I know you guys must feel overwhelmed at all the responses you are getting, but please don't be afraid. Even though,yes, we are looking to adopt, I would be very happy to just talk to you both about how you are feeling and help you find resources in your area to make your pregnancy easier. In a former life I was trained to be a family counselor, so I would also just like to be a friend you can talk to you about what you are going through, even if ultimately you don't choose adoption. If I don't hear from you, I wish you both the best of luck on your journey.
Jess
[email protected] ↓
|
|
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 2:55 PM |
| hi jess i tried calling you yesterday but all i got was answering machine when is the best tiem to talk to you? ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:43 PM |
Hi Janie,
I am so sorry about that, sometimes I watch our friends two boys after work and I was there last night. Tonight I will be home after 5 Mountain time, which is 7 Eastern, 6 Central or 4 Pacific. Please call me collect 303-665-0868. You can also try my cell phone which is 720-227-4515, but I don't think you can call collect on a cell phone. I really look forward to talking to you. Hang in there, I know this is a very difficult time for you. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:46 PM |
| okay i'll call you tonight. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:49 PM |
| By the way i don't feel very good today. i'M crying a lot and it's just toughhh today. ↑ |
| Name: Jackie | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:53 PM |
Janie .... (((((((hugs))))))))
If you need to talk to someone -call me .... I am available RIGHT NOW or anytime ...... I am so sorry that you are feeling sad.
If you want to call me its toll free ..... 1.888.759.5188
I look forward to talking with you :)
Jackie
www.momdad2bee.com ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:58 PM |
| thanks jackie i'll call you today probably ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 3:59 PM |
| I am so sorry you are having a bad day. Did anything happen or is it just that you don't feel well and it is starting to take a toll on you? I am at work right now, but you can call my cell if you want to talk, I can also call you, but I know you probably aren't comfortable giving out your informatiion. But I will check here all day if you want to keep talking via the board. My husband is also at home right now if you want someone else to talk to. His name is Mike and he is wonderful to talk to also. But if not just call me later and we can talk as long as you like. Is there anything I can say or do right now to make you feel any better? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 4:09 PM |
thanks Jess i think my body is just hurting especially my back and feet also i keep having to go the bathroom. i'm just so stressed and worried about everything it's just so hard right now
and my emotions are all over the place thanks for writing back ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 4:25 PM |
| That is only natural. Pregnancy is tough enough as it is and I am sure all your emotions feel so mixed up right now. Are you able to relax at all during the day or do you have to go to school or work? My best advice is just try to relax as much as you can and cry as hard and as often as you need to. This is tough stuff you are dealing with right now and your emotions are so normal. Just try to pamper yourself and keep your spirits up too. Maybe try some ice cream and chocolate, that always helps me cope on a bad day :) I will be here all day if you need me and if you are interested I think our website might be working tonight if you want to check it out. I am not the most savy when it comes to websites, so I can't make any promises, but the address is www.achild2love.com. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 4:30 PM |
| i do work at a hair salon but i took some time off because i was having troubles doing my job. but hopefully i'll go back to work in a couple of weeks. my back and boobs are really sore today. ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 4:49 PM |
| Do you have a tub you can soak in for a little bit? I know that always helps me, I just think when you are pregnant you have to make sure that the water is not too hot. I think Tylenol is also safe for the aches and pains, have you tried to take any pain relievers? I know this might seem weird but a tennis ball rubbed on your lower back also feels pretty great if you are sore. Have you ever heard of Crocs? They are these great rubber shoes that are great for people who are standing all day, they might be good when you go back to work to cut down on some of the back pain. I wish I could tell you that you will start feeling better soon, but I know it gets harder the further along you get. You'll have some good days and some bad days along the way, just try to remember that you are creating a life and that is hard work. Even when your body hurts though just try to keep your mind positive. I know that is not easy when all the hormones are taking control, but it is important for you and your baby. Is your job being understanding about your taking time off? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 4:58 PM |
| Jess yeah i do have a bathtub and i'm gonna use it soon. my work so far has been cool. but it is a job where i am on my feet a lot are those shoes expensive? moneys tight right now ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 5:18 PM |
| The shoes are around $20, but I will warn you they are not the cutest, but they really work. Dr and nurses wear them a lot, so you might have seen them before. I know you said money is tight, as I can imagine, are you able to get any help from your folks or the dad right now until you decide what to do? How long have you been working at the salon? What do you do there? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 5:26 PM |
Hi jess i answer the phones and shampoo some customers i
also clean up and stuff like that. i want to be a hairstylist so i'm glad to be working there. as for the father he helps a little. ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 5:41 PM |
| That sounds like a good plan. Working there will really help you see for sure if you want to be a stylist. My mom was a stylist for years. I am not sure how though. I was always that kids with the crooked bangs in school and my mom was the professional!!!! I wanted to do hair and make-up for a long time and they even had a training program at my high school, but my parents wouldn't let me and by the time I was out of high school I changed my mind. But at almost 30, I still love having friends come over and giving them makeovers, so that would be awesome if you could make that dream happen for yourself. Have you and the dad talked about the possibility of adoption vs. keeping the baby? What does he think? Do you have any idea what kind of adoption you might want, open, semi-open or closed? (If I am getting too personal just let me know, I don't want to pry or make you feel uncomfortable at all) ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 5:59 PM |
| yeah jess wev'e talked about adoption and such and if we did it i would want it to be open i think. oh i don't know ahhh anyway i have always loved to do hair and am always looking for my next project on a girlfriend. thanks for talking it does help a little ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 6:26 PM |
| jess are you there? i'm scared, well i keep having to run to the bathroom i guess i ate something bad and i'm so cold i hope i'm not getting sick ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 6:43 PM |
| I am glad you are starting to feel a little better. It's amazing how just talking to someone helps. Where you live do you have to go to school to do hair? I know here you do, but I am not sure about other places. How exciting it would be to have a career where you spent all your time making other people look great, so they feel better and more confident about themselves. Would you want to work as a stylist in the shop where you currently work? If you guys choose adoption, I think open or semi-open is a great choice if you feel comfortable having some involvement and it wouldn't be too hard for you. Obviously I will never know what it feels like to place my child with another family, but I have read a lot of stories from birth moms and children who were adopted. They mostly seem to feel that a more open adoption is beneficial for everyone. You would still get to know your child and watch them grow. I have done so much research and have learned so much that I want to be able to share. Is there anything you have questions about, being pregnant, adoptions as a choice, or just about us? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 6:46 PM |
| well i do have questions about pregnancy and labor i mean i know everyones is different but i'm scared about how much my body will change and i worry about the pain in labor and how long that might take. ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 7:23 PM |
Hi Janie,
I definitely don't have all the answer as I have never been pregnant to term so all I can share is what I have learned and heard from friends. Do you have a belly yet? If not really your belly will continue to grow as the baby gets bigger, as will your breasts. You may notice changes in taste, smell or your skin may get patchy colors or grow more hair than usual. Your breasts will probably stay sore for most of the pregnancy, but the morning sickness if you still have that should get a little better as time progresses. Towards the end your breasts may even leak a little milk which is normal. Labor is different for everyone especially depending if it is natural labor or a C-section. Either way you can choose to get pain killers which won't harm the baby. A natural birth is easier to recover from, while a C-section is major surgery and there is a lot of healing time involved. Have you been seeing a doctor for the pregnancy? They would have a lot of info they could share about issues during pregnancy and delivery. If you are still feeling really tired, taking a prenatal in the morning will help, although you will probably still be exhausted later in the day. Also if you sleep with a pillow between your legs that may help with some of the pain in your back because it takes pressure of your spine. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 7:49 PM |
| wow jess thanks for all the info. yes i do have a dr. and definetly have a belly. not sure about the labor option i'm not to huge on pain so meds will be used. but i don't know if i'll get a c section or not i'm just so nervous and scared about that when the time comes. thanks again for your support and i look forward to hearing from you soon ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 7:59 PM |
| No problem, I just hope having someone to talk to helps. Did the doctor say a C section may be an option? Some docs will only do it in an emergency, but a lot of women ask to have them because you know exactly when you will be having the baby, so it is not a stressful just waiting for it to happen and being scared. I am sure you are scared about that day. Even if other people tell you their story, you have no idea how things will go for you, that is the scary part. I know women who were in labor for 40+hours and then there are those like my sister who in a half hour was in and out of delivery. But I think being younger and if this is your first child, it may take a little longer. Have you thought about doing any child birth classes or anything so you get a little more comfy with the delivery part? Do you know yet if dad or anyone else be helping you in the delivery room? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 8:14 PM |
| jess i probably will be taking a lamaze classes and as far as being in the room with me i don' t know if i want the father to be there. i know i need some support maybe i can find a coach at the lamaze class what do you think? 40 hours of labor ugh no fun. a C section could be a possibilty. ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 8:23 PM |
| I think you should definitely have support during delivery whether it is a natural birth or C-section. I think normally you pick someone to bring to Lamaze class with you, but if you call ahead they may have someone or even the instructor that can help you. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your folks or extended family, but they may be an option too. Also if you choose adoption you can also have the adoptive parents there to help. I think 40 hours is unusually long, somewhere in the 20's is more normal. But you are not in pain or pushing that whole time. When the process first starts it might just feel like period cramping or bad gas. The hard contractions and pushing are more at the end. It might also depend on if you go early or later in the pregnancy. Do you know when you are due? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 8:28 PM |
| i'm due may 15th and i don't think my family will help me with the delivery. i will call ahead for the lamaze class and see if someone there will help me. my big problem right now is my stomach, i keep having to run to the bathroom. i hate this ↑ |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 8:47 PM |
| I am not sure if I told you before or not but I was due in May also. We were supposed to have twins on our anniversary May 25th, but I miscarried at 6 weeks and we found out that I can't carry a baby to term. So how many weeks does that make you now? Unfortunately I don't know of anything to help with the potty issues. But I am sure it gets irritating having to go so much. But I guess at least you know the baby is growing which is why there is all that pressure :) Are you still feeling so achy or were you able to relax and take a bath? ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 8:51 PM |
| Oh im so sorry you lost your babies. I'm still tired and achey but the bath helped for a little while. i'm 17 weeks tomorrow. it is annoying to keep going potty but iguess your right that means my baby is growing. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 9:12 PM |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 9:13 PM |
| Name: Jess | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 9:15 PM |
| Thanks for your sympathy. It was very hard, still is, but I can still be a mom. I think some people are just mean to adopt. ↑ |
| Name: Janie Walsh | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 9:15 PM |
| good i was just getting lonely here. is it normal to be so moody and emotional? i cry for no reason and then i stop and start the whole thing over again. ↑ |
|
|
