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| Name: Reality | Date: Sep 3rd, 2010 6:50 PM |
| Hello Jas! First, you will probably feel that way for the rest of your life, sorry to say. No matter what you do, there will always be work to do. You will always see your son as he is and the say you want things to be. If you continue to "cycle" through those emotions with confusion, you will only harm yourself and in turn, harm him. You love him, this is how some who loves feels. Second, I am an individual who has had to work through a great deal of "disabilities" myself... I am 35 now. And, I really think I should share something with you. Something very important and hardly recognized by societies "norms". What I am about to tell you has saved my life. What I reliezed for myself, by myself, is that I am not disablied. Yes, I have learning difficulties, emotional difficulties, difficulties within difficulties, but I am not disablied. I do not fit into the worldly norm... so I really stand out. And, through my life, the easiest way for me to explain to others and try to fit into the "norm" was to discribe these things as disabiliies. As deficets. So others would not look at me strangly or judge as harshly. This explanation silenced some of the harshness but opened up a great deal more pain. For, by doing this, I was unable to see the gifts that were infront of me the whole time. All I saw was someone who didn't fit. Someone who would never fit. As long as I allowed the outside to determine the titles of my worth, i was constatnly spinning out of control. Always sad and feeling alone. But when I started to look for the positives in these things... the hidden gems, I was amazed to find that what I had inside me was another world. The chance to show others that life is in each of our hands and the choice on how we see things really lies within each of us. The sensitivites that I experience allow me to paint the world in differect hue, instead of the bread-boxed version that everyone is told to except. That my inner strength has given me the ability to feel a deeper compassion for all things living... and with this... a deeper compassion for myself. I have been able to grow in areas of my life that for someone eles, might take a lot longer. I believe, that it is when we are on our knees that we really are living. Life no longer just speeds by, people no longer are just figures in a mist of worldly operations. That within all of this lies a seperate energy and meaning. I know, more than ever, appreciate my "disabilities". I would not be the earthly artist that I am now, nor would I be able to type these things to you. You and your son are Pioneers. He is only disabled if we call him this or expect the world to dictate the norms through you or him. He is a teacher and so are you. Stand up to that job... for if anything can truly help him... it is being that teacher. At.... allowing him to be your teacher. ↑ |
