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Name: grandparents exausted

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i am actually the grandparent of a beautiful 5 week old grandson. wow i dont even know where to begin? my son was dating a girl 20 yrs old, they broke up got together for a few weeks and they got pregnant. i will call her mary. during my sons relationship mary wanted to get married and have a baby. this pregnancy was no accident. mary thought that if she became pregnant jay would get back together with her and fall in love with her. of course this did not happen. now comes the problem. with in 2 weeks of having the baby mary realized they were not going to be together. my son went to all her doctor appts. ultrasounds, parenting classes, etc. he was perfectly clear that they would not be a couple. aprox 2 weeks after my grandson was born she started to just leave the baby and not come back. one time she went shopping for a few hours and my son had to track her down in a bar at 200am. this is only one example she has lkeft her son for 2 weeks at a time, came back took him home and basically was back in 2 hours. my exhusband and myself have been helping jay as much as we can. my grandson has his own nursery, everything a newborn could possibly need. my ex and i have talked about the situation and both agreed that my son and his child can live with my ex and his dad. our problem is my son is so exausted he has been working for a temp agency and has missed so many days due to being up with his son all night. my son is so in love with his child and actually amazes me at how quickly he learned how to properly care for his child. the biggest problem is he does not realize that mary did not bond with her son and has no desire to care for him. our concern is that since my son is the sole caretaker with our help we are a hundred percent supporting my grandson, which is fine but i believe the childs mom is getting welfare, wic foodstamps, etc. what if the state comes after my son for child support? the state is not aware my grandson is living with his dad full time. can the state come after him for child support since they assume the mom is supporting the baby? o.m.g i could go on and on but do not want to bore anyone. any advice please????? ↓

Name: meadowbug | Date: Jul 3rd, 2011 4:05 AM

I think that you need to keep written records of how long your grandson is with his mother, and how your son is caring for him. I assume your son is taking his baby to doctor's appointments and all the things that newborns need/do? Keep a record of that too. You should be able to prove to the state that the baby is living with his father as the primary caretaker. Mary can't ask the state to make him provide support that she doesn't need..states hate people that try to "milk the system"! Prove that she's a deadbeat parent, and I think you'll do fine. Your pediatrician may be able to point you in the right direction too. I wish you all the very best. How lucky your grandson is to have such a devoted father!!! ↑

Name: grandparents exausted | Date: Jul 11th, 2011 6:58 PM

thanks so much for your response. ↑

Name: Isabelle | Date: Jul 14th, 2011 7:46 AM

Call child support services against this unfit mother, call the welfare office and let them know the grandkid is under his father's care and that he lives with the father not the mother ↑

Name: Ky | Date: Jul 16th, 2011 12:02 AM

Hey there. My name is Ky. Tomorrow, I'll be 29 weeks pregnant, and the father of the baby disappeared on me w/o a word the very next day after taking advantage of me the night before. I'm very sorry to hear what Jay is going through. Mary should've been appreciative of Jay that he is being a supportive father of his son (I'd give ANYTHING to have someone like that) and I'm very sorry to hear Mary has not been treating Jay and their son right. Jay should seek for full custody and he will be all right with all the support he has from you and his father. If Jay gets full custody of the child, Mary will have to pay child support, but you must prove that Mary is not a fitting mom. Have Jay track her down, take pictures of her partying at bars with date/time documated on the pictures. Do ANYTHING you can to catch Mary being an unfitted mom and prove to the court she is not a fitting mother. It is extremely important for Jay and his son's sake that this is brought to the state's attention. Do it through the courthouse. ↑

Name: eram | Date: Aug 1st, 2011 11:19 PM

Your son needs to go and open a case of legal / physical costudy and child support at the court house they have a fee waiver for the fees. Even though he may not get anything from the mother, the baby and him woul be cover legaly. If later on some thing comes up he would have proof that he has been supporting the baby. Also he can apply for medical for the baby if he doesn't have health insurance once he provides his information and the babys they would be able to see that the mother is not caring for the baby. They are many other ways he can protect himself Good luck ↑