If you have time to read this, I thought it was very sweet. Let me know what you think.
Being a Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions
that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.
"Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone
neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will
heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound
so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper
without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if
anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and
stylish suit and think
that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will
reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or
her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by
motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into
an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet
smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to k eep from running
home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer
be routine.
That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather
than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma.
That right there, in
the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed
against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that
restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never
feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once
she has a child.
That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring,
but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her
own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will
become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, and not in
the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is
careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his
child.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again
for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women
throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk
driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your
child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching
the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed
in my eyes.
You'll never regret it," I finally say.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and
offered a silent
prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere
mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of
callings. ↓
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| Name: nicole jones1 | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 5:26 PM |
| That is so wonderful. I've read it before, but it actually made me cry this time. I'm going to call Paul at work and read it to him. ↑ |
| Name: Thismakes2 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 12:55 AM |
| I've never read that before. It made me tear up a little too. :) ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 1:20 AM |
| Oh my God, Im so glad im a mother!! I love my son so much, now i have to go and hug him and kiss him, even though he hates it!! ↑ |
| Name: Angelcecilia2 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:17 AM |
| That's awesome....and it made me cry too. As a woman on her way to being a mom for the first time, I just wonder if this is what my mom thought when I told her I wanted to be a mom... I'm sure it is....and I'm sure it will be what I think when my little girl makes this decision as well.. ↑ |
| Name: connie | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:25 AM |
| Wow, especialy after today I feel even more closer to the reading. Thank you. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:22 PM |
| I am such a big cry baby. I am glad that my work is never busy because people would be like what the heck is wrong with this lady LOL. That was beautiful. My son is 9 and we still have the bath room delima. I make him peek in to be sure that no one is in there then I stand infront of the door. If more then 30 sec have passed I open it and say are you ok in there. He hates it, but public restrooms scare me. ↑ |
| Name: Zoe2104 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 5:44 PM |
| OMG - what a tear jerker! Thanks for sharing that, it's lovely! ↑ |
| Name: momo | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 6:22 PM |
OMG....I am crying....Well okay as long as i am not the only one...Everything is so true...I started crying more at McDonalds...I took my four year old to a place once and he had to use the mens rest room...but it was a locker room and everthing...When he came out so confidently..I asked him if he even went...He is so small he can barley get on the toilet w/o a stool..And he said yes mommy I went all by myself...now you go by yourself....Ah I cried in the middle of the place
Thank you so much for postin it ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 6:56 PM |
| DAMN IT...I was doing so well and then bam I read,"You'll never regret it" and I cried. Okay I am going to have to go post this to everyone that I know...Be right back. ↑ |
| Name: tylersmom06 | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 3:10 AM |
| Name: Ayame | Date: Oct 14th, 2006 9:33 PM |
| I am so emotional, I had my own little tears when I read that... how sweet. ↑ |
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