ok, so this will officially be my first "whining" post, sort of:
Hubby and I used to go clubbing every week, and since i've been pregnant, we havent. He's been whining about it and when i tell him ok go...he doesnt. He says he wouldnt enjoy himself because he'd be thinking about his pregnant wife and son alone at home.
Ok, here's my whining. He went tonight...and deep down i didnt want him to, but i lied and said it was OK. I already had a good cry, dont know if it's the hormones, cause it's not really a good reason to cry, i know. It's not that i wanted to go too, well i did, but i guess i was feeling bad because he ACTUALLY went and i can't believe it. It's the first time he ever goes without me, and i got sad.
Should i have kept him from going? He's a great man and i trust him, but i dont want him to get used to it and im gonna be home alone all the time.
So...Just a question...do u girls let ur hubbies go out? I mean like to play pool, or even a club? I know alot of girls who don't see a problem with it, and their husbands go to strip clubs even. Mine doesn't, i just dont think a married man (well, not officially married) belongs at clubs by himself, without his wife. Why did he go tonight!!!!!???? How come his conscience didnt stop him!!!! Ughh, now im getting mad..... ↓
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| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 5:38 AM |
| well mine is in Germany and i tell him all the time to go out and have fun with the guys, because i didn't want him to focus on missing me too much,and i figured that he would probably never be there a gain so go have fun.... but he always tells me its not fun with out you, and im like ohh please you were able to have fun before i came along, be he always gives me the same load of crap, when i know that part of him wants to go. but when i say im going out with a few friends to go out to dinner...and thats it, he gets all mopey and makes a big deal about me getting some fresh air ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 6:18 AM |
| i agree with both of you, i feel the same way. I want him to enjoy himself, but at the same time, i dont want him to go. I know that all this time he's been home, he's been miserable. But he'd ask me joking around and then take it back, so today i felt so bad cause he was getting all dressed up and was so happy to finally get out. He called me right now though, said he wishes i was with him...that it's boring and cant wait to get out of there (they went in a friend's truck). Oh well, boys will be boys i guess. There's no changing them, well not totally. ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 7:04 AM |
| haha lol thats exactly what chris says lol ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 11:00 AM |
| Yeah; my fiancé goes out sometimes still. I'm 28-weeks-pregnant myself, and don't have that urge to go out anymore. But Mark still does. He's 32 so doesn't enjoy clubbing anymore, but he does go to pubs with his mates occasionally, or bowling with his workmates, and off mountain climbing, plus he travels with work to Hong Kong, India, Belgium etc. I don't have a problem with it ... But even if I did, I wouldn't try to stop him. It'll only cause resentment. Relationships need space as well as togetherness. ↑ |
| Name: yo.quiero.a.mi.familia | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 2:44 PM |
dino went out one time when i was pregnant and thats it. since we moved into our home he hasnt went out at all. dino says he has done all he has wanted in life he has traveled to many places and went to bars and clubs alot. he told me when he decides to have children is the day he decided to start a whole new chapter in his life. we dont go anywhere without eachother. dang dino cant even stay up past 10pm so i dont think he would even make it to a bar or club. i would just rather stay at home also.
but this is our borring ol life and we are happy with being just borring. tonight we are having family and some friends over for a cajun boil so that should be fun. ↑ |
| Name: Logan | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 2:50 PM |
Hi Vanessa I just read your post, I trust my husband and once in a while I let him go out with his friends, he always tells me I am welcome but I rather give him his space, nothing wrong with that, they need that also.
Now the day that he does brake that trust he is out the door!!!
I believe if I man is gonna cheat no matter what they will find the way.
I am not afraid or sad by letting him go out a few hrs.
Now strip clubs are out of the question!! If he wants to see some boobs he can see mine!!! :o) ha ha ha ha ↑ |
| Name: Candiecane22704 | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 5:34 PM |
My hubby honestly never goes out. He works and comes home ans pends time with the family. He tells me all the time that he just doent's want to go out. Yet if he wants to go get cigarettes or soemthing to eat for us. I know that that is the time he watns alone.
I'm the complete opposite though. I'm a SAHM and I believe I should be able to go out with a friend or whatever for like an hour to just get away from the hubby and kid and mom. He gets mad at me because he says I don't deserve it some of the time. but....I get cabin fever. So most of the time when he comes home we opt. to go out to eat orsoemthing just to get me out of the house. I try to let him go out but he just tells me no. There have been many fights over it. ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 8:40 PM |
birseis, i agree with you. I mean, he does go play pool with friends once in a while, i have no problem with that. It's clubs i dont want him to go alone, but ur right. stopping them would create resentment.
and cindy, that's why i guess i was ok with him going. I do trust him, and i also believe if a guy is gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat no matter where he is.
and see, ive been wanting to go out too, with my sister, so we'll probably go out this weekend and watch knocked up, what a perfect occassion, hehe. and candiecane, i know what it feels like, its like being locked up when u dont leave the house for a while. We cant even go outside cause its too damn hot!! Good thing i go to school, so at least i get a bit of a distraction. ↑ |
| Name: Daisy-UK | Date: Jun 15th, 2007 10:50 PM |
Hey girl, how are you? I understand what you're saying. My husband has some close friends and goes out on occasion with them for a guys gathering. These are his childhood friends and had been away for nearly 4 years so they are happy to get back to the guys days. There aren't many because of jobs and such, but it would be nice to go, they both have girlfriends so I wouldn't be the only female there.
I think if it were more often, I would be uspset, but we all need our time apart. You have so many raging hormones at the moment, you may feel differently at another time.
Talk to your hubby and let him know how you feel, could be he's feeling guilty about going out with out you ↑ |
| Name: NoahsMama06 | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 12:19 AM |
| Brian doesn't go out. He goes to work and he comes home. If he wanted to go out with friends, I would trust him... he's never given me a reason not to. But he works so much that he really has no desire to go out. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 4:39 AM |
| gary goes out about twice a month with his friends and brothers. I can say that if I let him go out more often he would. Once in a while he get carried away and will try to go out every week for a few weeks in a row and then I have to check his ass and comes back to reality. He knows that he has to be home directly after hte bar is closed. I don't care where he is in the city if he steps in the house 30 seconds past 2:45am he is assured some drama from me. I don't ahve a problem with him going out. I trust him, plus if he was being sneaky I know way too many people for him to get away with it for long :) We used to go to bars together, but in generally ended in an arguement of some sort so we don't do it much anymore. I am a bit more free and chatty then he is, so it sometimes upsets him, and he is pretty good looking and chicks hit on him all the time. So if a chick does it in my face then again there is drama. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 4:42 AM |
| Also an old lady once told me a long time ago when I used to cut hair to "never make them stop going to poker night, There will be a day when you just want them out of you hair far a damn bit of peace and quiet!" She had been married for 55yrs. She told me that even after "poker night" disbanned she would still make her husband leave the house for 3hrs once a week. So I guess while it sucks now we will one day be glad that we gave our men a bit of space. ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Jun 16th, 2007 2:58 PM |
hehe jillw, my mom says the same thing. One day you're gonna want them to leave the house. My hubby's a truck driver so he's gone about 4 days a week most of the time. There are times of course when he takes a week off. I guess with this baby coming he's starting to go every single week and i get a little lonely sometimes.
I know he wouldnt get away with cheating, not that he ever would, but IF he ever tried, man he's such a terrible liar....there's NO WAY i wouldnt find out. Men. MOst of em suck at telling lies or making up stories, i think us women are alot more craftier with story-making-up (?). LOL It just comes naturally to us, our stories always flow and make complete sense. Sometimes, even i believe myself, hehe ↑ |
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