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Has anyone heard of the afamily waiting by the phone until they get word the mom is in labor and then come to the hospital hours after the baby is born or even come the next day? ↓
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| Name: Pierrot | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:47 PM |
Carrie,
Anything is possible, but most adoptive parents go to the hospital as soon as the birthmom goes into labor; our birthmom wanted us there waiting, but not in the delivery room.
We saw our son minutes old through the nursery window when the nurses were cleaning him up and checking him out. ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:49 PM |
| Personally I am only going to have my family there. I want my time with the baby. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:50 PM |
Carrie,
Yes. There are some AP's that would dream of that situation. You are not waiting and hoping for 3 or 4 months and then worrying that the last minute the PBM is going to change her mind. In those cases most the time the PBM does not want to choose or waits til the last minute to look at profiles. Then she tells the attorney or agency this is who I want. They are called and told the baby will be here...(tomorrow) can you be in...what ever city by xxx time. They say yes or no and it is done.
The only negative is you want to havealot of contact with your adoptive family and baby after and alot of those situations are closed adoptions.
When are you due Carrie?
Tamara ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:51 PM |
| At the hospital where I will be delivering they give the birthmom or a mom thats keeping her baby two bracelets. That way she can get the baby from the nursary anytime she wants. She can give the other bracelet to whoever she wishes but at the end of the visit the bracelet has to go back to the birthmom and if the mom is parenting her baby. ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:52 PM |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:53 PM |
| Name: bbaby2006 | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 5:59 PM |
Hi Carrie
I definitely think it is a good idea for the birthmother to make a plan prior to the birth of her baby. There are just so many emotions that come into play.
And yes, when we adopted our child in 2003 we went to the hospital to bring her home when she was two days old. We were not in the room or hospital during the delivery.
Good luck to you.
Tracy ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 6:01 PM |
| My mom and dad will be in the delivery room with me. The father of my baby says he wants to go in as well so he may go in there too but he has a weak stomach so he says he may wait in the waiting room. I am just waiting to see what he decides. I am allowed 3 people in the room. In the recovery room I am allowed 4. ↑ |
| Name: Heartstrings | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 6:45 PM |
Dear Carrie,
Our situation was what you are talking about. We got the call as our son was being born in Utah. We live in Colorado, so with the drive we got their the next day. Our birthfamily had the first day alone with him and then we all spent the next three days in the hospital together getting to know each other as we had not met previously. It was actually very beautiful because my husband, myself, our son, his entire birth family including birth mom, birth dad, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents were all there to meet him before we took him home. It was really a unique situation and special to all of us.
Jess
www.achild2love.com ↑ |
| Name: baby2 | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 6:53 PM |
| Hi Carrieperson, yes we were notified that our bmom was in labor on a Tuesday (by our agency) and could not go to the hospital until Thursday to meet with our bmom and our son. We took our baby boy home that day after our entrustment ceremony with our bmom's minister. ↑ |
| Name: califadoptee | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 7:10 PM |
Carrie - there are many adoptive families that would be open to getting contacted at the last minute, even after birth. We are one of those families - although I know from your posts, you are looking for a NH family.
Birthmothers change their minds at the last minute for a number of reasons - there are always other families that will be a good match and love you and your baby. You really have the choice to wait until it's comfortable for you to decide who will adopt your baby.
Feel free to contact me for any pregnancy / adoption related resources. Take care.
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: 2poms4us | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:05 PM |
Hey Carrie,
It really sounds like you have done your research! I agree with you on the hospital time- we had a failed adoption last May- our potential birthmom chose to parent- but before she decided to parent she wanted us at the hospital and me in the dlvry room- all of which was ackward- she also wanted to meet my parents- so they were also at the hospital- she lived across the country from us- we are on the East coast and she is on the West coast. We followed her lead on what she was comfortable with but to be honest - it was very uncomfortable for us- we are looking for an open adoption but we think there are just somethings in the adoption process that should be seperate- like the birthmom/dad having their time to make peace with their decsion. A lot of emotions flow at the time of delivery and sometimes a well planned out adoption plan may fall through once the baby is born.
Just my opinion- you should definitely stick to your guns about the things you want for your adoption plan.
Take care,
Karen http://home.nc.rr.com/karenandphil ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:08 PM |
| I want a family that is agreeable to my needs and to my situation. ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:10 PM |
| A good match means to me is one where all parties agree on what will happen in the hospital and where all parties agree on what the birthmom wants in the adoption. I think aparents and bparents shouldnt budge on what they want or need. I think if all parties don't agree then it's not a good match and they should continue the search of the right family and bparents for them. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:29 PM |
Dear Carrie-
Here is a website that may be of interest to you............
Birthmothers of NH...........
http://www
.birthmothersofnh.com/
I
f
you ever decide to open up your search to neighboring states, we will be moving back to Long Island NY in either September or October.
Good luck to you!
Carolyn
http://www.readytoadopt.
com/carolynandlouis/
[email protected]
m
↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:39 PM |
| I more than likely won't look for parents outside of new hampshire because that means so much to me. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 8:42 PM |
I understand Carrie, but if you do, my husband is a pilot for a major airline, and we can always travel, it is nothing for us to jump on a plane, which we do all the time.
We love NH, and I even have some family there.
Best wishes-
Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 2:02 AM |
| I won't pick a family out of state. That is one thing I am not flexable on. My attorney knows this. I got 5 profiles today of families in new hampshire. I went to my attorneys office today to get them. I will be talking to one in person on saturday and another on Monday. ↑ |
| Name: susanandscot | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 2:44 AM |
Hi Carrie,
That's great! I'm glad you've made progress. Just take your time in deciding who you want to parent your child.
You still have plenty of time to make a decision.
Susan ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 2:46 AM |
| I just want to talk to these 2 couples I am interested in just for now. That way I can get to know them before the final decision on what one I want. I want to see if we get along and see if we want the same things. ↑ |
| Name: susanandscot | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 3:08 AM |
That's a good idea. Just stay true to yourself and make sure you make a plan you can live with.
Good luck with your search. : ) ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 3:16 AM |
| You are right. I have had people try to talk me into changing my want wants and needs in the adoption. Like for instance choose a family thats like this or that and other things. ↑ |
| Name: susanandscot | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 3:22 AM |
| Don't let people talk you out of anything. Just take your time, you'll find what you want ↑ |
| Name: Flowergirl | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 3:29 AM |
Best of luck, Carrie!
I hope you find the perfect family for your precious baby... Don't let anyone sway you on your adoption decision. It is a decision that will impact you, the baby's father and most importantly, the baby, for life. You sound as though you are making a careful, informed decision and I wanted to wish you the best of everything.
Warm regards! ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 3:41 AM |
| I wont let anyone sway me. I think thats why alot of people dont like me because I wont let them. ↑ |
| Name: paul and carla | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 5:04 AM |
Carrie-
A good source of support is Birthmombuds.com. I think I saw in another post to you somewhere that someone recommended birthmomsofNH.com. I'm not trying to knock down birthmomsofNH but I know for a fact that she has copied almost everything from Birthmombuds.com. Coley, a birthmom herself, is one of the founders at Birthmombuds and she is available anytime. Best of luck with meeting the prospective adoptive couples in the days to come. Trust me- they'll be just as nervous as you! ↑ |
| Name: carrieperson | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 5:27 AM |
| I saw birthmombuds but can't remember everything I read on it. I may have to go back and read it again. ↑ |
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