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Well we just lost another one... is any situation ever gonna work out, or are we destined to be childless... ↓
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| Name: 2poms4us | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 1:42 AM |
Hey Patty,
I am so sorry to hear your news- I know you must be heartsick. Please try to keep your spirits up and keep the faith. When the child meant for just for you is in your arms- these terrible times will behind you.
Best wishes,
Karen ↑ |
| Name: califadoptee | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 1:50 AM |
Keep the faith - We've only been trying a year, but seems like forever - we've had 2 failed adoptions (and several scams) and can relate to the feelings that we may never have children. I had a relative even ask the other day, how far would we go until we gave up. We're not giving up! Hope things take a brighter turn for you soon - and the same wishes go out to all those who are waiting to create their families through adoption!
Susie ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 2:45 AM |
| we've been at this since 1999, thank you for the nice thoughts, i would pursue finding a surrogate that didn't charge so much, i guess you call her a compassionate surrogate, surrogacy is illegal in michigan though where we are, could get tricky. we may have to quit after one more year of this.... ↑ |
| Name: Deanna | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 3:20 AM |
| Patty, have you thoughtof state adoption. I know you probably want an infant, but I'd think of it. I'm sorry to hear of your loss though. Keep your chin up and we will always be here for you. ↑ |
| Name: juliedunesnet | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 6:47 AM |
| I'm sorry. What happened? ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 6:13 PM |
| Birth mom found out at doc app that baby has cleft lip and palate and swing jaw. So parents feel they need to keep baby and do not want to put the expense of repair on another couple. ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 8:35 PM |
| Hi Patty sorry for your loss. Adoption is such an emotional rollercoaster. Our first adoption our baby ended up having special needs. We didn't know about that before we matched but it wouldn't have changed our minds. We enjoy each and every day with our son, we've been told by the neurologist that he may have an early life expectancy. We are trying to adopt another, that too has been very up and down. Adoption is not for the weak at heart. It will work out for you, hope it helps that you are not alone and others are going thru it too. Keep the faith and your chin up, it will happen. The agency that I went thru hooked us up in 7 weeks and a friend (who's child is perfectly healthy) in 2 months. It couldn't hurt to give them a call, their name is A is 4 Adoption. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Sep 30th, 2006 10:26 PM |
| We are quite willing special needs or not, their decision to keep baby. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 3:43 PM |
| Thank you for your support, I am plowing on, combing through adoption opportunities and agencies via the Ineternet. I melted down over our disapointment Friday night, called my girlfriend and we prayed together over the phone. So now onwards... ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 7:51 PM |
Patty,
I am so sorry. I am praying that you find the situation you are dreaming of real soon.
God bless-
Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: BRENDA N RICHIE | Date: Oct 1st, 2006 11:49 PM |
| My mom keeps telling me that when that happens it wasnt the right child. There is a special child out there waiting for you to find them, you just have to be patient. God is getting you ready by making you strong for when it happens, dont loose faith. I try to believe when you meet the birth parents of the child that is meant for you to adopt you'll have a special feeling like you had with no other parents you've talked to. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 1:32 AM |
| Well, I know I cannot go through another melt down like I did this past Friday night. Actually it was 2;30 am Saturday... was fortunate I had a dear friend I could get on the phone. But also so tired of disapointments... ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 2nd, 2006 9:29 PM |
| Tell me I'm not too old... I am 54 and hubby is 48, though I seem 40... though I grew up with at least one girlfriend had older parents and she turned out fine. ↑ |
| Name: lisette | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 12:36 AM |
Patty
If birthmoms are picking you it doesn't matter what your age is. You are appealing to them regardless of your age, and they are picking you.
So stay upbeat. You will get picked again. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 1:48 AM |
| Yes, I figured at the start what are the odds at my age, but hubby and I have that much more maturity and wisdom... and since we have been selected three times, who is to say we won't be selected a fourth time that might work... ty ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 1:46 AM |
| Well, it has happened again!!! Emails and a phone call from an agency with offers of babies!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 2:26 AM |
Patty,
What agency do you use ?
Best wishes!
Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 3:28 AM |
We are going through LDS Family Services... I think we are going to pass on the offer from today, just so expensive!!!
Pray we receive a hit from Parent Profiles that LDSFS put us in touch with. Much much less expensive... but then the phrase ya get what ya pay for... Once the fee rises above ten grand, I wonder how bad we want this and sticker shock sets in. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 3:41 AM |
Patty,
I understand! It is hard to give up alot of money for a situation.
I am praying for you ! ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 4th, 2006 5:18 AM |
| Thanks for understanding... ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 4:37 AM |
| perhaps we value money more than life... kind of sad ↑ |
| Name: Wannabfamilyof4 | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 6:19 AM |
| Name: Wannabfamilyof4 | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 6:26 AM |
Patty,
Your comment has hit home for me... We are in the process of having to choose weather we keeping fighting for our 2 year old daughter we have had for 6 months, and go in to such debt it crazy. Or we give her back to her neglectful birthparents, which we love her to death and can't emagine life with out her!! So your comment "perhaps we value money more than life... kind of sad" makes me want to cry. I feel your pain, and so understand your statment. I will pray that a stiuation comes your way that is perfect for you!! till then {{{{ Hugs}}}} ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 6:38 AM |
| My goodness we had a safe haven baby for 3 months, but you had one for 6 and now you have to give back..... unbelievable, just unbelievable, i do know the pain and the feeling of empty arms. Yes incredible debt or a new life, horrible choice. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 4:05 PM |
If you would share your email Wannbefamilyof4 mine is [email protected] would like to chat further.
With all these disapointments I am becoming further and further depressed, and it is really starting to affect my life.
Not sure how to find my smile again. I do volunteer at Children's Hospital in the NICU, but they are not always busy enough to really need me. I guess I need to fine an online typing job... I type 120 wpm ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 4:22 PM |
| Maybe if you change your thinking to expect the next one to be a loss too then that's when the keeper will come! ↑ |
| Name: Shelley K | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 4:23 PM |
Hey Pattyjb,
Sorry to hear about your loss. Have you considered Parent Profiles? We were with an agency going on 4 years with nothing and I felt like I was about ready to go crazy, we decided to try www.parentprofiles.com and within 2 months we had our baby boy? Just a thought......
Good luck and my prayers are with you!
Shelley ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 8:56 PM |
| We are on parent profiles James R and Patricia from MI been with them since May and the hits we received, family reclaimed from us each time, oh with the one exception of a money scam. ↑ |
| Name: codyjody | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 10:39 PM |
| Patty, how many reclaims have you had since may? Thats only 4 months ago. We had a reclaim in March, a baby boy we had for a week. I can't imagine what it would be like to have more than one, in such a short time! How long did you have them befor the reclaim? Sorry for your loss! ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 5th, 2006 11:57 PM |
| I guess what hurt the most was being made to give the baby girl back from the safe haven program last year, we had her 3 months and i never expected to have to return her. Since May we have had 3 live hits from parentprofiles but 2 of them well one baby went to grandparents and the other they wanna keep baby and fix the malformations, the 3 was a money scam, was only interested in money. No clue if we will get another live hit and/or if it will pan out... or not. Really hard to keep a good attitude when you are constantly met with failure. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Oct 7th, 2006 4:24 AM |
| Well we just figured out that unless a baby comes through our church which is not prohibitively expensive, adoption isn't going to happen. Get back in the work force and start earning a living again, crud. ↑ |
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