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OK, this is my first pregnancy so I'm really looking for any advice I can get here - I'm about 5 months pregnant now and have gained a little less than 15 pounds - most of that being in my breasts. Before getting pregnant, I was thin and had a small B-cup. At the beginning of the pregnancy (before my belly actually started growing), my breasts increased rapidly from small B to large D. My husband was loving it. He seemed more attracted to me and was more inclined to cuddle and be physical. Now that my tummy has started to grow and I have a very noticable bumb, he has backed off A LOT. I feel as though he is less attracted to me now that I am growing not just in my chest - and my clothes are tighter. However, this could also be due to my crazy hormones and emotions. I am obviously going to talk to him about it, I just need to get my emotions in check before I do - I tend to cry at the drop of a hat anymore. So... I was just curious if any of your husbands/fiances/boyfriends acted similar during your first pregnancy or any of your pregnancies. Could it be that he is just scared that any physical activity could hurt the baby? It's hard to tell what is going through a male mind and I just wanted to know if any of you had had a similar experience and/or conversation with your significant others. Sorry for such a long post - just needed some advice and emotional grounding. Thanks!!!!! ↓
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| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 2:54 PM |
My husband never made me feel as if I was unattractive. With both my first and now my second pregnancy I did have terrible morning sickness all day and all night so if I wanted sex I had to be the one to make it happen since 1)throwing up isn't really attractive and 2) he didn't really know how I was feeling at the moment.
I don't think your husband finds you unattrative however it definately should be brought to his attention that he is making you feel this way. It could be that now that you are showing your pregnancy has become more real. Or he might be afraid he might hurt you or the baby. I have a feeling it's just the pressure adn stress that comes along with having a baby for the first time. ↑ |
| Name: Angela1 | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 3:47 PM |
| My husband never made me feel unatractive either. But I made myself feel unattractive. One thing about my husband though is he was kinda freaked out about the whole belly thing. Dont get me wrong he thought it was beautiful. But he was freaked out when it came to intamacy. He really didnt like to have sex much cause I had kid up there is how he put it. But I went shopping and got cute clothes and it made me feel a lot better, And it helped me a lot when I actually looked pregnant and not just fat. For me that was about 5 months. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 3:53 PM |
| Angela1 is right, go out and get yourself some really cute maternity clothes that make you feel attractive. The clothes that are out there now are so much cuter then they were when I was pregnant with my first. I too felt unattractive when I started showing because it doesn't really look like your pregnant, it looks more like you've gained weight. But your belly will eventually round out and everyone else will know as well.. ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 5:24 PM |
| Thanks for the replies and advice. First, just to clarify because I don't want to convey my husband as a mean guy, he wasn't saying or doing anything to intentionally make me feel bad about myself. It was just his decline in physical interest and lack of communication as to why, that was making me do this to myself. I talked to him about it and as he put it, he is affraid of "squishing" the baby. He also tells me that apparently in the middle of the night he will roll me around to a new position if he wakes up and feels I'm sleeping in a way that is squishing the baby. I'm such a heavy sleeper that I didn't even know! haha. He's just freaked out because this is our first and he doesn't want to do anything wrong. Anyways, it was good to hear that other people felt unattractive too right at the stage of looking fat but not pregnant. Thanks. ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 5:26 PM |
| Oh, and he's also worried that my low self image right now isn't good for the baby, so we're going shopping for new clothes tomorrow! :) ↑ |
| Name: Livy | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 6:37 PM |
Hi Melmoney,
It might help to share some information with your husband about how safe your abby relly is cushioned inside of you so he can rest assured that your abby will be fine. Also, I totally agree that you should go get cute maternity clothes (regular clothes just made me feel fat, but some maternity clothes are super cute!). Get your hair done at a salon or something and just remind yourself how many sexy pregnant women ther are and that you are one of them! Chances are once you feel better about your self image your husband won't be as resistant to physical intimacy. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 8:36 PM |
You can assure your husband that he won't hurt the baby.
At 4 month they recommend you not lying on your back even for sex because the weight of your uterus actually puts pressure on your blood vessels. While sleeping I actually sleep with a pillow between my legs (to get some relief from the pain that I have in my hip area), one by my back (this help that I don't roll over on my back), one that I have that I hug (lay my stomach on), and of course one for my head.
Good luck shopping, as mentioned before there are so many cute maternity clothes out there. I just wish I had the money to go crazy. ↑ |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Jul 27th, 2006 12:03 AM |
| My husband started backing off alot right from the start, I kept asking him if he thought I was less attractive all of a sudden or what and was getting pretty mad until one day I just sat him down and said your not leaving until you tell me why your not very sexual anymore and he said it was because he didnt feel comfortable having sex because he felt like he would hurt the baby.....maybe your husband is going through the same thing...guys dont understand our bodies like we do....best of luck ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Jul 27th, 2006 1:52 AM |
| I worry about the same thing. I'm 19 weeks along but luckily I'm not showing yet so I don't know what my fiance's reaction will be. I've gained about 8 lbs. so far and it's gone in my boobs and my butt, so of course he's happy. There's been no change in his sexual appetitie, but my libido hs gone down so much that I have to be the on e to start things like Ethansmom said. I just don't think that pregnancy's sexy, and I hope he doesn't feel the same way. I mean if I was a guy I wouldn't find a big bulging beely sexually attractive. I mean it's "beautiful", but not in a "I want to tear you to pieces" sort of way. I just wonder if guys use the "I dont want to hurt the baby" line as an excuse. Maybe some of them still find us attractive, just not in a sexual way. Those are just my thought and insecurities though. ↑ |
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