|
|
|
|
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 5:43 PM |
| Hmmmreally, I absolutely am not interested in MOST situations, so for you to say that I post for ALL SITUATIONS ON EVERY board is nothing morer than mere bull. My webmaster is a friend who did my website for me out out the goodness of her heart, and will update it when it is convenient for her! She did a beautiful job on it, and so I am sorry it was not updated on YOUR time table. My son only turns 5 months old 4 days ago, so also it is not your business! EVERYONE on here knows I have shared the news about my son from day one! Because I don't have pictures posted on my webprofile yet so you the noseybody can see his beautiful blue eyes is JUST TOO BAD ! I have not lied no way no how, and I resent your nasty attitude. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:07 PM |
| hmmreally, I have NEVER called a situation off. You must be talking about the Shauna situation. We decided not to work with her after talking with another IP that is on here and she told us Shauna was talking to other IPs along with her. We were told she was only talking with us. She told us we were it, she wanted us but wanted to meet us in person also. Too me I thought we were matched. To her we were not. So that was not a match! I will not be matched with a birthmom that I don't feel comfortable with. As far as surrogacy. I loved the surro mom that we were talking to. I did get sick. They doctors tell you the worst things upfront and then come in and say Oh sorry it was only this. But, I was not going to take the chance of bringing a new born into a family that I may not have been able to give her my full attention as she was growing up. Atleast I was honest and upfront! I did not keep any of this from our surromom! I wished our surromom the best and know she is matched and has found a great new family. I prefered to make sure I was 110% before I decided to move forward again. I have not posted about a situation on here until a month or so ago for that reason. And yes we have been looking into adoption a beautiful 5 yr old little girl. She has had a very rough life and we hope we can give her a new family that will love her and not leave her starved and shaken. We hope to take her into our family and let her know she is loved and we will be there for her her whole life. And we have not decided yet not to adopt a new born or move forward with surrogacy. We have no secrets, we don't tell lies on here! But, you can't even post your real name. Shame, Shame! There are many people that hide behind sir names and made up names to make sure they are not found out. My name is out there do your research! Find out my age my background and that my Dad was a cop for 35 yrs. I have no secrets. Find out my DHs father is a respected surgeon. Look all you want we have a great family that any birthmom could be proud to say I picked them because they were wonderful. And as far as Carolyn I know she loves her son and talks of him often on here and she does not hide the fact she adopted him or that she is matched with a BM. If she did you would not know it! As far as Patty, I don't know her so I can not say. But, look they all use their REAL names. I know I typed alot but, some people just should not be on here! Hope everyone had a great holiday. Tamara ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:11 PM |
| Go Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: hmmreally | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:41 PM |
| Well as I see it, you only post your real names to solicit situations I am sure you all have other names here ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:50 PM |
| I knew I forgot something. To me it seems this hmmreally person has a beef with myself, Carolyn and Patty.Maybe we pushed a button with her before. But, at that point she was here using another name. Maybe she has never been matched or maybe she is a BM that has been taken advantage of. Either way, don't come after people that are real on here. The bad thing and the good thing is I have told no lies. And I did tell our surromom when I thought I was very ill. Luckily I was not. I have talked to Shauna on here since our situation ended. Are we best friends NO! But, I wish her son well and hope he doesn't get ill again. Do I think she took advantage, maybe. There is no proof in alot of this. We all get on here to find one thing our children. The sad thing there are scammers! IPs and BMs. There are many Janets on here in different forms and different names. Just as their are many BM scammers such as Michelle Abrego that scammed us back on 2004. Good Luck to all that are hoping to find their child or children by adoption or surrogacy it is a hard road. Tamara ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:53 PM |
| No Hmmreally..... do your research. Alot of people will tell you. I do post for situations here and do post when I see someone lying or posting BS about others. I use this post area and my real name. Look around it was only 2 wks ago I was in a heavy discussion with another poster. Look back you can read all about it. So Hmmreally what is your real name? What name did you post under before today? Tamara ↑ |
| Name: codyjody | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:57 PM |
| *****Well as I see it, you only post your real names to solicit situations I am sure you all have other names here******* After yesterday, I honestly thought about starting a new name.. But decided I would not stoop as low as the recent fake nammers here!.... Like my mom use to say.....Go blow it out your nose, Thats the only place your comments belong! Jody Jackson...... ↑ |
| Name: Jessica Sue | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 12:22 AM |
| hmmreally • Date: 11/29/2006 14:41:15 "Well as I see it, you only post your real names to solicit situations I am sure you all have other names here" You have some nerve hmmreally, you don't give your real name and yet you accuse others of using other names. Hypocrit. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 1:45 AM |
| Thanks Tamara! Jessica Sue you are so right. It is easy Hmmreally to slander as us as she hides behind her alias. ↑ |
| Name: juliedunesnet | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:08 AM |
| Hmmm what is your name? ↑ |
| Name: momof1 | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:26 AM |
| I just have to respond on this, this is to stick up for Tamara. I was the surromom that she was working with. She did not lie to me, she was always honest and upfront about everything. We talked for quite some time, and she became ill. And I respected and understood her decision about not going forward with the surrogacy. She is a wonderful person, and I still call her a friend. HMMREALLY....you need to stop accusing people of things that you obviously know nothing about. The other ladies that you are bashing are wonderful people. Sorry I just had to had my two sense in. People like hmmreally annoy the hell out of me. They just want to come on here and cause trouble. Everyone else, I hope your doing well! ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:27 AM |
| Julie, I asked her what her name was earlier and she did not answer or reply to the post after that. SAD! Carolyn-You are very welcome! So Hmmm what is your name or should I again ask, what name did you post under before today? Tamara ↑ |
| Name: kcg.65hotmail | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:49 AM |
| i don't know if this was meant at anyone specifically but I totally agree that things should be said about people doing this.... just so everyone knows... we have an approved homestudy thru an agency for adoptions infant thru 12 which is what we are looking for and we are special needs approved. If anyone has any encouragement for me I would love to hear it because we were hoping to adopt a child thru the fister care system and are getting discouraged because we are not as considered because we have had no previous children... don't get me wrong.... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.... I'm just saying that we thought we could adopt and it is just getting more difficult although we have lots of experience with kids and special needs and have taken soooo many classes...its just discouraging :( But we're willing to do whatever it takes :-) ↑ |
| Name: kcg.65hotmail | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:50 AM |
| i don't know your situations or if they are true.... but it is sooo hard to trust people over the net.... ↑ |
| Name: vbigelow | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 8:56 AM |
| Thank you hmmmreally. This is extremely valuable as it reveals a truth that PAPs would love to hide, particularly the scam of open adoption. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:04 PM |
| vbigelow, Hmmreally has no clue of what she is talking about. I know for a fact there are IPs that have adopted children and they have open adoptions. They send pictures and phone conversations with the birthmoms. And if you are a true birthmom you need to get to know your IPs if you do you should get a good feel of who they are. Notice hmmreally will not release her name. The people she attacked along with us are here with their names. And they are at home sleeping at 356am in the morning or maybe up taking care of their infant children but not posting about people they don't know. Be positive people it is way too close to the holidays! Again Hmmreally what is your name? Tamara ↑ |
| Name: Jessica Sue | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 2:56 PM |
| VBigelow and Hmmreally both of you revel on the negative and try to find fault with everything and everyone. ↑ |
| Name: hmmreally | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 3:05 PM |
| Actually I do know what I am talking about and if you read my posts I never said this is the case with every PAP, I am saying though it does happen alot. How about when everyone else reveals thier pen names on here then I will but not now and not until such that time. Whatever peoples situation are, they are that thier situations but it is seen time and time again on these boards. How many people here have health issues and are trying to adopt just so they can have a baby they long for before they pass of to fill a void in thier life. I myself have a cousin who has adopted 5 children now ranging in ages from 12 to 1 and was recently diagnosed with a form of cancer that has left her totally unable to care for her children. I would not be so upset by this because things happen but she had to adopt because of a terminal illness she had causing her not to be able to concieve. How many situations are like this and the birth mom never knows that maybe in 5 years the adoptive parent is going to die from the very thing that brings them to adoption. How many girls get involved with a PAP just to learn they dont have a current home study or with PAP's that have not even taken the time to research the laws that are binding in thier state of adoption. How tragic is it in the end when hearts and emotions are a mess because people were not 100% upright and honest with the situation. How do you teach your children the value of honesty when you cant even be honest with yourself? I dont understand the thought process by many of you nor do I care to I am sure it would give me a headache. For example though in posts I see people saying they want a baby to complete thier family, I will tell you I am a mother, babies to complete your family they enhance your family they bring in a new dynamic. Saying they complete your family is like saying you dont love your spouse enough to be satisfied with them for the rest of your life. I firmly believe before a person has the right to have a homestudy completed they need to go through a pyshciatric evaluation and it should be avaliable to birth mothers along with the PAP's homestudy is all I am saying. How many people say they cant have kids yet chose to adopt so they arent passing on a pyschiatric disorder within the family yet it is never disclosed. You are then raising a child in the same disorder you are trying to avoid passing on and alot of it is learned behaviors. And dont tell me that this doesnt happen I have personally talked to PAP's and BM's alike who are trying to avoid familial disorders being carried on yet I am sure this is never discussed in a match meeting. Tamara, you tell vbigelow if you are a true birthmom you get to know your IP's, well let me say one thing reading your posts I feel you really would be a wreck to any child! ANY mom who placed is a true birthmom, what if she is not given the chance to know the IP or what if the IP has the ability to say it how she thinks the birthmom wants to hear it? It is a very vulnerable time for a birthmom when she places and she can be VERY EASILY manipulated by people like You! JMHO ↑ |
| Name: hmmreally | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 3:06 PM |
| Jessica Sue no I will agree there is a very very positive side to adoption when all parties begin and end with integrity and honesty. ↑ |
| Name: hmmreally | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 3:18 PM |
| A very clear example which lead me to this post, after further investigation into the truths of Patty an adoptive parent here Parent Profiles has removed her profile. Dont think I am talking out my blowhole, I do know what I am talking about! ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 3:41 PM |
| Hmmreally you bashing me you have not acted with integrity! You have said that I post to every situation or every board, and yet in reality, I am open to a very small amount of situations. You don't know what you are talking about, as far as my situation. I have mentioned on here many times about me being matched, and also on other sites. I have klept it from noone. I have asked my friend who is my webmaster to please update my website soon just to appease you; again, the info I have shared with everyone from day one states about how I adopted my son in late June. For you to slam me is just outrageous and mean spirited. I have lied to noone, I have kept no secrets from my child's birthmom (yes, we DO have an open adoption), my future child's birthmom (she was here for 4 days last month seeing what life is really like her baby will have here), or ANYONE. I have an approved homestudy, an approved homestudy update, and can offer tons of love and a wonderful life to children and your actions to try to discredit me are mean and disgraceful, and your statements have absolutely no credibility. I am not here to fight with anyone. Even though you have chosen to slam me without cause, I still wish you well and wish you and any other critics, and of course my wonderful friends, a happy holiday season. There is enough negativity in this world; it would be nice if this site could be more harmonius. Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: me2 | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 3:50 PM |
| Hmmmmmmm, I do see where you are coming from on some of your statements. I too have known PAP's that are less then honest with a pbmom. Also I believe you when you say that there are a few who make promises but never keep them. I believe they are acting out of fear and not comfortable and thinking they need to share the baby. But for the most part, in time, they find the way to embrass the adoption, and realize how wrong they were in making breaking that promise. If only those people would get educated. There are far more ap's that do keep their promise. I am proud to know them. As far as "terminal illness" and adoption, it is the fault of the worker who does the homestudy to not insist on physical or medical doc signitures. It is also unethical to hid such a fact from a pbmom. Being diagnosed later, after adoption, is out of everyones hands. Not every state requires a completed homestudy prior to bringing a baby into their homes. I firmly believe that alot of parents (not talking pap's) need to have the same kind of evaluation done. The adoptions of today and are in such a twist these days. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:07 PM |
| Also, Tamara is a very nice person and it is also not fair of you to pass judgement on her either. She will make a wonderful mother. Her illness was luckily not a serious one, and that she pulled out of the surrogacy situation was her choice. Momof1 who was going to be her surrogate still calls her a friend, and harbors no resentment there, so you shouldn't either. As far as Patty, I do not know her, but if she was unable to pass the psych portion, why did Parent Profiles ever publish her site ? They require copies of homestudies, so that entire situation puzzles me. Another thing that puzzles me is about these terminal illness situations you are referring to where people have adopted. Our agency had us submit to a very thorough medical, blood screening, the works. Our MD would never have been hidden cancer, or anything else on these forms for any reason. Does anyone know, is a thorough medical not a requirement everywhere ? If not required, that is an injustice. ↑ |
| Name: codyjody | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 4:48 PM |
| We all had to get medical clearance, even Austin and Allyssa! Blood work and all....???? Jody ↑ |
| Name: kylee528 | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:14 PM |
| Everything was also very thorough with our homestudy. Everyone, including our 3 year old, had to get complete physicals, blood work and a psych eval. Kim ↑ |
| Name: hmmreally | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:53 PM |
| The reality is that every state is different, Carolyn I am not directly bashing you just typing what I see from what I read and see how many others can percieve it. Patty states "Name: Pattyjb • Date: 11/30/2006 10:50:10 We received a safe haven baby March of 2005. Well bio mom returned one week after she left baby at the hospital. It took the state 3 months for that case to wind its way through the court system. We were removed from parentprofiles without our knowledge by our case worker. There was a reason for this, i took anti depressants in the late 80's when my mom had died, and the state of Michigan is now requiring a positive psychological evaluation on anybody who has taken anti depressants anytime in their lives for whatever reason. I am now having a challenge trying to obtain one due to massive depression. Yes, we have lost out in 30 or more placements over our marraige of 8 years by now. What has happened to us is very unusual, that perhaps we are not meant to adopt. As far as the safe haven baby we were made to give back, apparently it is not against the law to reproduce in Michigan without marriage. So you could have five babies and be single and on welfare, because that is what has happened. A child needs a father and a mother who are married to each other and committed to each other and to raising the children they have together. = this is on the child abandonment thread it is a pure example of what I am talking about. So people know her case worker didnt pull her profile, people from here and I wont mention names got together and sent the information to who it needed to go to so that people would be protected especially innocent babies. It is just sad, Carolyn I wish you the best with your family. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 5:58 PM |
| Well now that you know all the facts, I hope our situation makes more sense to you and others who may have "perceived" it differently than it is. Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: wondering | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 6:06 PM |
| "So people know her case worker didnt pull her profile, people from here and I wont mention names got together and sent the information to who it needed to go to so that people would be protected especially innocent babies." TG!! Good work..... to all those involved! The issue with medical situations, etc is that some of these things may not be disclosed and/or may come up after an approved homestudy (as I believe to be the case with Patty) Social Workers, Parent Profiles, adoption professionals can only go by the information they are given. ↑ |
| Name: Honest | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 7:07 PM |
| I just came across this website recently and I must say it is filled with books of information on everyone and their adoption situations. As I said before, your name and personal information should be kept private and off the internet. If you choose to share it with potential expectant mothers, that's just great. But the rest of us don't really want all your personal information, do we?!?!? And we really don't want to follow EVERY adoption situation you apply to. Some of you post every hour of every day on this website, which I know for a fact is nothing but scammers and NO ONE has found an adoption match on BabyCrowd. When do you have time to take care of your newly adopted children? You're on the computer ALL DAY!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 8:12 PM |
| Honest, For me I will check in when my 5 month old son is napping. I don't know who you are referring to about posting every hour of the day, but it is not me,and not Jody. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 30th, 2006 8:45 PM |
| Hmmreally, Lets look at the first issue in your post... she had to adopt because of a terminal illness she had causing her not to be able to concieve. (That to me says your cousin decieved the BMs she worked with she did not tell them she had a terminal illness when she was adopting those 5 children) Again you said, she could not concieve because of a terminal illness. BMs and PAPs that lie to each other are out there. But, to say I lie or Carolyn lies you are wrong. If I wanted to lie I would not have told the person we were working with when I got sick. My Dr told us the worst and it ended up being only a kidney stone. But, my Mom had kidney problems in her 30's and had to take medication. That is why they assumed the worst first! In that I was much better in about a week or so. My major health issue was cyst, endo and non functional tubes. ALL female problems but NOT a terminal illness. Not something I hide from anyone. As far as homestudy papers I have mine and will forward them to a BM or agency as requested and have. There are some agencys that do ask you to go to a councelor before your adoption but, it is not required. ANY mom who placed is a true birthmom,as a child is a birthmom) not just if she places she is a true birthmom-anyone what if she is not given the chance to know the IP or what if the IP has the ability to say it how she thinks the birthmom wants to hear it? It is a very vulnerable time for a birthmom when she places and she can be VERY EASILY manipulated by people like You! (hmmreally----you seem to know all ! You must be the adoption guru....we all should post to you if we ever have a question or need just the right answer!) You can turn that around also and BMs can tell PAPs all the right answers to get them to believe, to get them to think they are the family for their child, to get them to paint, buy clothes and tell their family we were chosen, but in the end the BM is not preg, or is working with 4 or 5 families at the same time just to get whatever she can get. There are scammers everywhere! Look at on the street corner I bet out of 10 people you see atleast one is or has scammed someone. Just in adoption the scammers seem to get worse and worse! Our first scammer of 2 yrs ago tried to come back just a month ago. But, guess what. I was on my toes. I was emailed and asked a question and she is back in hot water again. She was caught on tape and her story aired her on CBS. She served 6m of an 18month sentence for fraud and is now looking at more time. YEAH! I don't like scammers and I don't like liars. I really don't like people that want to talk about others that are here to create their family. Some people were not blessed with the chance to have children and have to look at adoption and surrogacy. And there are women out there that want to help those families. And there are women out there that know what to say and do to scam those families. Hopefully the good people here will continue to help stop the scammers. Sorry everyone for going on but, people that are that negative toward PAPs make me angry. If they don't like us move on go to another site!!!!! Tamara ↑ |
