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Hello I am a 21 year old girl and a year and a half ago I gave my second son up for adoption. He was a month a half premature and I was raising one son on my own already. I know there are alot of questions and things to wonder and talk about and I would be happy to share with anyone who is interested. ↓
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| Name: Gill | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 10:47 PM |
| My biological mother had and kept her son and then gave me up after I was born. This is the reason I resent for so much, for keeping him, and giving me away. Why keep one and not the other? It couldn't be money because you get more than enough benefits from the State. My cousin had 3 children, no father, no job, and manages well on income support, child benefit etc. You must have had an entirely selfish reason therefore fo giving your second baby away. How cruel. ↑ |
| Name: ~ Jackie ~ | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 11:30 PM |
Corinna - Please dont let the comment from Gill make you feel bad about your decision. The decision to place your 2nd son was done out of love for both of your children!
I am a hopeful adoptive parent - and without women like you .... women like me would never have the opportunity to parent.
I commend you for giving your child the gift of life ..... that says alot about you.
I hope you are doing well Corinna .... and again, you did what you did out of LOVE!
~ Jackie ~
www.momdad2bee.com ↑ |
| Name: Gill | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 11:32 PM |
| How can giving your baby away be an act of love? ↑ |
| Name: Gill | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 11:46 PM |
| Jackie, you support Corinna's decision to give her baby away because you feel you may benefit out of it. You statement 'Because of women like you etc' is testimony of this. But I'M thinking of her baby, and how he is going to feel when he learns his own mother didn't want him. This will be made worse when he discovers she kept her daughter and gave up him. I am in precisely the same situation, so speaking as someone who KNOWS how the child will feel rather than blabbing about my own selfish needs to raise children, her son, regardless of how loving a family he is raised in will feel rejected for the entire course of his natural life. I love my adopted family, but there's not a day goes by when I don't wonder why my mother didn't want me. Her son will certainly not feel this was an act of love. He will see it as it is, an act of rejection and substitution. I support adoption for those mothers who cannot raise their child, or who are unfit mothers. But those mothers who selectively pick and choose their children, decide not to keep them because they would prefer to go to Uni, or don't get on with the father, or basically couldn't be bothered to mother their child don't deserve to have been blessed with a child. But Jackie, I respect your decision to give a child a loving home. But you must respect the baby's wish to be with his/her mother. THAT must be priority, not your wish for children. If you want to love a child, you must put his/her needs first. If the biological mother didn't, then it's not your fault and you do well to take her child. But don't encourage it!! Gill ↑ |
| Name: Jackie | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 12:19 AM |
I really think that you are trying to make everyone around you miserable due to the fact that, for whatever reason, your childhood wasnt a good one - you said it I am not assuming.
You dont know your Birthmoms reasons for placing you for adoption. I am sure it was a very difficult decision and yes, I belive that it was done out of love. The option to carry you to term and deliver you - should make you understand that/ Many women choose the alternative over life!
I hope that you can someday find happiness and love your parents for giving you the gift of life.
~ Jackie ~
www.momdad2bee.com ↑ |
| Name: Gill | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 10:56 PM |
| I'm sorry Jackie, but I don't believe adoption is an act of love. And no, there's no secret. I didn't have a good childhood. My adopted parents preferred my adopted sister, found they couldn't love me, and eventually left me to my godmother, who passed away in April of this year. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in contact with my adopted parents, and I respect them. I also respect their decision not to love me. My father made me aware of this when I was 11. That's when I was passed to my godmother. I don't expect them to love me. They made the effort at least. This is why I'm planning a baby of my own. I'm not full of anger and hate as people like Miranda assume. I'm a sensible person, and I feel I have a lot to offer. Your responses to me are merely negative because they don't comply with your need for a family. I appreciate that need, and I hope you do find a baby to love. I just don't believe we should be making ridiculous statements like adoption is an act of love in order to encourage those like Corinna to give up their own baby, when you are well aware thought you would prefer not to admit it, that a baby belongs with his/her mother. He/she hears her voice in the womb for 9 months, knows her scent, her company, her voice, and when he/she is born, a baby will crave for his/her mother as she is his/her sole source of comfort in this scary world. Being given away to stranger is clinical and sad. And I'm sure the baby does not feel loved at all. It's not that I'm against adoption. I just believe a mother should keep her baby if she possibly can, and with the child benefits a mother receives for keeping her baby these days, it is possible . . . Gill ↑ |
| Name: Allyson | Date: Dec 5th, 2005 2:02 AM |
this is to Gill & Jackie....
i understand both of ur thoughts on this subject. but why are you to going to argue about it ? Gill doesn't like the fact that her mother gave her up for adoption and not her brother (if thats how she refurs to him) and jackie is not able to have children so yes adoption is a good way for her to become a mother. everyone has ther own thoughts and opinion on things. so why can't you both just say find i respect your opinion and be done with it? and to Gill just because your mother gave you up for some reason doesn't make it horrible for someone else to give thier child up for adoption. ↑ |
| Name: Betsy | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 12:02 AM |
| hey there I too had given my son up and yes he was 2months premature so I know how you feel but the question is is how do you cope with the fact of giving your child up? plz email or im me at [email protected] or tereleealan ↑ |
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