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Name: Tan
[ Original Post ]
I am 6 months pregnant and I can't decide what to do. At first I wanted to take the whole year off and spend with my baby I live in Ontario Canada and EI pays 55% of your wages for a year for maternity benefits. Me and my husband are tight for cash pretty much living week to week we both make the same amount of money. He doesn't want me to take the year off he thinks I should go back to work after the baby is born he doesn't want to support us. He is 23 and is working for him mom and dad and he refuses to get another job that pays more because i think there he can slack off a lot. I want to tell my boss what i'm doing so he can hire someone else because they have always been good to me at work. I don't know how much day care cost but i've hear 136.00 a day! which is more then i even make in a day. We have no family to watch the little one for free/lesser costs. Please give me some advice, how do you make it being a stay at home mom, what kind of work are your husbands in?
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Name: lili | Date: Feb 23rd, 2006 12:14 AM
If your husband works for his parents and does not want to get a second job or a new job then tell him to ask for a raise.
He should not be slacking off he is a father now. It's not like you are telling him you want to stay home and watch tv all day, you will be working at raising your child that is more than a full time job. Plus you will still be bringing in some money. He should be able to see that there is no other option for right now. 

Name: Debi | Date: Feb 23rd, 2006 1:17 AM
My husband works 7 days a week, so I can stay home with the kids. He is a gem. And I have 3 kids. I did just sart working part time. My youngest is 7. 23 is young, and it's hard for men to be responsible when they are that young. I hope your husband looks at that baby and realizes how much it needs mommy to be home with it. God Bless. Have you talked to his parents about the situation? 

Name: Alicia | Date: Mar 1st, 2006 12:43 AM
I agree with them but on the other hand if there are no other options, I would check into subsidy programs in your area or ask local daycares if there is help for lower income parents. I am a single mother and work full time, my son has been in daycare since he was two! I have been able to do this because of subsidy and scholarships funded by the daycare. You must play your part and do what you can to pull your weight. Im sorry to hear that your husband doesnt want to make the changes necessary for your new family but knowing that, you must take responsability on making the changes yourself. Wish you the best! 

Name: Working Dad | Date: Mar 20th, 2006 7:35 PM
There may be other ways to cut costs or reshape lifestyles to make your situation work.

Does your husband smoke, or drink? Those are the first two things to cut down to instantly raise your net income without having to work harder/longer.

What are his hours at work? Could you put in part time in the evening after he gets home from work to help with cash flow? That would also give dad some quality time with baby, and mom a nice break. (If this is your first baby, you will understand how nice a break is)

In my situation I work monday to friday 9-5 then come home help with supper, and let mom get some sleep.

On saturdays and sundays my wife works and I take care of the house/baby.

One thing you have to keep in mind is that you have to start thinking about a NEW way of living, because once the baby comes your old routine (no matter what it was) won't suffice. 

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