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hi im a single mom and i just cry and cry at the thought of the father not coming to see the baby be born. he lives in another country where i used to live and doesnt want to see, hear or know anything about the pregnancy or my baby girl. i let myself get pregnant because he talked nonstop about how much he wanted to have a baby with me. does anyone else feel like they are going to be sad when the father doesnt come to the delivery? ↓
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| Name: Shauna | Date: Feb 7th, 2006 11:30 PM |
| Name: Shauna | Date: Feb 7th, 2006 11:43 PM |
I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE DEPRESSED :) :) But pregnancy increases the risk of depression and although it's hard...(I'm still struggling, trying to stay positive myself) one of the best things you can do for you and your baby whether it's in utero or not is STAY HAPPY do things that keep your mind off of things you know? Go to a library, check out a funny book or two. Go shopping for maternity clothes. Think of a workout routine for after you have your baby. In having this baby, it means that you are choosing to be self-less. And although it seems you were in love with this "man" you will have to tell yourself, that if he won't be there for you in a time so important as this, then who is he to influence your emotions this way?? You don't want someone like him around this irresponsible, imagine the kind of father he WOULDN'T be. You WILL find a real man who loves you and your child with his whole heart. But until then you're this baby's mommy and he/she needs you more than anyone else.
There's some information below about what can happen to baby's of depressed mothers. I don't mean to offend you in anyway if I have.
Some research suggests that depression in pregnant women can have direct effects on the fetus. Their babies are often irritable and lethargic, with irregular sleep habits. These newborns may grow into infants who are underweight, slow learners, and emotionally unresponsive, with behavior problems such as aggression.
A mother’s depression itself can make some of her worries about her child realistic. Infants are highly sensitive to a mother’s sadness, silence, and inattentiveness. In one study, mothers of 3-month-old infants were asked to simulate depression for three minutes. They spoke in a monotone, remained expressionless, and avoided touching the child. Even at that age infants could respond to fleeting changes in their mothers’ apparent mood. They looked away from their mothers and showed signs of distress, which continued for a time even after the women began to behave normally. ↑ |
| Name: Melissa | Date: Feb 27th, 2006 8:34 PM |
Hi jenn,
Hi jenn my name is Melissa and I am 16 years old I had a baby all by myself it is not fun but I had my mom there that is the only one how can love and be there for you bad times and good times I am going to tell you something keep your chin up ok your mom is there for you Melissa ↑ |
| Name: To Jenn | Date: Feb 28th, 2006 12:41 AM |
| The last thing you need is someone at your birth thats not supportive, my exhusband was there but he might as well have not been, he didnt want our son either, I made sure to have my mother and my sister there for support. It turned out great because he was the one that was uncomfortable. Please have someone there that loves you and supports you. Best friend, sibling, mother, aunt. ↑ |
| Name: sonia | Date: Feb 28th, 2006 9:45 AM |
You need support! I sugesst a home birth with a good midwife. After you have your baby fall in love him or her this will heal you. My second was born in a cold hospital by c-section alone. no daddy. I fell in love with her and my pain disappeared.
breastfeed ↑ |
| Name: janet | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 3:51 PM |
i used to- but the father of my baby has 3 other kids, two older sons and a younger daughter (compared to my child)
after i found that out i decided he wasnt worth it- the person that comes with you to witness the birth of your child has to be special and worth it-its such an emotional issue-this guy doesnt sound like he deserves it. ↑ |
| Name: samantha | Date: Mar 7th, 2006 2:37 AM |
| my husband is still in the house but went emotionally numb when i got pregnant. what is crazy is it was through IVF. It was no surprise. now i feel he is going to leave and have nothing to do with the baby. sad? oh yes. i think anyone would be sad. it is the stregnth you get from what is growing inside you that must keep you going. dont worry about the father. you can do it on your own. ↑ |
| Name: Shawn | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 12:46 AM |
I am pregnant right now. My baby is due May 25th. I am having my baby alone. There are two possibles on the father and I won't know who's until he is born. Father #1 wanted the baby, but he is in alcohol rehab. Father #2 is an eye surgeon and doesn't want the baby. The reality of my sitiuation is that I will have my child without a partner. Is it sad? Yes, but I have my mom and my three other children there for me. Try to get your focus off of the father not being there. Try to pull together all the support you DO have. I would also look into that other country's policy about child support (if they have one). It is a tough road having a baby without a partner, but there are a lot of government resources, programs, support groups, etc. I take advantage of them and it has been a big help.
In the end you will find out who your true friends are. You will find out who loves you. If the real father is as big of a stinker as he sounds then he doesn't deserve that precious child you have. Having a baby is the most wonderful event I have ever had besides raising them. Don't let that jerk take that away from you or your baby.
As far as feeling down: Women are challenged when it comes to Seratonin (the feel good chemical in the brain). When you are pregnant there are even more challenges with Seratonin because your hormones are all out of whack. Google natural ways of increasing your seratonin. I make sure I take walks with my dog and get plenty of excercise. Get natural sunlight and eat foods like turkey and cottage cheese that have seratonin. These little tips will help you feel good when your feeling down. ↑ |
| Name: To Samantha | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 1:49 AM |
| Hey Samantha - don't give up yet. My husband and I went through IVF (failed) and while we were in the process I read something at the Dr.'s office that said you should spend extra time tending to your husband, tell him you love him, include him in every aspect of the pregnancy, etc, because when you do IVF it is almost entirely about the woman and the woman gets all the attention that man can feel left out and useless, like there is no role for him in the relationship this really makes sense when you consider all he has to do is visit a room with a cup and a few magazines and the rest is you. So just try to let him know that you understand how he feels and that this is your baby together that you couldn't have done it without him. He just feels real left out right now and needs reassurance. I could be wrong but it's worth going over if you want to save your marriage. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: katie | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 2:02 AM |
| hi jenn, im a 26 year old mother with six children, my first 4 were to my husband and he hasnt seen them for around a year. my other two was to a man who i found out had two familys, myself and another. he hasn't seen the littlest one at all. The docters delivered my last baby by sezerian and i was alone for the whole pregnancy and birth. as much as i was angry with his father, i still get very upset that he will never meet him, as i dont know where he is any more. u know what its healthy to get upset about things like this. some men are such pigs. ↑ |
| Name: nikki | Date: Mar 14th, 2006 9:33 PM |
| I have a different situation. My childs father got locked up before her birth. So he was not able to be there. I had my best friend and my mother there. It was still sad that he wasnt able to be there. It was hard to see all the other women there with the fathers of their children. ↑ |
| Name: Lily | Date: Jul 16th, 2007 7:26 PM |
| I got knocked up in high school by my boyfriend who left me. Then I married a jew who knocked me up and left me. I then moved in with a man so my two kids would be taken care of. He knocked me and let me stay for 5 years til he found a new gf (who was pregnant by her father!) I then married my now husband and am now due to deliver in 5 weeks. So far he is still around. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Finally I am not alone. ↑ |
| Name: jacqui | Date: Jul 17th, 2007 9:20 AM |
| My boyfriend of three years - who also wanted children- has rejected me because I am pregnant and wants me to have an abortion. I am 34 and fear I won't meet another suitable partner to have children with before I am getting too old. I am heartbroken and not even sure how I can face the pregnancy alone let alone the delivery. I think you are brave at having made the decision to keep the pregnancy - and you will be strong enough to face the delivery without him. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: belen | Date: Jul 19th, 2007 12:04 AM |
Dont let the depression takes palce in your live during this time I know it is hard to be a single mother, I am one but you will find your reward the first time you see your baby´s face
Be strong God is always with you ↑ |
| Name: dee | Date: Jul 19th, 2007 5:50 AM |
| I am a single mother of two and my second child's father and I split up when I was pregnant. He has never met my daughter but I thank god every day for the gift I was given. You and your daughter will be fine and if her father does not wish to share her life, don't feel sad, feel blessed with the greatest gift of all (your daughter). Enjoy her and remember that he is the one missing out, not you. One day he will feel sad but you and your daughter have no reason to feel that way. ↑ |
| Name: melissa | Date: Jul 23rd, 2007 5:46 AM |
| Name: sarah | Date: Aug 26th, 2007 4:23 PM |
| my partner split up with me a week ago even though im 36 weeks pregnant he decided he didnt love me anymore. He said it was from the first day i found out i was pregnant but he put this big act on that he was looking forward to it then bam he decides its not what he wants he said he wants full envolvement in this childs life. I cant work him out i hate what he has done to me. im so scared of not coping and being on my own with a baby. Why does things never plan out? ↑ |
| Name: Jaz | Date: Sep 1st, 2007 1:08 PM |
| I am a single mum. My son is almost 4 weeks old now. I admit, it is really hard, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. His father is from overseas. We met in Australia and I got pregnant. He was really angry at me for not having an abortion and was on the next plane to France. It makes me really sad too that my son won't have a father. He won't even talk to me. It's hard for me too because my life is on hold and I am looking after baby 24/7. Not only that but I am single and will be for a long time...there isn't time for romance. I think though that it is all worth it. I LOVE my son so much and I love him more and more each day. It feel good to share and know that I am not the only single parent in the world. ↑ |
| Name: Katie | Date: Sep 8th, 2007 2:11 AM |
| Im only 3 months pregnant and the father of my child left me.. he wont talk to me or see me... he wants nothing to do with me or my baby... all I can do is cry all the time now... ↑ |
| Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Sep 8th, 2007 3:29 AM |
| katie please look at the bright side of things at least he left before the baby became attached to him find a support group and let other people share your burden ↑ |
| Name: Trina | Date: Sep 9th, 2007 3:21 PM |
| Hi, I am in your same position, except I was seeing some guy and I got pregnant on birth control, when he found out he was ready to support me to get an abortion but as soon as I told him I was going to keep it he dissappeared telling me he was too young, couldn't support a baby financially, and wasn't ready to be a father so he left me to deliver and raise the baby alone. Its fine with me althought I never wished to be in these circumstances, I really would not want and guy there if he wasn't going to be 100% but it is going to be a very lonely process....I am due in April.... ↑ |
| Name: NovemberD | Date: Sep 16th, 2007 5:05 AM |
I amazed at how many women are in similar -- or even worse -- positions as myself. I found out I was pregnant after the father and I stopped dating. He's not bothered to see me or check in on me at all in the past couple months even though he had me believing he was going to be supportive. I've reached out ot him on occasion, but get lilttle to no response.
What is wrong with the men in this country? I find the level of accountability and integrity is apalling! I feel for all of the women who are left to go it alone while their boyfriends run away from their responsibilities... I am lucky to have a very supportive family and friends, but I cannot help but feel hurt by the rejection. And I often wonder how this abandonment-in-the-making will affect my child's psychological development. ↑ |
| Name: audrey | Date: Sep 19th, 2007 5:54 AM |
| Name: Ella | Date: Sep 20th, 2007 1:50 PM |
Hi everyone,
I write for top UK women's magazines and I'm currently looking for women whose boyfriends or husbands left them when they found out they were expecting their baby and who wouldn't mind talking about what it's like to go through a pregnancy and giving birth alone.
If interested, please get in touch with me asap on [email protected]. You must be willing to be photographed for the feature. Names can be changed. Payment involved.
Many thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.
Ella ↑ |
| Name: malu | Date: Oct 18th, 2007 9:47 AM |
| If u want to give ur baby to me i will be happy ↑ |
| Name: annie7224 | Date: Oct 18th, 2007 9:23 PM |
| Anyone to place their child with a loving secure stable financially secure family who will love and cherish your infant or toddler please let us know we are trying desperately to complet our family since we can not have children. thanks [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: lene | Date: Oct 20th, 2007 1:55 AM |
| I understand how you feel. The father of my baby does not want to participate either. It's a very lonely feeling. However, the best thing that we can do is to stay as positive and strong as we can while putting the focus on our beautiful, healthy babies. ↑ |
| Name: Tisha | Date: Nov 8th, 2007 7:45 PM |
| I am four months pregnant and I moved back to my hometown after leaving an unhealthy situation with my child's father. He is a complete (well, he at least holds a job) loser. We didn't talk for a month and then he pops up a week ago and nothing had changed. He asked that me and the baby come back but I called him and told him we WILL NOT come back and I didn't want to speak to his loser a** anymore. So I am afraid he will miss out purposely on the chance to see his second child (I also gave birth to his first son but he was stillborn) come into the world. I also fear that he will blame me or do it because he thinks it's going to hurt me. But I don't want to see his face ever again in life and it will put an ugly damper on the beautiful day if he chose to show up there. It's still scary though and I understand. I hurt, I cry sometimes, but hey, imagine how you would be if you had to stick around these losers. Imagine how you feel if someone who was truly unsupportive came to witness you in what should be one of the most life changing moments in anyone's life? Pray about it all the time and I'm certain God will turn this into a blessing. ↑ |
| Name: KIM GERWICK | Date: Nov 23rd, 2007 3:31 AM |
| I'M 6 MONTHS OREGNANT WITHM Y FIRST AND I STILL GET CONTRACTIONS BUT THEY SEEM TO LAST ONLY 5 MINUTES APART. IS IT SAFE TO HAVE SEX WHILE I'M PREGNANT? ↑ |
| Name: KIM GERWICK | Date: Nov 23rd, 2007 3:32 AM |
| I'M 6 MONTHS PREGNANT WITHM Y FIRST AND I STILL GET CONTRACTIONS BUT THEY SEEM TO LAST ONLY 5 MINUTES APART. IS IT SAFE TO HAVE SEX WHILE I'M PREGNANT? ↑ |
| Name: lauren | Date: Dec 4th, 2007 12:12 AM |
| im 3 months pregnant and im due june 1st. I just moved out and left my boyfriend because hes an alcoholic and hes mentally abusive and treats me really bad he has one kid now and he gets behind the wheel and drives with his son w him. i dont want my child to be in danger like that and i need to find a way to keep my child away from him because it scares me and i have no idea what to do??? I need help! ↑ |
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