dec 21st, 2011 9:33 PM |
The question you should be asking is how to forge areas of commonality. it is clear that the model you and your husband have adopted is not working.
I help couples with developing an interactive model rather than a parrallel one ↑ |
| Name: ayohyem | Date: Jan 19th, 2012 1:41 AM |
I have been married for 25 years. I have 2 great kids, 17 and 19.
My husband isn't "bad" he just is the wrong person for me. I've known that for a long time, but somehow the kids being little and needing me I managed to convince myself that it was ok.
They're older one in college the other one on his way and now there is no one.
I married him to impress everyone else. He was everything I thought i wanted and I recognized very early on that he wasn't. My husband is a nice person, caring person, he just isn't emotional or physical.
I come from a Mediterranean background where people yelled, screamed fought then hugged kissed and made up. Hw comes from a german/mutt (his words not mine) background very reserved. I thought that was sooooo civilized and wanted it. Now I've got it and I'm miserable.
I got all the affection from my kids when they were little and it didn't matter now that my kids are leaving. OMG !!!
He has never said he loved me, I don't think he has ever been passionately or wildly in love with me. When people talk about the "passion" being gone, well we've never had it.
Now we haven't touched, had sex for almost 4 years. If I approach him or hold his hand or cuddle up to him in bed he is fine with it, but he never initiates it.
I know what you're thinking that "he is having an affair". He is not, I assure you. I wish he was that would at least be a reason to leave him.
He is just asexual!!!!
I married him because I'm an only child and he is one of 5. None are married or in a relationship.
Their father just died they never even hugged each other.
NONE of them touch each other!!! It is the weirdest thing. They don't cry, they are NEVER very happy. They hate parties, family get togethers. They hate Christmas, we no longer exchange presents, we don't exchange presents for birthdays etc. Their logic is that we are older and established and we don't really "need" anything. I can't get through to them that it's not about "needing" it's just wanting to give to someone you care for. THey just don't get it.
My husband is the best of them, but still. He tries or I should say tried and the older he gets the more like them he becomes.
I am 53 and my husband is 55, We could potentially be together for another 25 years.
His family lives well into their 80's and 90's mine dies early in their early 60's. I can only hope to follow suit. I cannot imagine having to be with him for another 25-30 years!
Yet I don't want to die early, and I know I won't leave him. Can't really for may reasons, mostly my insecurities and background .
BTW, none of these categories are the right one, ah well!! ↓ ↑ |
| Name: Anna | Date: Jan 23rd, 2012 9:17 PM |
I know how your feeling , I ve been married for 20 yrs and I can't wait until my kids are grown 4 yrs togo .. And I'm
leave ..I need to breath again , so tried of living a lie , crazy thing is I knew this was a mistake when I standing there in front of the preacher, but I didn't say a thing cause he looked so happy
It makes me sick to my stomach how he puts everyone first me last .. It makes me sick how I slave over him and he doesn't appreciate nothing I do .. I'm so unhappy that my soul hurts .. Just 4 more years I keep thing myself ... Please god make these years go fast ..... ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Feb 17th, 2012 4:14 AM |
| Try Marital Counselling. And treat your selection of a counsellor like you would your brain surgeon--there are a lot of counsellors who are not in the business to help, but to make money. At the sessions, really, really be honest about your needs and feelings--it will not work otherwise. Reading what you wrote, I know that you are reaching out because you still love him and want things to work. Sometimes you cannot rely on someone else to make you happy. Try to take some time rediscovering yourself, how awesome you are, and how much you love yourself. You can do this because you can do anything. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: thick | Date: Feb 24th, 2012 5:59 PM |
| well im in the same situation but been married 15yrs..been unhappy for more than 10..only reason im here is because of our son..but i plan to make my mood soon..this is my 4th marriage. i always have felt i will never be unhappy with any one for any reason, but this time due to my son it is differnet. so i feel that if you are not happy you need to do what will make u happy. but make sure this is really what you want..did u think about a seperation first? tht is what i want to try in my marriage but he wont go. so im stuck for now.but in time something will give. ↑ |
| Name: Gollum | Date: Mar 5th, 2012 12:44 AM |
| I'm also in a situation like many here, my wife is a workaholic and people pleaser at the total expense of our marriage and family. I've been guilt ridden and considered leaving the past few monthes. Today I got the balls to make the decision to tell her it either changes or I leave. The decision was in large part to the many responses here. I think a person has a very real obligation to do everything they can to work things out, but there's no obligation to be miserable for the rest of your life just because you don't want to rock the boat, or because you're scared. ↑ |
| Name: K.B. | Date: Mar 8th, 2012 6:27 AM |
| you only live once life is to short to be miserable. do what it is you think is best for you because you have to live with your decision. ↑ |
| Name: Pam | Date: Mar 14th, 2012 1:26 AM |
| Wow, unbelievable how many of us share the same story. I'v e been doinf 13 year sentence I guess because I want to do the right thing. It is a commitment, I love the comparison to most of our jobs. I'm also staying for my 11 year old, I did resolve to never argue in front of him again. I'm just contently hanging on, waiting for my great escape. Once my son is older, stronger, and more independent if things haven't changed I'm out. I'm going to try to put forth more effort to make things work but I'm not going to grow old like this. ↑ |
| Name: Kk | Date: Mar 19th, 2012 12:44 AM |
| Is this site still active? ↑ |
| Name: marcia | Date: Mar 20th, 2012 6:11 PM |
| I know im not in love with my husband. ↑ |
| Name: SickNtired | Date: Mar 27th, 2012 8:27 PM |
Geez where do I even start? I'm young, attractive mother of two beautiful little girls. I stay home and cook, clean, never cheated on my husband whom I have known since I was 19. But when do I finally say enough is enough?
He is a hard worker and the bread provider, I understand his job is difficult and in this economy, I can only imagine the stress he has been placed under. However, he isn;t a good husband.
Let me further explain myself,.. he completely brushes of my feelings if something he did disrespected me by stating I'm over sensitive. He picks fights with me over the dumbest things. And I'm just ready to throw my hands up. It's almost as if , why would I bother trying anymore? He neglects me, disregards me completely and never has anything good to say about me. He never takes time away from his video games to relate to me. I'm usually upstairs with my kids and he is down stairs playing his games.
I do not ask for too much, however I am unconsidered , or placed down if i attempt to have any personal space for myself...I'm lazy in his opinion.
I take my kids to dance, homework, grocery shop, laundry, house, cook, bathing and god knows what other extra things come up.. I dont drink, i have only been to a bar (with him) on two occasions in the last five years where as he, goes at least once a week..
I find him inconsiderate in the relationship and I just wish he saw what he has taken granted. But..I'm too tired to keep trying to make this marraige work when i know it's not me that's sinking it. I compromised so much for him, I am only 32.. and I live like I'm 67...
Now im wondering about a separation, i would like to live now and this has been nothing short of a prison term and a one sided street, and i know im not selfish, because.. I want to do this for me and my own happiness. I do not have anyone else that has caught my attention,..in fact.. my husband pretty much scarred me for life. I dont want another relationship because of everything i went through and sacrificed, . ↑ |
| Name: Specialk | Date: May 7th, 2012 5:24 PM |
| I know how u feel we have five kids and three grand kids together but don't know what to do ↑ |
| Name: Specialk | Date: May 7th, 2012 5:46 PM |
I feel so alone he hasn't touched me in six
Months only 39yeArs old I know it's not his job to make me happy but when he said Ido he promised to help with that I've tried everything but he won't talk or try what do I do??????? ↑ |
| Name: Specialk | Date: May 7th, 2012 7:12 PM |
| The last three dates we've had we're iniciatied by me so I go to ask him today for a date on Friday .....ummm I don't know I guess whatever it's only Monday is my response so I guess I'll go out on my own does he want me to go out a d find my own intimacy? ↑ |
| Name: Specialk | Date: May 7th, 2012 7:15 PM |
| Oh and Jim r u married? Wtf ↑ |
| Name: deedie | Date: Jun 5th, 2012 1:24 AM |
| That's how I feel about my marriage and I'm confuse and dont no what to do . ↑ |
| Name: Keeley | Date: Jun 20th, 2012 10:37 PM |
| So did stephanie leave or stay? ↑ |
| Name: omega | Date: Jun 21st, 2012 3:51 AM |
| Go on a Vacation to florida by yourself and see how you feel after a few days by yourself. ↑ |
| Name: Nitabug | Date: Jun 30th, 2012 6:35 AM |
| I'm not happy at all in my marriage...I weighed out my thought between my husband and a "friend"....my "friend" is not boyfriend "material and my husband is a great provider...I'm not leaving him for another man, I'm leaving him for "peace" and happiness. ↑ |
| Name: bandy | Date: Jul 13th, 2012 4:29 PM |
| I don't know anything about magic or how he does it, but the [email protected] is on the top of my personal list of "go-to people" when I find myself in a quandry or a dissapointment regarding my love life. That is the most important part of my life, in my opinion, and I was really going through a tough time with my wife of 23 years. It was really rough-going for several years before I finally got the kind of help I needed. I never would have thought I would have gone to a necromancer, but [email protected] spell casting service is more than just about "spells": He is a caring, deeply evolved human being with great sensitivity, and if it were not for him, I am totally certain my wife and I would be each other's "ex" on this very day. I love this spell casting helper service for turning my life around! ↑ |
| Name: #1 love expert | Date: Jul 27th, 2012 1:28 AM |
| Well, you should talk to him. Then you two should plan a night alone together. Maybe go to the movies, or go out to dinner. Also of you two have any kids, remind him that your love has to be connected to raise your kids. After you two spend your night together, you should "get it going" in bed. I also suggest that you shop at Macy's for a new bra, or attractive night gown. Hope that helps. Any questions, just text me at 281-306-4019. ↑ |
| Name: kenivrow | Date: Sep 7th, 2012 2:24 PM |
| Hi views, I have a boyfriend I just met late in May 2012. I love him a lot, da only challenge was that he is currently unemployed. it was [email protected] that help me get him a job. ↑ |
| Name: powr2see | Date: Sep 16th, 2012 12:35 AM |
| Sometimes I wish i had someone else. Been unhappy for years. Hate to be home with him... ↑ |
| Name: Bizz | Date: Oct 2nd, 2012 5:48 PM |
| First Steph be honest with yourself, is it something or someone you see that may be pushing you to want to end it? If not, are you taking an active role in asking for what you want? Tell him upfront what you want and or do it yourself. Hug him, plan a trip or hobby together. Tell him "Honey Look!, you need to be in this bed with me, we can buy a bigger bed if we need to!' He may be sitting back thinking the same way you are, but you won't know till you make it plain. ↑ |
| Name: Joey | Date: Oct 6th, 2012 3:37 PM |
| I dont love my wife anymore i dont want to be married to her. She doesn't back me up on any of my projects (I'm In my own business) She is never supportive and she doesn't EVER want to have sex. All I do is support my kids and love them to death. But i'm losing it at home ( i'm bitter) i need out what is the esaiset way to say good bye? ↑ |
| Name: tara | Date: Oct 25th, 2012 2:57 AM |
| i am in the same sinking boat but i am so scared to be alone . i am the only child 30 yrs old and my father passed on thanksgiving he was my best friend. my boyfriend of 4 years makes me beg for a kiss and we never make love. i inhereted my fathers home but my boyfriend thinks its his new home that he can remodel. he lies, goes out all the time without me and all i can tell you is you should run and so should i. happiness is not found in another person. only inside yourself if your not happy than its time to be. start over its ok. ↑ |
| Name: majdbarg | Date: Nov 9th, 2012 4:39 AM |
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| Name: Esther | Date: Dec 9th, 2012 3:06 AM |
| I just got remarried... He was such a good guy at the beginning and now he doesn't like to do nothing with me or my kids..I have one kid with him and two kids with my first husband.. Sometimes i feel like he doesn't care for my two other kids .All he wants to do is Smoke pot and drink and play video games... He just like to do stuff with me he doesn't even give sex like he used too...His 27 and I'm 23.. I just can't take this anymore.... ↑ |
| Name: julie | Date: Dec 24th, 2012 2:47 AM |
| i am married right now but i am in love with someone else and i want to marry the other person without no one knowing and want to know on how to go about that ↑ |
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