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Name: kosdas
[ Original Post ]
how do you move on when everything you've been working/living for has been taken away, my wife left me with our 3 young boys for a younger man she met at her work, now i don't know what i want out of life anymore, my plan for life has been shot to pieces, it happened over a year ago but i just can't pull myself together, i lived for my family for so long now my dream is gone & she tells me that she will come back for the boys soon, i'm lost & can't find my path there's no happiness left in me & the loneliness is killing me but who would want me like this.
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Name: styler77 | Date: Mar 3rd, 2013 7:50 AM
That's a really tough situation she put you in. I understand you're down. But I can't imagine that would make you unwanted! You sound like you have a big heart, and sooo many women would appreciate that. Sometimes we fall for creeps, right? Well, there are good people out there. And she can't just take your boys away from you. Keep us posted... 

Name: birgit | Date: Mar 4th, 2013 7:00 PM
Dear Kosdas
I actually do understand how you feel. I am in the final stages of a divorce. My exhusband told me out of the blue after 16 years of marriage he wants to end it. It turns out he has had an affair with another woman, wants to be a transvestite and is into BDSM. The carpet was pulled out from underneath my feet and there are days when I do not feel that great about myself. I do however still have my two girls...but oh are those weekends when they go to their father hard. I do feel your loneliness and identify with your questions on what happens to our dreams.
All I can say is be really patient with yourself. It is ok to show emotions and be sad. But at the same time enjoy your boys, try to do fun things with them...even if you do not feel like it. I have also learnt to speak up about my loneliness and have found that people are mostly generous and understanding. Perhaps the big thing you and I have to learn is that it is ok, for now ,just to be happy for a moment. Who knows perhaps in one of those moments we will learn to dream a new dream. I remain hopeful, you do too:) 

Name: Kelly | Date: Mar 12th, 2013 9:17 PM
My husband also recently said he can't do it anymore. There's no other woman that I'm aware of. He says he would never do that. We have been fighting and growing apart. We have a new baby and two older kids. I was destroyed and still am. I have no education, no job, no self esteem. I've been crying for days and don't know how to move on. He says he will help me financially however he can. I'm devastated. I started out begging and asking him to stay. Crying and sobbing. That pushed him away more. I feel for you. I'm trying to hold it together and will be moving to another state to live with my family. It's an awful feeling and doesn't feel real. 

Name: Samantha | Date: Feb 13th, 2014 7:04 PM
I'm going through something similar. I think it's ok to grieve, ad to recognize that is what is actually happening. You grieve the loss of your wife, your dreams of what could have & should have been. Then, when you can breathe without hurting you start making short term and long term goals and you push forward. Realize her choice was exactly that- her choice- and a reflection of who SHE is and not Who you are. Try not to take it out on the kids and shower them with love. Not material things, but time and care and effort. It isn't easy.

I ask myself the same thing, who would want a single mom with 2 kids? Who in reality wot judge me for being single? Te real answer is te right person, at the right time...but that isn't the most important thing right now.

Healing and making sure my children are well taken care of, and that my goals are becoming a reality- that is top priority. 

Name: Gina | Date: May 5th, 2014 3:23 AM
Don't let your past life consume you. All is not lost you have your boys, children are a blessing. I have been divorced for 7yrs and it takes a lot of patience and imagination to move forward. And yes you will have new dreams. I'm sure your kids see the great father you are for them. My kids don't get that opportunity because my ex has not visited them or made contact in any way. Including holidays or birthdays. Even tho the divorce decree grants him visitation rights any time. Yes, he cheated and I haven't contacted him since signing the decree. I wanted it to be his choice to visit the kids but after feeling sorry for myself I turned things around because the hurt my kids were feeling about their dad not visiting was greater than mine. The proudest moment was when my son come home from practice (3 years after the divorce) he walked in with this huge smile on his face and said, Mom we have a great life even without dad, thank you. So be the best dad you can be, they will surprise you, in so many ways and you will realize the happiness was never lost just missed placed. 

Name: Dadof2 | Date: May 8th, 2014 1:42 PM
Wow,

Selfish doesn't come close to describing this woman. She now wants to come back for the boys after walking out on her family for another guy? She doesn't deserve them and you AND your boys deserve WAY better. 


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