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Name: sweetcaramalkiss
[ Original Post ]
i just am wondering if any other mom that has a special needs child ever feels a certain way when they bring them out in public? I don't know how to describe this feeling because its not a feeling of embaressment or a feeling of being ashamed of him its just that I hate when people look at him differently I mean is that anal of me or is that a normal feeling. I love my son to death and I'd be totally lost without him. Why do I feel this way????
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Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:24 PM
I dont believe it is shame or embaressment eather. I think it's a feeling like you are on stage performing a show! People look and stare, when there is some thing or some one that is not what is consitered the norm. So if your child has a deformity or in a wheelchair they will be looked at! I wouldnt let it get to you! every one with some thing diffrent about thier appearance will be looked at. You may have orange hair or freckels, a limp, you may be short, to fat and you will be stared at! I think it is the parent that has a bit of consern as to what people are thinking when they see their child, and are they thinking negative about them? Not always are people viewing him diffrently, they are curious! and I found most people I have ever spoke to that was staring felt a sadness for my child not a pitty but a genuin sadness! If you see some one looking or staring, approach that person! strike up conversation and you will find they will always say some thing kind about your child. By approaching them it will help you realize not every one stares to be rude most dont realize they are doing it. So in short I do know what your feeling! 

Name: JJJWKT | Date: Dec 1st, 2006 5:23 PM
Hello, I am new to this forum. I have a son who has ADHD and acts out sometimes when we are out in public. Recently we were at our campground and he was bumping into someone in line. The lady turned to look at him and said you have to learn to be in your own space. I got up and gave her a dirty look and told my son to not go past were my arm was. Of course he was upset and acted out even more. After the ride he was sitting beside me and yelling. I told him to be behave because other people were looking at us. I said it quietly between him and me. Afterwards I felt like a bad mother. I made him feel even worse for beoing himself. l Like you I love my son but sometimes people stare at him and judge. I've been working on this behavior of mine not to care what others think. 

Name: lindalu | Date: Dec 1st, 2006 11:19 PM
Sweetcaramalkiss what is your childs special need? Is he physically challanged or cognatively challanged? 

Name: sweetcaramalkiss | Date: Dec 3rd, 2006 7:26 PM
JJJWKT


Hello how are you and thanks all for responding to my forum. My son Anthony is four years old. Presently he can not walk, talk or function as a normal four year old should. He is dependent in all areas, feeding, toileting, dressing ect. He also feeds through a g- tube. he's doing ok though much better than last year although no drastic changes. I just had another son 4 months ago and he is a piece of work. It is very different it sometime amazes me how intelligent he is. He already got his first tooth. His name is Jayden and he adores his big brother. Well I can go on for days but I love this chat site it is great to know that there is always someone out there that has or will experience similar things that you have whether it be emotions or physically. 

Name: lindalu | Date: Dec 4th, 2006 1:10 AM
Just hang in there hon! Things wont always seem perfect but in time you will look back at it all as a learning experience. He will teach you more than you will ever imagen! Congratulations on you new son! 

Name: jenleewashere | Date: Dec 4th, 2006 6:37 PM
Your feelings are completely normal and I know how hard it is to be out in public with people staring at you and your child. Eventually, it should get easier and you may not notice the stares as much, sad to say but you sorda get used to it. Keep your head high and enjoy your son and your outing, to heck with everyone else. When and if you feel comfortable talk with some of these people, get the word out on your son's disability, educate them. Most people are curious and interested to learn about the child's disiblity. Some ask really good questions. After awhile you can reconize people who are caring and interested or the people who are ignorant and stare cuz they think they are just one step better than the rest of us. These people are a lost cause. They aren' t even smart enough to carry on an adult conversation, if you talk with them you walk away feeling you just lost brain cells. These are people who laugh, point and call names. Yes, I have had an adult woman call my autistic daughter STUPID. Now, as special needs parents, we go through so many feelings and emotions throughout our child's life, when this woman did this it was hard not to unleash all that pent up emotion, (mostly the anger of dealing with these people for so long). I seriously thought about hitting this woman. I figured she wasn't worth it and I didn't want to take away the two brain cells she had left. I did however confront her, in the middle of a store, I walked away and guess who ended up looking stupid, I had to laugh because anyone near the area where we were heard a grown woman called a disabled child stupid. 


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