|
Name: A Scammed Adoptive Parent
|
|
| Name: Flowergirl | Date: Aug 8th, 2006 5:28 PM |
I just wanted to commend Lori, 'Me' and Hannah for the beautiful, mature way you all worked through this wonderful discussion! How awesome it would be if every 'discussion' with differing opinions were solved in such a manner... Great example to so many people, all three of you!
I am on two sides of the adoption triad myself, as a hopeful adoptive Mom and as an adoptee. I appreciated the points you made, Hannah, when speaking of an adopted child searching for his/her birthparents. You mentioned that you felt that if your child was not searching, it must mean they are happy and fullfulled (wording as I remember it). I just wanted to assure you that this is, at least in my life, the exact truth. I have never been interested in spending precious time and energy to find my birthparents, because I *have* parents. My adoptive parents are the best parents in the world and have given me everything a child (and grown child) could ever have wanted! And I'm *not* talking money as my parents were definitely not made of money and I grew up in just a middle class family that sometimes 'did without' material things, but acceptance, guideance and unconditional love were always in great supply. I just believe my mother loved me enough to give me a chance at a better life through the miracle of adoption and I got a wonderful life!
I am in no way against adoptees searching and finding their birthparents... to some it is necessary for closure or peace... I only am saying that in some cases at least, what you stated *is* true! When we adopt, we do hope to continue an open relationship with our child's birth-family so they can grow up knowing their birthfamily. We do feel this is important in a situation if at all possible, but if it isn't or wasn't, it doesn't mean a child is deprived!
Hugs to all! ↑ |
| Name: hannah | Date: Aug 8th, 2006 9:04 PM |
Lori - I just emailed at yahoo address.
Flowergirl: :) You ARE right -- you DO have parents, and I am so glad they are "the best parents in the world." :)
:) hannah ↑ |
| Name: babygirl456 | Date: Aug 12th, 2006 8:48 AM |
| Wow half way down I thought that yall where gonna have a cat fight ,I heard about the dateline thing and I feel so bad for Aparents .Im a Bmom of two girls there Amom is my friend and she cant have children so I had them for her I know how much she wanted children and I hate to hear about lil bi*ches that try to take Aparents for a ride .I hope that all the Aparents here find they little angels be careful but open your heart a little every though you are scared if you find a Bmom that is not a scammer remember that she is just as scared as you are . ↑ |
| Name: Lori | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 1:10 AM |
| just thought i'd let you know the show is on right now....there will also be an update at the end. ↑ |
| Name: applesharon | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 1:12 AM |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 1:42 AM |
| Yes, my girlfriend Kate just called and clued me in this is on!!! ↑ |
| Name: icechick | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 2:09 AM |
Lori
I just heard of this story, and I am so so very sorry. I am glad you are going to finally be able to Adopt. God Bless ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 4:12 AM |
Lori,
I thought thedid show updates on the show were great. I am glad it did show you and part of the court. I think that mgiht help to open the eyes of some of these scammers. I know our first scammer ended up getting 18m and served 6 for fraud. She was here in Houston.
We wish you the best with your new PBM. Let us know when the baby gets here. Missed you on chat.
Tamara (love4baby) ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 4:14 AM |
Crazy computer... typing a bit off. keys are sticking....spilled coffee on them this AM. LOL! shouldn't betyping before I'm awake. :)
Tamara ↑ |
| Name: Lori | Date: Sep 3rd, 2006 3:49 AM |
Thank you all for the sweet comments. You will never know how much I needed the encouragement.
Tamara,
Thanks for missing me! Honestly, it's just been more than I can handle right now. I'm so afraid of negativity, I've just been kinda hiding. Thank you for understanding and being so supportive. I hope the story will, even in a small way, help all those involved in adoption be better protected and educated.
Blessings to all,
Lori ↑ |
| Name: Scam Buster | Date: Sep 12th, 2006 11:51 PM |
| Name: bugslife1983 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 1:04 AM |
| Question. Do any of you know if you can press charges against someone for scamming if they never signed anthing and we never gave them any money? ↑ |
| Name: orangejuice | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 1:12 AM |
| if nothing was signed and you didnt give any money then you cant press charges, a bmom cant sign her rights over until 72 hours after birth and she has a legal right to change mind ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:09 AM |
| We were also scammed about a month ago. Her line was if you don't trust me with your money, why should I trust you with my baby. Hubby and I were sposed to meet her the next day in person, however over in Canada. So since we never actually met and money never crossed over etc., nothing police could do anyway then. Still glad I was being extra vigilant. ↑ |
| Name: Scam Buster | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:11 AM |
| Name: bugslife1983 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:31 AM |
| Even if i have proof from yahoo chats she said we can adopt the kid. She doesn't even hhave a kid. ↑ |
| Name: orangejuice | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 5:13 AM |
| if no money was given you are out of luck. i called my attorney at home and he said birthmoms can change their mind. he said you could ask for money back if any was given but most of the time you wont get it back if it was a real birthmom ↑ |
| Name: bugslife1983 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:24 PM |
| I think there should be more laws on adoption. ↑ |
| Name: Marsha24 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:33 PM |
I'm still semi new to this forum, I've been coming on once or twice a day to read and try to learn more. I don't know if I want to adopt for sure. I'd just like to talk to people and read first. I'm sorry that any woman wanting a child could be treated like this. I know what it is like probably more than anyone to want to hold your child in your arms.
But at the same time I also know what it is like to love your children so much that you can't give them up. I've had a few of the same problems as some women on the forum. I got pregnant at 20 and had my son. It was extremely hard, I was still in college. Adoption was something I considered, but I kept him. 3 months after I had him, I got pregnant again and had another little boy. Both were birth control babies, and I was married, so please don't think bad of me. My heart goes out to any woman who can't have children naturally. It is the most amazing experience. When my second son was a year old, I found out I was pregnant again...twins. Early on I lost the first, but I soon found out the second twin was a girl. I had alot of problems and she was delivered by c-section at 7 mths. Perfectly healthy, and came home from the hospital a week later. Because of all the problems I'd had with my pregnancies and labors, I opted to have my tubes tied. 5 months after I had my daughter, I went to wake her up and found her dead. She died of sids. Laying on her back, with all precautions taken. That's why I say I know what its like from both sides.
Birthmothers need to be more patient with the adoptive parents, and don't talk to someone about giving up your child unless you are sure that is something you think you can do.
Adoptive parents need to be more patient with the birthmothers, you have no idea what it is like to get to know a child, see its personality develop, go through the pain of labor... and then walk away.
Don't let someone scam you, but don't harden your heart to people either. ↑ |
| Name: bugslife1983 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 3:08 PM |
| I totally see where you are coming from. I couldnt' give my child up. I respect legitamite birth mothers who can. But it really hurts when you have someone tell you that they have a kid you can adopt and then they really don't have a kid at all. I am thankfull we didn't spend any money on her or sign any papers. I was blind to her foolishness. At least it would have been easier for us if she had a kid and decided not to put the kid up. But she was just playing with our hearts. ↑ |
| Name: Marsha24 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 3:25 PM |
| I am so sorry that you were lied to like that. It makes me wonder how someone like that was raised. I hope that in raising my kids I can teach them enough compassion they would not be able to treat someone like that. ↑ |
| Name: bugslife1983 | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 3:54 PM |
| I was hoping i could make her go to jail. I know that is vindictive but I think she needs to suffer. That is why i asked if i could file charges. Someone else said i could but then i thought well fraud is just where you take money and run type of thing, ↑ |
| Name: Scam Buster | Date: Sep 21st, 2006 4:38 AM |
|
|
