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okay I'm 16, a straight A student and I'm 7 weeks pregnant. I have always been against abortion and still am but I know that I won't be able to provide a decent life for my child as my mum is a single parent herself and we struggle as it is. I won't be able to finish my studies because we can't afford child care. But I know that if I get rid of my baby I will never have children ever again because I don't think that any woman that gets rid of a perfectly healthy baby (unless she's been raped) deserves to ever experience motherhood. Any advice please. I'm desperate. ↓
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| Name: tattudemom | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 2:47 PM |
| What about adoption? There are many who'd be happy and thrilled to adopt your baby if you are unable to parent. Otherwise, my advice is to check out any government and/or charity organizations that you could get help from and try to keep your baby. If you find that you just can't do it, maybe then think of adoption with open communication where you'd be in contact with the adoptive parents and child and receive letters, pictures, maybe have a website set up, etc. Good luck to you, and I hope the perfect solution comes your way. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 4:06 PM |
The government will offer financial support, not to mention maintenance from the father. Don't give away your baby because you worry it will decrease your quality of life. That's beyond selfish.
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/ ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 4:07 PM |
| If a woman has the wonderful chance to have a baby, and gives it away, then personally I don't believe she has the right to have another child. Embrace your blessings! I was adopted myself, and it's a cruel fate for the child. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 4:09 PM |
Oh and by the way, Open Adoption is a myth in most cases, used in order to convince women to surrender their children so agencies can make money and adopters can obtain children. Once you relinquish, you have NO LEGAL RIGHT in ANY STATE OR PROVINCE to see your child. If you upset the adoptive parents, or if they NEVER INTENDED for the adoption to be open in the first place, then you are out of luck!!! Adoptive parents hold all the parental rights. You will legally have no more right to see your child than any other stranger would. Even mediation and courts cannot help if they decide to move to another state.
Even adoptive parents who in-good-faith promise openness may later close the adoption if they begin to feel threatened by the natural loving bond between you and your child. And yes, as they are now the sole "legal parents" and your child is now "as if born to" them, they have every right to do so.
Want to keep an open adoption from closing? Be prepared to be a slave to the adoptive parents and obey every rule they set for you: like how often you see your child (if at all) and what you can do in your child's presence. If you displease them or if it's obvious that your child loves you, they can close the adoption at any time. Legally. And more than 80% of them DO! ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: Jun 1st, 2007 5:59 PM |
Despite the fact that I offered adoption as an option, I do appreciate your view on things Briseis because my mom is a birthmom in a closed adoption. She never got to meet my sister until she (my sister) was 40 years old. Now, thank goodness, we have a great relationship with her, but she still has never told her adoptive mom that we've met. How sad is that?
Laura, should you find that you don't qualify (which would be very unusual) for any programs and adoption is your most viable option, make sure you have help from your mom in choosing someone, preferably someone through word of mouth, that you feel is most trustworthy to continue an open agreement. It's true that there are no guarantees, but if you make the most educated choice, it's more likely to be successful. By saying this, I'm absolutely not soliciting you for your child, but I want you to know there are decent folks out there. I happen to want to adopt and have no doubt in my mind I will adhere to whatever is agreed upon from the start. I have utmost respect for anyone who must (or wants to) choose adoption simply because with the ease of abortion nowadays, she could easily have done that instead. Some states do uphold open adoption agreements. California does, and I believe some other states are changing their laws to reflect this as well. By your use of "mum," I'm guessing you aren't from the US though, so I don't know how the law applies in the UK or elsewhere. ↑ |
| Name: Mizz Laura | Date: Jun 22nd, 2007 8:50 AM |
| I want to thank everyone on here for their advice. However I miscarried last week. Actually.....it was a 'missed' miscarriage, where there is no bleeding. My body went into shut down (I have a blood disease- auto-immune sydrome. basically my body is trying to kill me from the inside out) I had to be hospitalized because my body was struggling with two lives to support and they said that the pregnancy was killing me. Apparantly you need to take a load of drugs before you even start planning for a baby (obviously I didn't know this) but I opted to keep my baby. But when I went for my scan last week they said there wasn't a heart beat. I saw my baby though. It was a girl, at least that's what they said. So now I have to have an operation next week. Again thank you to everyone who gave advice. ↑ |
| Name: roxiex | Date: Jun 22nd, 2007 9:08 AM |
| Name: Anna22 | Date: Jun 22nd, 2007 12:03 PM |
| this must be a very hard time for you my thoughts and feelings are with you at this hard time. If you decide to have anotehr baby at least you know what you need to do now. Be strong in this time and i wish you well for the future ↑ |
| Name: Lil | Date: Jun 23rd, 2007 5:01 PM |
| I like you am a straght A student I got preg at 14 and decided to keep my child i am due in 2 day so.... Its gonna be hard! I got kicked out and live with my sisterr! bUT I KNOW I WILL TRY HARD TO. I love my child and i thought about giving her up but when i herd her hartbeat i coulddnt so if you need to talk im here! Dont get a abortion please! It is muchworse then carrying a baby! ↑ |
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