To niccolla? hopefully this will make you happy. this is a newer post so you wont have to keep complaining...unfortunately women keep miscarrying and want to talk about it and know whats going on/what to expect. Now for the ones who are interested i will share my story.(sorry Graphic) i am willing to talk about everything. it helps me "heal" Knowing im not the only one...
MY STORY: My husband and i decided we would like to get pregnant. i quit smoking and everything. lol. trying to make sure everything we did was right. we tried for 4 months and finally got preggers. we were elated. Everything was fine. At 10 weeks i got a kidney infection and got to see our baby and hear his heartbeat for the first time. we fell in love. doctors said everything was fine. after a few weeks i set up a prenatal appointment, it was 1 week away on a monday. while at work on thursday my water broke. i was praying i had just peed my pants, but i knew i had just used the restroom. i prayed and cried all the way to the hospital. when i got there they tested the fluid and it was amniotic fluid. my husband arrived minuites later. the doctor came in and told us we were miscarrying. they then did an ultrasound. a beautiful strong heartbeat came on the screen. the doctors admitted me because they thought the sac might seal back up with bedrest. every day for a week ultrasounds with a heartbeat and movement. (i still keep copies of the ultrasound). there was no pain or blood.unfortunately no fluid ever built back up.They offered many times to end the pregnancy, but my husband and i refused to stop his little heart.He had been fighting to live for a week. Friday morning i woke up and knew something had happened. i asked them to check for the heartbeat and they didnt find it. The doctor i had was an a##hole and very insensitive. my husband couldve killed him. he told me "were going to get this done today.its about time, huh" they place a labor inducing drug on my cervix. i started bleeding heavily and got a fever. i started puking everywhere. it was horrible. after about 5 hours of puking up bile, having a fever, and bleeding everywhere, i felt like i had to go to the bathroom. i sat on the toilet at about 2 oclock and knew something was coming. i put my hand down and caught my son. he was perfect in every way. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and built like his daddy (lol). my husband just kept crying. he couldnt look. eventually the nurse came in and took him.cramping,fever, and vomiting immediately stopped. about 2 hours later i delivered the placenta, which my husband accidentally got a good look at. (lol) i stayed for a few more hours and was released.
I know what it is like, to not have someone to talk to. I forced my husband to talk about him. and it turns out it was just as heartbreaking for him. men dont really know what to say so they just shut up.we named him AIDEN. it means little fire or little fighter. i think it is fitting....we still talk about him.and we believe that we will get him back when the big man thinks we are ready...
But like i said before i am willing to talk about all aspects. it has helped me heal so much... Thank you for reading and hope all is well in your neck of the woods.... ↓
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