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Name: Brandy85
[ Original Post ]
Hi everyone. I am new to this. I just found out on Halloween that I am pregnant with my first child. I am about 5 weeks along and the father (my ex boyfriend) told me straight out that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. He doesn't think it's his and he says that even if I prove him wrong he probably isn't going to be a part of his son or daughter's life. According to him he's not ready to be a parent and I can't make him. He begged me to get an abortion the day after I found out. I have medical problems, so this might be the only chance I have to have a child. It's a miracle I was able to get pregnant at all even though it was unexpected. I said no to the abortion and haven't heard from him since. This was on the first of November. I guess I'm doing this alone. What I'm wondering though is if anyone has any advice on dealing with the loneliness. I don't know if it has anything to do with the pregnancy or not, but I just feel so lonely sometimes and I dwell on things. I worry about how I'm going to get by as a single mother. I worry about how I'm going to pay my rent ( I live alone) when I am out on maternity leave from work. I worry about my baby and whether or not his or her father is going to be around. I am aggrivated by the fact that he completely disregards my being pregnant as if he never even had sex with me. He and his new girlfriend has broken up for a couple months when he hooked up with me one night. He used me obviously which is fine, I can deal with that, but he never told her that I'm pregnant, hasn't told any of his family. It's like this baby doesn't even exist to him and it really bothers me. It's a small town and everyone runs back to me telling me how he's out drinking and partying and carrying on as if nothing even happened. It makes me angry that it takes two to tango and I'm the only one worried about the baby. If I'm going to do this alone, I worry that he will cause me problems in the future. Does anyone else that is going through this feel the same way I do? I'm so frustrated, please help. Thank you
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Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 4:33 AM
I know EXACTLY how you feel...really i do and im so sorry you have to go through this.
What you are going to have to do is focus on your child now, and try stay out of this guys way. Its only going to bring you down make you feel more depressed and alone.

Sorry to tell you but its only really going to get worse especially because you do live in a small town, along with the fact you will be a single parent and this dickhead refuses to take responsiblity. Plus as you progress the extra hormones that are going to be kicking in will make you feel quite depressed because of your situation.

All i can suggest for you is to surround yourself with a posistive support network, like family and friends.. and see a councellor. 

Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 5:25 AM
You know what? It does take two to tango. But the reality is, the woman has to take care of birth control, if we dont do it, sure as hell the men wont. 

Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 5:27 AM
Its your responsiblity because its the womans body that gets pregnant, not the mans. Until you married and are in a serious relationship and both of you have been tested, you should be using condoms anyway 

Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 6:52 AM
yea..your so right Hiddy 

Name: molly-may | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 1:42 PM
I think that you need to make sure he is going to pay you child support, make sure you go and get his wages garnished, that may hit him where it hurts. If he denys the baby then the judge will oder a paternity test. If you know his family then maybe they should know and maybe they can talk some sence into him. 

Name: motherdearest | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 1:22 AM
DON'T LET HIM OFF THAT EASY. F THAT 


Name: lil_dancer77 | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 7:47 AM
I disagree about the whole form of birth control being a womans responserblity, only becasue i was on teh pill and fell pregnant while on my period. My ex would not use condoms as he said he was allergic to them, or something along the those lines. and he told me he wanted to be with me for ever and get married etc and we were having a fairly serious relationship. Its a hard place to be, but there is no point playing the blame game. Yes we are the ones that have to go through the pregnacy as they can walk away, but at the end of the day, it takes 2 therefore each person is responserble no less then the other. 

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