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Name: Ally

[ Original Post ]

My sister adopted a little boy 5 years ago. he is now 5 years old. She still has not told him anything about adoption. He has no idea that he is adopted. I told her that she should have introduced the word "adoption" from day one, and read stories about adoption to him all the way along. She insists on not telling hime anything. I know I should mind my own business....but I am a school teacher and I would hate to see my nephew learn about his adoption from a classmate. Any advice on how to handle it? ↓

Name: Joi | Date: Feb 20th, 2006 3:00 AM

There are so many good adoption books out there that tell you to introduce adoption early, and not to make it a "dirty word". It makes children shameful of who they are. Does your sister like to read. There are lot of good books at www.tapestrybooks.com. You can also buy your nephew an adoption book. Some times you don't even know they are adoption until you start reading it. Good luck. I hope that it was helpful. ↑

Name: been there done that | Date: Feb 21st, 2006 3:03 PM

My aunt adopted a little boy 27 years ago and he doesn't know he was adopted. She went on and adopted two more who know that they were adopted. It seems to have worked out. I'd follow my sister's wishes. And let the rain settle the dust. I sure wouldn't introduce the subject without her approval. It isn't too late for her to tell him. But if she isn't going to I'd leave it alone. ↑

Name: Linda D | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 3:05 AM

I am 36 yo and was adopted at 3days old. Adoption was ALWAYS a 'word' in my life. I am confortable and proud to be adopted. As little children will ask "tell me the story of when I was born" Well its a LIE if I was told anything other then how long my parents waited, and prayed for a child. And how happy and pleased they where the day I came home. I always KNEW I was wanted and loved and longed for. I knew I was special. I do have a younger brother who was biological, and belive me when I say there was NO difference.
I think , no I know the reason I am so fine with it and never had feelings to find my biological parents is that I was NEVER 'sat down' and given the news, never found out from someone else etc. I personally think that is the way to do it. tell him or her from day one!!! let them know just how loved and special and a dream come true they where. Otherwise I think I would have felt betrayed, lied to etc. Like a coverup for some reason! I feel the exact opposite. I think ALL kids should know the truth, it is who they are and most of all they where a dream come true for a couple who couldn't have children. I know personally , my brother and I where my parents LIFE.
I have no interest to search for my biological parents, but I am thankful I was not aborted, she was young and knew she couldn't give me the life she wanted for me. For that I am truely grateful !!!
Good luck with your sister ! ↑

Name: Joi | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 6:01 AM

Linda,
Thank you for the info, it is always good to hear a great story about being adopt. I hope that we all can put to use your wise words!~~~Joi ↑

Name: rainbow17139 | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 1:26 PM

she sould wait until he is old enough to understand ↑

Name: califadoptee | Date: Aug 31st, 2006 4:02 PM

I'm alo an adoptee and was told so from day one. You nephew is old enough to understand what adoption means - I remember "getting it" when I was 4. Good luck! ↑