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Lets make this a whole new forum...what it was meant to be. I'll start it off by shareing my story. I met my husband just after we had both turned 19. In April before our 21st b-day we were married. We knew 9 mths. into our relationship that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and start trying to have a baby. For almost two years My husband would go to the store every mth and get a pg test and we never once got a pos. response. It was heartbreaking. I was so depressed about not being able to give us what we wanted which was a family I even told him to divorce me so he could have a chance for a family with somone else. We just kept talking to each other and shareing our feelings and it brought us closer together. At that point he went and got tested. Found out that he had a very common problem really. He had too many extra blood vessals around his left testicle and the Dr. thought that with as little output as he had that there was a blockage on the right side. So my husband had the surgery that was supposed to fix him......They went in a cut and burned off the extra vessel's to cool down his package so he could make sperm on the left side...and he did a rectal ultrsound to see if there was a blockage anywhere...which there wasn't. At his first count after the surgery he was at 10....his second was 12. So he wasn't fixed. After his first deployment to Iraq started I started my tests. My hormone level's were normal, my ultrsound was normal...they didn't think there was anything wrong as far as fertility...except that by this time I hadn't had a period in almost a year. The mon before thanksgiving I started having severe pain in my lower abd. I tried to wait it out for three days...but finally I couldn't hold out anymore....I couldn't even walk it hurt so bad. I had to get my mother to drive me to the dr. and of course she was mad cause I had waited so long...she was thinking it was my appedix. This is when they did the Cat scan and low and behold it showed cysts all over my ovaries. So one had ruptured and that was the cause of my pain. She sent me to a spec. who did a vaginal ultrsound......both of my ovaries were completely covered with cysts sum the size of dimes. He is the one who dia. me with Polycystic ovarian syndrome. And to top it off my PAP had come back with abnormal cells. All this I delt with alone...just being able to talkt o my husband once a day for about 10 mins if the lines weren't down. After he got home we had to move to post where we saw new doctors. We were informed that with his count being as low as it was and my conidtion that even with treament it was a .5 % chance of us being able to conceive. And to this day I still have abnormal cells on my cervix even after dozens of scrapes and pap's and biop's. I've already had one LEEP done and they can only do two more before I have no cervix left which mean they would have to give me a hyst. After he was deployed the second time I did find a birthmother online...not here but on a game site I play on. I didn't even know she was preg. for a few weeks....we just talked.. Got to know each other. Thats when she told me she was preg. with triplets at 18 and she already had a 16mth. old little girl. She knew she couldn't afford three more...she was having a hard enough time with just being able to take care of her baby girl. And she talked about maybe sep. them to diff. couples but didn't know if that was right or not. I just tried to support her and make sure she knew that it was totally up to her. We had been looking into adoption for a while and still weren't sure we could do it. When she asked me if we would take them is when we decided to adopt. During the pg. she lost one of the boys. And being that there was only two left a boy and girl she wanted to make sure we would still take them . I spent my time running around and getting the nursery ready for 2 babies. I have clothes for both up to 4T. About 3 mths. before her due date she quit contact. After the first week of hearing nothing I knew she had changed her mind. We didn't hear anything else until sept. when she left me a mesg. saying she had the babies.Nothing after until a few weeks ago...She then told me that the babies were born with a lot of medical probs and she turned the machines off instead of making them suffer. She is pg. with a little girl now who is due the first week of july and has decided to parent. So now all of you know my story how about shareing yours. ↓
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| Name: Lisa | Date: May 21st, 2006 4:56 PM |
Hi, Mrs. A.M! Thank you for sharing your story... Here is mine.
My husband and I will be married four years this September. When we met, I had just come out of a four year relationship that ended with my bf maxing out all my credit cards and overdrawing my checkbook. I felt unprepared for another relationship and one night in having a heart to heart friend talk, I told my future husband that very thing (I had no idea he was even thinking about asking me out). Later he told me how devastated he had been by that comment and it took him several more weeks to build up enough courage to finally 'make his move'! Well, long story short, we were married nine months later, on September 28, 2002. We both knew immediately that we wanted to start our family...we assumed like so many other ignorant people, that when we decided to go ahead, it would just happen. Before marrying, I had used three types of birth control every single time, as we were so determined not to become single parents. The week we were to be married, I stopped using every kind of birth control and we hoped to be pregnant within a couple of months. Close friends of ours who were both younger and single, were expecting their first baby a month after our wedding and we excitedly planned for our babies who would hopefully be about a year apart! After six months without a single positive test, we went to see our doctor. She assured us that six months was more than normal and to come back in another six months if we had not yet concieved. She told us she doubted there would be a need for that visit and was sure she would see us before that for prenatal visits. Six months later, I made another appointment. She immediately sent me to the infertility specialist and after several invasive tests, many invasive questions and thousands of dollars later, we still have no explanation why we have not concieved naturally. We just haven't. During these three years, around us, other single friends were getting pregnant and having babies like it was world's easiest thing to do... One in particular, needed much support and help, which she sought in us and our home. Her daughter spent weeks at a time in our home, winning over our hearts and filling our home with sunshine. But the truth always remained, she was not ours and she always left after a couple weeks or so. A month after our wedding, our friends had a baby boy who we also got to spend a lot of time with and have made many fond memories. This winter, they decided maybe they wanted another baby soon... a few weeks later, she missed her period and sure enough, they were pregnant again! Even though your heart aches for yourself, you can never resent someone having a baby of their own to love. She is a wonderful Mommy and truly loves her son, so I can only be happy for them. She has let me be totally involved with this pregnancy and it helps sooth the hurt in my heart a little. I will never allow myself to become that physo barren person that everyone whispers about that can't walk near the baby section in town, skirts around the pregnant women at the supermarket or cries bitterly when they get a baby shower announcement in the mail. Baby A, who spent much of her first two years of life in and out of our home, was the final push we needed to move toward adoption. Her mother asked us shortly before her second birthday, if we would adopt her and raise her. We eagerly agreed and she came home for the last time! We were so happy to finally be able to move toward keeping her permanently. Two months after she moved in, her mother called to say she was moving out of state and wanted to see A one more time before she left. She would pick her up on Monday and bring her back on Wednesday. We had no legal rights established yet, so we packed her bags and with sinking hearts, we let her go. Sure enough, when Wednesday rolled around, her mother wouldn't answer our phone calls and never showed up. My husband sat up until midnight every night for nearly a week, just in case she would come back home. About a week later, we found out that A was at her grandparents, (who had been ordered by the court that they were not allowed to have her live with them, because of a child abuse record). Grandparents had offered her mom several thousand dollars if she would just bring A to them and allow her to 'stay' there. They convinced her that if she let us adopt A, that we would cut her off from her life and she would no longer be A's Mother. The money talked loudly and she took her several thousand and ran to Arizona. Shortly after, the bdad, who had never given a hoot about A, learned that A was at the grandparents again and because he knew about the child abuse record, he immediately showed interest and won over their trust. When he got them to agree to a visit, he took A and never brought her back. Of course, the gp's couldn't do a thing to fight it, as they weren't supposed to have A in the first place! The confusion and insecurity that dear little A had to go through in those two short years, was so hearbreaking for us, that we made a decision that we wanted to keep one precious little soul from the hurt that she has suffered from the life she was forced to be a part of and we could do just that through the miracle of adoption. We agreed that our true desire was to be parents, to nurture and love a child. We do not have to 'give birth' to the child to love it as our very own. I was adopted as a toddler, so adoption was already very near and dear to my heart. After doing extensive research online about adoption, all types, I was saddened by all the negative talk, experiences and thoughts surrounding adoption. It made me even more excited about the prospect of adopting. If I can bring one more wonderful adoptive story into this world of questions by giving one precious child a wonderful adoptive family, it will make us so very, very happy.
And that's my story... sorry it got so long, but the road of infertility to adoption can never be short, can it? I want to wish all my fellow travelers the very best!!!
~ Lisa Armstrong ↑ |
| Name: Mrs. A.M. | Date: May 22nd, 2006 12:46 AM |
| No the stories are never short....I guess I forgot to put in mine we have been together since oct. of 99 and married since april 2001. Thanks for shreing yours......anyone else? ↑ |
| Name: ummm | Date: May 22nd, 2006 1:04 AM |
| Wow Mrs. A.M. I think that was a bit to much info! ↑ |
| Name: J | Date: May 22nd, 2006 1:51 AM |
| No negativity just your story. Let's see if we can get a support forum going. Thanks. J ↑ |
| Name: Not trying to be Negative BUT | Date: May 22nd, 2006 4:24 AM |
| Just remember too many details can give away to much info and make you more vunerable to scammers. It's ok to tell your story and be honest but too much info is setting yourself up especially on this board! ↑ |
| Name: Mrs. A.M. | Date: May 22nd, 2006 1:01 PM |
| Anyone else with an infertily or sdoption story? ↑ |
| Name: Mrs. A.M. | Date: May 22nd, 2006 11:03 PM |
| Now there is a long list of names of people looking to adopt...but only two who are willing to share their stories? ↑ |
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