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I am dioagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety. I have been bulimic for about two years now after highschool ended. I tried VERY hard to beat my depression and get into college and I DID, I really care about college, but my mood and depression has made me want to sleep for every day of the last three weeks. I am really far behing in my work. The thing is the farther I get behind the more I panic attack with the bulimia(has been up to 5 episodes a day lately) and the farther I get behind and the more depressed I get. And now just as things have gotten this bad my roomate is moving out because she despises me because of my disease. Thats more stress, I have to find a roomate quick or something but I really just want to be alone. Id rather no more people have the deal with my shit. But I cant afford that! I'm kind of feeling like I might die or something, or like I want to sleep forever. I just dont want to deal with it all. Foremost of the depression anxiety is the school work. Even though there is a slight chance that I may be able to catch up all of my work and talk to my instructors about it I cant stop my current level of anxiety-bulimia episodes....... WHAT CAN I DO DAMNITT. The bulimia is so stuck with me right now that I am almost convinced I NEVER want it gone! DAMNIT I want to do my work!!!@! But I cant because of the time and mind that the addiction of bulimia takes away from me, and the depression that tells me I cant and pierces my skull. I cant even talk about it to people I know, I dont want to become even more of a disgrace.I dont know what to do...... and I cant stop thinking that I CANT do anything that I might as well just give up at everything and become listless or dead. ↓
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