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Name: mother2five
[ Original Post ]
ok so do you guys beleive your hubby should give you a present for having the baby? a pushing present???
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Name: NIKKIS | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:56 PM
yes! i better recieve somethin from john for pushing out his kid. lol no seriously i do because from the point you push out that baby it is all about the baby so there should be one last moment about you 

Name: automansgirl | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:57 PM
Absolutely! After everything you go through to bring a child into this world I don't think that a small gift is too much to ask. My hubby said he believes every father should give their wife a gift after childbirth. I think the more common idea of gift for this occasion is jewelry. And who wouldn't want to feel appreciated after having a baby? 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:58 PM
YES!! but dont think im gonna get one?? :( 

Name: Randi | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:58 PM
What if I didn't push? I still want a present... 

Name: Randi | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:59 PM
My husband forgets my birthday I'm not going to hold him to a pushing present lol 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 7:59 PM
well i hope he gets me something, but im picky on jewelry, so he just avoids the whole thing lol 


Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:00 PM
lol randi! 

Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:00 PM
well i hinted to my hubby w/ emilee that i wanted a pushing present.......after hinting and him not getting the point i came out and said it. I was thinking jewlrey, boy were we thinking wrong, you will not beleive what he got me..........................
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a
stupid pad that you put on your chair to massage your back, what am i 80?!?!?!! lol, he was so cluless. 

Name: automansgirl | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:01 PM
Tell him to get you a massage. Then if you bug him about it enough he might even get you one while you're still preggers! 

Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:02 PM
oh yeah he said it's so i dont always have to rub your back....i was like yeah well im not carrying a child anymore i don't need my back rubbed.....guess where the dam thing is now.....in his closet 

Name: automansgirl | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:04 PM
lol m2 5! I'm so sorry! Men are never really quite on the same page as us. My hubby always tells me that no matter what tell him exactly what I want! He's not a mind reader. I had to learn the hard way before he informed me of this little secret. They actually want you to tell them, and even though it's not as much fun cause it really isn't a suprise, at least you won't get something completely clueless! 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:05 PM
lol well thats ok, my dad got my mom a elecrtic hedge trimmer for Christmas lol she was so pissed, shes like i know i said we needed one, but not for a Christmas present, thats something that we needed to go out and buy!!! lol 

Name: Randi | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:05 PM
Hahaha I guess he thought you needed the lumbar support lol 

Name: missmara | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:28 PM
I got a gorgeous diamond 3 circle necklace for my push present with Sophie, and I know I'm getting something for this one too. I didn't ask for one though - my husband just planned it on his own:) 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:32 PM
i dont really wanna say, hey are you gonna get me something lol but i really want a present from him! 

Name: missmara | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:37 PM
I think the way Andy figured out to do it was a lady at the jewelry store where we got our wedding bands asked him if he was getting me one - I was 7 months pregnant when we got married. I told him it would be nice but that I didn't need anything but a healthy baby. ANyway - the joke became that the longer I labored and pushed, the more carats the diamonds had to be! But he already had the present at the hospital. I used it as my focal point! 

Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 8:59 PM
hahaha, zoey i just said, you know i think i deserve something for pushing out five of your children! 

Name: Lola | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 9:25 PM
Ha.

I guess Irish guys just don't give enough of a damn...

Because I certainly won't be getting one! 

Name: Karen- | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 9:51 PM
I got flowers as a "pushing present" 

Name: breemichelle | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 9:56 PM
I think so, but I'm not counting on anything, my hasband has no sympathy for me, he says I was the one that wanted to get pregnant. Now for mothers day he better do something special. 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 10:22 PM
i should start giving him hints!! lol 

Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 10:28 PM
lol, breemichelle i have a friend whos hubby is like that he actually told her to quit whining thats what har body was made for....meaning being being preggie..........as if...my hubby would have my size 6 right up is butthole! 

Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 10:30 PM
lol look at what i found lol

The push prize -- great idea or biggest scam ever?

I first heard about the trend two years ago, when my wife was entering her third trimester, and a co-worker confronted me in the hallway.

"So what are you going to get for her push prize?"
She went on to describe this new thing where husbands give their wives jewelry or another bauble to reward the trial they've just gone through.

At the time, I had never heard of a push prize -- and to be completely honest, I thought it sounded like a bunch of crap. (I'm also one of those guys who is convinced that every holiday except Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Yom Kippur and maybe Christmas was orchestrated by the greeting card companies.)

Then again, I was at a point where I really, really wanted my wife to be happy. I ended up splitting the baby, so to speak, by surprising her with a TiVo* -- which is something she wanted, but truthfully more of a communal household gift.

Last year, Poop co-founder Heather Maddan (currently on maternity leave with her second) wrote a good story about the subject. And recently, I've noticed a ton of businesses are using the phenomenon to promote their products. The jewelry companies seem to be getting especially push-y

After much thought, I'm taking an official public stance against the push prize.

I'm not saying a guy shouldn't get something nice for his wife after child birth if he wants to, I just don't think it should be an obligation. The best thing a husband can give a wife is a lifetime of appreciation and consistent help in raising the child.
I also think it's kind of weird for adults to reward good behavior or a painful experience with a present. If you get a diamond necklace for having the baby, does that mean your husband gets a pack of Life Savers every time he throws out his back mowing the lawn? (And no, I'm not saying yard work is equal to the rigors of child birth.)

Worse yet, I know how guys' minds work, and I could really easily see some dude thinking that spending $1,500 on a pair of diamond earrings gets him out of going to pre-birth classes and changing diapers and listening to a wife talk about her changing body -- all important parts of being a family. I think the push prize promotes the idea that having a baby is all about one person, instead of a shared experience.

I'm curious how other people's spouses handled this situation, and if I'm the only one opposed to this growing tradition. Feel free to share ...

(*To be fair, I have a history of horrible gift-giving. While my bad choices have almost always been secondary gifts, the list includes a coffee maker, a laundry hamper, one of those shirt folders that people use at The Gap and a gallon of Tide detergent. I vaguely recall that the last one was a joke, but I'm not 100 percent sure.) 

Name: breemichelle | Date: Apr 20th, 2007 10:31 PM
My husbands not that bad. I wish he was a little more sympathetic, but if I'm really whining then he'll be concerned and caring. 

Name: missheather | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 2:37 AM
I've never heard of a pushing present. My hubby is going to hear about this. He has, however, been pampering me a lot when he is home. He's doing all sorts of chores and I don't even have to bug him. I decided I should be pregnant more often! Maybe I better not push things with the present. 

Name: SamanthaLynn | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 2:40 AM
Ive never head of this pushing present thing either! but i like it! 

Name: Coartney | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 3:09 AM
i just want a hug right now lol that would about do it yanno lol 

Name: roseywosey | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 3:44 AM
how long till scotts there? 

Name: Coartney | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 3:50 AM
his flight should be landing in tampa which is 2 hours from here in about 10 mins. im watching his flight on delta. lol stlking him woo but then he goes to lakeland where his parents live to get the truck which is like an hour from here and then i dont know if hes staying the night or coming home or what 

Name: roseywosey | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 3:54 AM
how frustrating.. i hate waiting.. nothing pisses me off more than waiting. 

Name: Double_K | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 2:05 PM
Wow--never,ever heard of this. I think its kind of silly too---having a healthy baby is present enough! :) 

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