|
I'm 19yrs old going to be 20 in April and I gave my son up last year after living with him for a year and just this last Decemeber he got adopted to a wonderful family but I'm having problems dealing with the emptyness of not having him ↓
|
|
| Name: Jessie S. | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 6:24 AM |
| Betsy, you will always feel some emptiness, but it will lessen. If you gave him up for good reasons w/ good intentions, you did the right thing. Some are ready at 19 and some are not. Only you can decide in your heart to focus on all the good things about your decision for your son. He has a wonderful family and so he has a wonderful life ahead of him, good job. As a mother you did what was best for your son and now he will have a wonderful life. He will someday respect you for the decision that you made for him. Many things that happened to me when I was 20 were life changing and I thought I would never recover or move on, but now, I don't even remember every detail of many of these events. I just remember the event and why I did it the way I did. Soon this is how it will be for you. You will always love him, you will never forget, but you will be okay with it soon. Now you need to honor him w/ your life choices. Be the person that you needed to give him up to become. Don't let him down. Someday he will want to meet you. Who will you be? Make sure you are somebody that isn't embarrassed to meet her son. Make sure that he will see that him being adopted gave his mother the ability to become somebody special to many. You will be okay, he will be okay. ↑ |
| Name: dont understand | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 1:04 PM |
| Why would you give him up after a year. That poor baby. I could never do that. People say that giving a baby up for adoption is selfless, well in this case I tend to disagree. I dont understand why wouldnt you just give him up at birth, yet instead you take a year to build a bond with him then decide you just dont want him anymore? That sound more selfish than selfless. ↑ |
| Name: Beth | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 6:29 PM |
| Hey "Don't Understand" you have titled yourself aptly. You're right you don't understand and therefore should keep your hurtful words to yourself. Instead of judging this young woman why don't you just ask the question, get the answer then make your judgement -- not that your opinion of anyone is worth much -- I think you are rude and should just stay out of the board if you have nothing supportive to add. Obviously Betsy did what she thought was best for her son and that makes placing him in an adoptive home a SELFLESS act!! ↑ |
| Name: To Beth | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 8:21 PM |
| Sorry that you may not like my opinion BETH but like you we are all entitled to one. You can say what you want about me it really dosnt bother me, and I stick by my feelings, I am the mother of four and couldnt even begin to imagine giving my precious 1 year old daughter away. Its not like she isnt old enough to raise this little boy. There are so many programs out there that can help her if she needs help, with money,schooling, daycare etc. And I believe those programs are there to help encourage single mothers to want to raise thier babies themselves. And what exactly do you think you opinion is worth by the way? Like you feel about mine, not much. ↑ |
| Name: Betsy | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 12:11 AM |
| Well for one thing. I lived with him for a year thinking that I could be the mother that he needed to have not intending to give him up but to raise him by myself but unfortunatly things took a turn for the worst when his own father had threatened to kill both me and my son and instead of hiding for the rest of our lives i decided to take my responsibility and do what was best for my son and not for me. I myself were having problems dealing with depression, keeping my bills from being late and not losing my job. So, miss "dont understand"i would appreciate it if you would ask me why i did what I did and then give me your opion because why judge me for what I first wrote when you dont even know me. ↑ |
| Name: Betsy | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 12:14 AM |
| Jessie, I truly welcome what you have to say and thank you for your opion. Right now there is an open adoption between me and my son since the ppl who adopted him are like family to me but I still have the problem of being wishy washy to the whole idea of giving him up. ↑ |
| Name: Dont understand | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 1:42 PM |
| Ever hear of calling the police and getting a restraining order on the father? Who doesnt have a hard time paying bills at times. And like I said ever hear of welfare? They could of helped you with money, food and even schooling and I know they pay for daycare too so you could have done it. Life's not easy. I suffer from depression also and I am married and we still struggle to pay bills on time. But in the end all my focus is on my children and not myself and I look at it as how can I make life better for them. I guess I cant see it from your point of view at all. I can only see it through your son's. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but probably the only one who dares to speak her mind. Whats done is done. I just hope your son has a good family. ↑ |
| Name: Beth | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 5:58 PM |
| To "Don't Understand" You are a hurtful human being. Just leave Betsy alone. These boards are for support not for people who have no self esteem and no life to come on and knock other people down for making a decision that may not be what you would have done. Sounds like you need to up your dose on your depression meds!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Grow up | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 3:12 PM |
| Gotta love the people who hit poor taste just because they dont like someone else's opinion. Whah!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Betsy | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 10:50 PM |
| To "Dont Understand" well if you were in my shoes i think you would have done the same thing, because the friends and family that i have understand and they give me credit for doing what i did...I bet you you never lived on the streets and the only income you had coming in was from drugs,meaning being a drug dealer. So if you cant say something nice or helpful plz i dont want to see it let alone read it. You have no idea what and how are my life is. To Beth, I truly appreciate ur kindness and willingness to stick up for me and whats right. Are you ever online say, yahoo messager?mine is tereleealan write me sometime ↑ |
| Name: Beth | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 2:45 AM |
You're welcome. I wish the best for you and your son -- make him proud!
P.S. No yahoo messenger. We can chat here if you'd like though. ↑ |
| Name: Mandy | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 3:59 AM |
| What a terribly hard decision you had to make for you and your child. I know that you are having a difficult time right now with him not being with you but just try to remember all the reasons you had to give him up for adoption. We adopted a little girl last March and we are still in touch with her birthmom and I know it was hard for her but she knew in her heart that she could not take care of her little girl and I feel it's the same with you. Just know that if it's right in your heart it's right for your son. ↑ |
|
|
