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Name: Lonely Mom
[ Original Post ]
Hello All! I'm 23 years old, and I'm pregnant with my second child. My beautiful daughter will be 5 in April, and I have another little girl on the way, who is due in April. Unfortunately, I did NOT set the cards up right for myself. I was young, stupid and in love with the father of my oldest. I THOUGHT we had a great relationship. I busted my ass and worked fulltime and went to school fulltime right after my baby was born. I managed, or at least I thought I managed to take care of home and make sure bills were payed. He worked and contributed. I was definately the bread winner, but made sure I allowed my man to be the man and never tried to make him feel down about bringing in the money. To make a long story short, he cheated on me and said I wasn't paying enough attention to him and no longer felt like he should be in a relationship. THIS tore me apart. For a while I did not think I would EVER find love again. Anyway, one of my friends from school told me she had a brother and thought I should talk to him to take my mind off of my situation. Slowly it did, and I began to develop real feelings for him. We had sooo much in common, and I felt like maybe the grass was greener on the other side. I had my doubts about him because of my insecurities, but I still continued on with our realtionship. Anyway, here I am 2 years later and I'm pregnant with his child. It's been 2 years of ups and DOOOOWWWWNNNSSS!. Things I can't belive I allowed myself to go through. But I did for the sake of "love." Anyway, now he's running the same line on me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I'm more than positive that he's doing him. We said we were definately going to raise our daughter together and when I say that, I mean live in the same house hold, but not be together. By that I mean, he's more than likely going to be talking to other women. I KNOW for a fact with two girls, and two different fathers, I AM DONE! I have absolutely no interest in being in any type of relationship. I am focusing on raising my girls so that way they DO NOT make the same mistakes that I've made and also gurantee that they have the absolute best. I just feel like I'm making a deal with devil by going along with this plan to have a two parent home but ultimately just sit and wait until my daughters get older and on their own to possibly explore the idea of finding someone who will care for me the way I deserve. I definately am not in the place to have anything like that right now, nor do I want it. I just don't know what to do. I know I just typed a blog but, I'm too embarssed to go friends or family with something like this.
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