I am an adoptive father that has been successful with finalizing one adoption and we are on to our second right now. I just started looking at this board tonight and I feel very worried for many of you. I have been a social worker in the Adoptions world as well.
I want to warn you all that so many of these posts from Birthparents seem like scams. Please do not be so desperate to parent that you fall prey.
We are living in very harsh economical times and desperate people do desperate things - like lie - and make up stories about wanting to place their child for adoption, and all they need is help with this or that. I know of many adopting parents that have lost thousands of dollars because they were not willing to have a birthparent investigated by a professional. I do not recommend for-profit adoption entities - look for non-profit adoption agencies that are more willing to look at all options for birthparents before they place an adopting parent in a vulnerable adoption scenario.
The For-profit world of adoptions is as much of a scam as scamming birthparents. The goal is to get your money. But adopting parents and birthparents need professional intermediaries - people that can investigate the "health" of an adoption for all parties.
Don't be so desperate that you set yourself up for more heartache and an empty wallet.
Be sure that your birthparents have been professionally screened and have received professional counseling as well as medical screening before you accept a match. If the adoption entity cannot prove to you that they have thoroughly investigated a birthparent (not just by having a birthparent fill out family history but that they have taken measures to validate the information and have looked for any criminal history)and have offered them parenting option counseling (with licensed counselors), go somewhere else. And do ask to see their licenses! And if they haven't made efforts to contact an unnoticed birthfather - what are you paying them for?
Many Birthparents come on boards like these because they hope they can directly contact a vulnerable adopting parent that will not take this step by safe step. Be careful. Be very careful! ↓
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