hi
i just came across this and decided to sign up purely for the fact that i wanted to say to you, that yes ED's are probably the loneliest illnesses that exsist and its so easy to get into that cycle of fearing being alone because you fear that if you are, you ED will take over and start to binge, because theres no one else around! but then at the same time you "hate" being around others because you are scared they will look at you while you eat. you need to realise that that is the ED taking over!!! when you sit there thinking im fat everyones looking at me eating, you are not in control of your thoughts and that time, the bulimia is, and you need to recognise when this is happening and say to yourself "NO GO AWAY, I AM NOT FAT!! THEY ARE NOT LOOKING AT ME. I AM GOING TO EAT THIS MEAL AND BE HAPPY" in other words F**K OFF BULIMIA!!!!! trust me it isnt easy, it has taken me years to be able to realise when these thoughts are taking over and that that is when i am not in control. it takes time and it takes practise but the more you do it the easier it becomes. trust me. and also, no one is perfect ok? but you have to make the most of what you've got in front of you. if you've got a boyfriend you must be doing something right? ask him to write down things he likes the most about you, it doesnt even have to be physical, it can be anything. if you're single, why dont you use the time you would have spent eating and throwing up, to go out and meet guys?! its the little things that will make such a huge huge huge difference to your life and your happiness. im not some hippy freak by the way!! ive just had so much s**t happen to me in the last 8 year. i cant even believe it has been that long, its felt like one big blur to be honest, i want my life back and im doing everything i can to get there, im only 21 and have so much to live for. if any of this has heped make you feel even a teensy bit better that im happy, i hope you will be too xoxo ↑ |
....you can talk to me. bulimia is not listening. dont give the disease the control it will only oppress you. talk to me, i am you.... but 13 years further along x ↑ |