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Name: Flowergirl

[ Original Post ]

Does anyone know what happens to the 'unwanted' families' profiles that are sent to birthmoms?

I am asking only because we had sent in our profile a while ago to an agency who agreed to present it to a specific situation. A couple days after recieving it, I was told we had not been chosen and that we could send in our remaining 4 profiles to be sent out for future situations we were interested in, if we wanted to take advantage of the registration fee I had paid.

We never sent in the rest of our profiles, as we weren't set on using their agency, we had just been very interested in a unique situation they happened to have.

Recently they posted another situation we were interested in, so I sent an email to ask if we could overnight a profile to arrive by Monday and be presented. They responded the next day with a [will do], but with Veteran's Day this weekend, I was unable to get our profile overnighted to arrive by Monday, as I had planned. This morning, I emailed her and said since we were probably too late to be presented, we would pass on the situation. She emailed back this evening and said- [OMG I already presented you. what if she picks you]

She shouldn't have a profile of ours to send unless she never sent our one to the first birthmom... or do the birthmoms send them back to the agency to be reused???

I'm sure agency policies vary, but has anyone ever heard of that? I guess I'm just concerned that she's telling us we're being presented and we're actually not, because she doesn't want to bother with us...

Any thoughts anyone? ↓

Name: nyjocool | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 3:03 AM

I don't know the answer for sure. I would ask the agency straight out. I have a feeling you have lost your sense of trust for this agency. It's likely the potential birthmothers return the profiles of the couples they don't select or before sending out the only copy of your profile, they made a color copy of it to keep on hand, just in case that one was lost, etc. They used the copy for the 2nd situation.

I would just ask them-they probably have a logical explanation. I would hate to think they tell couples they are being presented when that's not the case.

Good luck to you! ↑

Name: ajrl223 | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 6:00 AM

Hey Flowergirl:
Our agency recollects the profiles that werent chosen. They ask for it back if they are in person or have a pbmom that is in jail since they can only keep the one that they are going to have as an adoptive couple. Just this week my agency called and said I didnt need to send in a new set since they got 3 returned. They are trying to keep down the cost of making new profiles.

AJ ↑

Name: Flowergirl | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:55 AM

Thank-you both for your responses...

nyjocool, you were right... I was quickly losing my trust in this agency. She has since been much more detailed in her correspondance, letting me know exactly what happened and it has been straightened out.

ajrl223, Hearing that sometimes the profiles are returned was comforting... I had never heard of that before and I was just concerned about everything.

Thanks again, both of you, for your help! ↑

Name: Dreamer | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 5:11 AM

I was told some of them are never returned since they are mailed to the Potential birthmothers.....I guess I never gave it much thought and just assumed that they did not give them back....With the exception of the pbmom's that meet in an attorneys office to review profiles I would think that the attorneys would keep the ones not chosen, and in some cases I did get them mailed back to me from the attorney but then in other cases I had to resubmit a new one....... ↑

Name: califadoptee | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 7:16 PM

It may be that your profile was shown to the bmom in person and she handed it back. In any case, I think you should ask the agency directly how it is they still had a copy of your profile. ↑