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I am fifteen years old and pregnant. It was an accident. I am too scared to tell my parents and my boyfriend is useless in these kinds of situations. It is too late for an abortion. I am considering adoption, but would like to the kinds of emotional issues I am going to go through once my baby arrives. How difficult is it to give your child to someone else? Can I still see my baby? How will I know that he or she is going to a good family? Will another mom who has given up their baby for adoption please help me? ↓
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| Name: deirdre | Date: Aug 9th, 2005 8:58 PM |
| I feel for you, I really do. Why don't you talk to planned parenthood or some such resource for information on adoption? ↑ |
| Name: Shawna | Date: Aug 16th, 2005 8:01 PM |
| I've never given a child up but I have researched the option. I believe you can get what is called an open adoption which allows you to see your child. It's probably something you would have to take up with the adoptive parents. I don't know how many would want that because they want it to be thier own child. Anyway, good luck I think that any decision you make will be the right one as long as you stand by it 100%! Don't doubt your gut feelings, and don't let anyone push you into a solution that you don't whole heartedly agree with. Just think 5 years down the road when your 20 it won't matter what someone else wanted you to do, you don't want resent someone for giving up or keeping your child. ↑ |
| Name: MICHELLE | Date: Aug 23rd, 2005 4:50 AM |
| YOU HAVE TO DO ALOT OF SERCHING IN YOUR HEART.AND BE HONEST TO THE NEW PARENTS IF THAT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE.BECAUSE PREPARING FOR A CHILD AND THEN THE BIRTHMOTHER CHANGES HER MIND .THAT IS HEART BREAKING.THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HUSBAND AND I.MY HEART IS STILL BROKEN AND HURTING.SO JUST BE SURE AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR DECISION.MICHELLE [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: sara | Date: Aug 23rd, 2005 9:04 PM |
tell your parents, a descision like this could really mess you up, if ya too scared to tell ya parents tell a relative that you trust. then they can help you please dont give up your baby. you can still have an education just it ll be a little bit harder. be determanded to get a better life for yourself and baby.. also dump your boyfriend. i gave up mine and a day does nt pass that i wish i kept her. i would now have a six year old, my life has been hell ever since de birth, they don t allow you to see them due to the upset it cause s you, the baby, and the adoptive parents.
Your parents will be mad at you but won t stop loving you TELL them.. or you ll regret it for the rest of your life ↑ |
| Name: Margaret | Date: Aug 29th, 2005 7:16 AM |
| To Scared - I am 22 years old, 7 months pregnant, and currently going through an adoption. I have already chosen a couple to adopt my baby boy and I couldn't feel more positive about my decision. It is difficult to go through an adoption because you are going to grieve for your child...I already do now - but I know he is going to be loved and the adoptive parents will be able to provide him with things that I cannot. I do not have a place of my own, the father of the baby doesn't want to be involved, and I don't even make enough money to support myself...these conditions don't make for a happy and stable enviroment for the baby - and I want my son to have the best upbringing possible, which unfortunately I cannot provide right now. You are able to choose the family your child will be adopted by (every family considering adoption undergoes background checks, home visits, and letters of recommendations) and it is up to you and the parents that adopt your baby to decide how open your adoption will be. Most adoptions do not allow for the chid to see the birthmother after he/she if born...but you will more than likely be able to receive updates and photos if you want. Please view adoption as a positive decision - I myself was adopted as an infant (my birthmother and father were 16 when I was born) and I am forever grateful for their decision. ↑ |
| Name: Tina | Date: Aug 31st, 2005 12:51 AM |
| Hello ! I am an adoptive mom of two wonderful kids, and also a labor and delivery nurse who specializes in adoptions. I would love to answer any questions that you may have. There is a huge variety of adoptions available to you. What you are most interested in sounds like an open adoption. You can choose the amount of contact that you have in the future with the adoptive family. My daughters adoption was also from a 15&16 year old couple and we talk to them regularly and write as well as send pictures. We have had 2 meetings in the last 3 years. I hope that answers your questions if not please feel free to e-mail me. [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Debbie Cornish | Date: Sep 9th, 2005 4:30 AM |
My husband and myself are looking to adopt and we are right now in the search of a birth mom. When we do adopt, because we want to share the adoption with our little one and not give them any surprises in life. I want the birth mom to be a part of their life. I know allot of people prefer closed adoption, but i read all the time how everyone spends years looking for someone. I dont want my adoptive child ever go through that, if the birth mom chooses to have it closed, I will let them know I will keep a great file and we will be looking up the mom when they start asking. I feel the more the child knows the better it would be.
I would surely let an adult know about your situation, right now you have so much fear about telling someone that you may feel much better once this is talked about and you will have a clearer mind. If you choose to go the adoptive way, you are doing nothing wrong, you in your heart knows what you are able to do or not, and what dreams you are still looking to forfill. Talk to someone that can help you, I also will tell you, I was adopting a little girl, we planned it for months, the baby was born early, my husband and I spend 6 days in the intensive care with her, I will tell you, I was afraid to adopt, wondering if I could love a child the same way if I gave birth..I can now answer that, the moment I held that baby in my arms and was told she was mine..I couldnt had felt a stronger love..we both loved her dearly, but sadly the birth mom changed her mind 24 hours before she was discharged from the hospital to our home. It really felt like a death to me. So, I can just imagine what the birth mom must feel! That is why I want to have a special connection with the birth mom, also keep her updated, let her call when ever she wants, and if she lives in my surrounding states, make visits every now and than. I feel the more they are connected with the child, the easier it will be on them, so they are able to persue their dreams, Good luck to all of you, and godbless you all
www.lookingtoadopt.homestead.com
/debsteve.html
[email protected]
t
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| Name: Debbue | Date: Sep 16th, 2005 6:59 PM |
Being pregnant at 15 is scary for anyone, however no matter how tuff it is, tell your parents. you can be surprise how they will handle it. They may give you better support and either keeping your baby or giving it up for adoption will much easier., I am sure anyone making the choice to give up their baby will be hard. thats why its important to get counselling and they will prepare you for the emotional stuff that comes with it. Make sure you feel this is the best thing for the baby, If you feel you are too young, going to school, colledge, than think of yourself right now, a mistake was made, but with the help of your parents or counseller, someone will help you. We are looking to adopt a newborn baby, and when a birth mom comes to us, I want her to feel in her heart this is what she wants to do. Nothing is more heartbreaking than to have a mom change her mind, which is understandable, but heart breaken. Before you ask anyone to adopt the baby, know in your heart its what you want, and your family is ok with it, they will offer you support which will help the grieving proccess. If you want to know how your baby is doing, communicate that with the adoptive parents, I know I will want if the birth mom wants, for her to feel she could call me any time, send her pictures, and always keep her updated, I think this is healthy and makes it easier on the birthmom
[email protected]
www,lo
okingtoadopt.homestead.com/debsteve.html
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| Name: P Sanders | Date: Sep 22nd, 2005 9:43 PM |
| There are many Couples who will agree to an open adoption,where you can have contact whith your child.This is in many cases the most healthy for you and your child.Follow your heart and do what is best for you and your baby. ↑ |
| Name: Anne | Date: Oct 28th, 2005 7:47 AM |
| I was 18 when i first got pregnant and i had to place my son up for adoption. It was the hardest thing that i ever had to do i'm not going to lie. I looked into an open adoption so that i would get pictures and letters uodating my and what he was doing. I went through catholic charities for the adoption and i was able to look though profiles of adoptive families. I was then able to meet with them and chose which one i wanted my son to go with. For me, i looked through a bunch of profiles the first one i looked at happened to be the family that i happened to later pick. I hope that this helps you. i hope that everything will be alright ↑ |
| Name: annie | Date: Oct 29th, 2005 7:21 AM |
| It is going to be the hardest, most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. I am 40 and did it when I was a teenager. Even that I know my daughter now, it is still painful to think about it and nothing makes up for the years of longing, the missed birthdays etc. Do not convince yourself that you need to sacrifice your feelings and desires because you are only 15 - explore every option that will make it possible to keep your baby - it is going to be as difficult to relinquish her/him as it will be to care for her/him. You will find many who will encourage adoption - do not be pushed into it - do what you feel it right but know that our ociety is biased towards adoption when the mother is young so when you feel someone is pushing you towards adoption - remember it must be entirely your choice. ↑ |
| Name: Kayla | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 12:01 AM |
| Hi, my name is Kayla. I'm not sure if I can really help you or not but I am 9 months pregnant. I am giving my son up for adoption simply for the better of himself. I want him to have things that I never had. I am only 16 and still living at home with myparents. What kind of life is that? I want him to have better. I, myself, have not gone through giving him up yet, but I have been meeting with an Adoption Agency and I have selected the couple. I have also had dinner with them to get to know them. (That's how you know if they're good ppl or not) (They also have to go through a HuGe jhomestudy and a lot of background checks) Sorry If I couldn't helpy ou.. ↑ |
| Name: Roberta | Date: Nov 13th, 2005 2:20 AM |
I was 16 yrs old and got pregnant. I chose to put the baby up for adoption because I loved her and I wanted her to have a future. What else could I give her? I was still in high school and loving her wasn't enuff. A future is all I could give her at the time. She needed two adults who had the means and maturity to give her what she needed. At 16, It was a very difficult thing to do because I loved her and I cried alot for a long time. The pain was never forgotten but it got easier to bear over the years. At 50, I can honestly say I've never regretted my decision because it was the right thing to do. Also, I finally chose to see my baby in the hospital before the social workers came to take her and for me seeing her was a good decision. I also named her. That name was on her original birth certificate but....I am sure her adoptive parents re-named her. I got to hold her, kiss her, pray over her, tell her I loved her and tell her good bye. In 1971 I had a closed adoption. Nowadays...there are 'open adoptions' where birthmothers usually have some form of limited contact. Please consider going thru a reputable adoption agency where social workers screen and interview prospective adoptive parents even well after the adoption has taken place. You need to protect your child and yourself from unscrupulous, unstable people seeking newborn babies.
I hurt for you because I know what you're facing regardless of what you decide. I pray for the best for you and your child. ↑ |
| Name: Samantha | Date: Nov 15th, 2005 3:20 AM |
| I don't know how hard adoption is because i've never went through it! But if you can't support a child then i think it's best to give them up so they can have a better life with a family who can provide for them. My husband and i Have a 3month old son and are now looking to adopt a little girl newborn - 3 yrs old , our family will be complete as soon as we can adopt our little girl wherever she may be! If any of you would like to talk feel free to email me @ [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: raeagn | Date: Nov 15th, 2005 4:11 AM |
| I have not given a child up, but I am VERY interested in adopting a child. I am 3o years old and not able to have kids. I can feel for you in this time of sorrow, but just know deep down that your child will love you for giving them the life they deserve. Open adoption is more common these days. In MY eyes this includes the child always knowing who the birth parents are and the ability for them to be involved the child growing up. Birthdays and holidays etc... ↑ |
| Name: Melissa & Tim | Date: Nov 22nd, 2005 2:40 AM |
Scare - Margaret & Kayla
(Engagement picture)
Hi, we are Tim & Melissa Hennis. Thank You for taking the time to read our letter! We admire your incredible strength and determination to find a loving and stable home for your baby. We feel that placing a child for adoption is the ultimate act of unselfish love and we really hope that the openness in your adoption process will give you the support you need and deserve. As you learn more about who we are, we hope that you will consider our home for your baby.
We both have always dreamed about having a family. From the time we met, we wanted to have a family together to be able to share in the closeness only a family can have. For the four years that we have been married we’ve dealt with miscarriages, tubal pregnancies and failed IVF. Our strong desire to have a family of our own and to be able to share our love is so big that the transition of deciding to adopt was an easy one, there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel.
(Wedding picture)
We met through some friends, started dated and got engaged after three years of dating. We are true soul mates and best friends. We got married in our home town with lots of friends and family and had a beautiful wedding. Shortly after being married we purchased our first house together and have spent a lot of time making it a wonderful home. We are both from the Ohio area. We love the outdoors, camping and fishing mainly. We have taken a lot of weekend trips to different cabins just to get away and we also go to Canada twice a year for fishing trips with both families, and just can’t wait to have a child to share all of our wonderful family vacations with
(Picture with Jimmy)
Tim works for the Village that we live in and has been employed there for 5 years. Because of the flexibility of his job, it will allow him to spend quality time with his family. Tim is a happy, fun loving person with a great sense of humor. People are drawn to Tim’s personality being he enjoys life and is a kid at heart. Tim is quite the handyman and is able to fix just about anything around the house. Tim enjoys golfing and bowling and helping out family and friends. Tim is the type of person that know matter what he is doing when someone needs something he stops what he is doing to help someone else. His thoughtfulness, wisdom, and tenderness will make him an amazing father.
Melissa has been employed with a local Hardware store in her home town for over a year. She is head cashier over 4 part time cashiers. Since we got married, she has stepped down her career to deal with doctors appointments and dealing with the chaos we have had for the past four years with infertility, also working this close to home it makes her available whenever something comes up at home. Melissa’s skills such as listening, empathy, understanding, and genuinely caring about others would be wonderful attribute to being a Mom. Melissa had a very active childhood that has continued throughout her adult years. She participated in activities such as softball and cheerleading.
Melissa also did a lot of babysitting in her teen years. She has always been drawn to children and loves to take care of them. She has a big family and even bigger now that she’s married with lots of little ones around. She always knew and dreamed about having a family of her own. Growing up, her family was constantly together. Her parents instilled a strong work ethic, helping others, and to be respectful to others. Melissa is a very kind and patient person who always see the best in everyone.
(Family pictures)
We both come from very close-knit families. Tim has 1 sibling and 1 niece and 1 nephew. Tim’s family lives close so we are able to see them often and share holidays together. Melissa has 2 siblings and 5 nieces who all live about 45 minutes from us, which we also visit a few times each year. We are excited about having a child to enjoy spending time with and celebrating holidays with.
We live in a 5 bedroom home in a nice family-oriented town. We are excited to welcome a new addition to our home to fill it with toys, giggles, and more love. Our community has some really good schools in the county and all of them are very close. The weather is beautiful changing from season to season, and we are a few hours drive from many amusement parks, zoos, water parks and much more. We have both been raised Presbyterian and come from loving homes. We continue to be strong Presbyterians and enjoy having God in our lives.
(Picture of Lyndsey)
Now meet Lyndsey, she is Tim’s daughter to a previous relationship. She is five years old and is in Kindergarten. She is a very fun loving, well mannered child with lots of energy. She gets to spend every other weekend Friday – Sunday with us and also an overnight during the week. We also alternate holidays with her biological mother. We all, (her father, her mother and two step parents) all get along very well. We try to make the transition for her as easy as possible. Lyndsey also, (on her mother’s side) as a younger sister which makes her a wonderful big sister and she would be a wonderful sibling for your child too. She is very good with younger kids always being the leader and looking out for them. She keeps trying to figure out why we can’t have a baby brother or sister for her.
(Picture of Tim & Lyndsey)
Tim spends every minute possible with her and is a great father. I have never seen a man that can act like a fiver year old as well as him just to make her happy. He enjoys playing in her room and also in the backyard with her. He couldn’t be a better father. Melissa also spends as much time possible with Lyndsey, she is a very loving step mother. She loves Lyndsey as if she were her own biological child. Lyndsey enjoys time with Melissa because she feels secure with her. She shares a lot of secrets with her step-mother. Melissa has given her such a big shoulder to lie her head down on that she relies on Melissa to tell her what is bothering her, and no matter what it is either she will help her or get someone who can.
(Picture of Melissa & Lyndsey)
A child that we welcome into our home will grow up in a home full of unconditional love and tenderness. We will make sure they feel safe and secure in our love and know that we will always support them. We believe in the value of education and will provide these children the opportunity to go to the college of their choice. They will discover their own unique interests and we will do our best to help them reach their goals.
We are excited to welcome a new baby in our loving and caring home to make our family complete. If we are selected, we want to assure you that your child will always know they were adopted, loved by you, and what a tremendous gift you gave when you placed him/her for adoption. We are open to having communication, sharing letters and photographs. So, if deep in your heart you feel that we are the right fit for your baby and that we are the kind of family that you would want your child to be brought up with, please contact us at [email protected].
(Family Picture Tim, Melissa, Lyndsey and Jimmy)
With lots of love,
Tim & Melissa Hennis ↑ |
| Name: lori | Date: Nov 24th, 2005 12:11 AM |
I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation. I noticed your post is a little old, so I was wondering what your situation was now.
If you need someone to talk to, please refer to my website at www.geocities.com/flowergodd
esslori/ouradoptionpage.html
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| Name: Audra | Date: Dec 3rd, 2005 3:55 AM |
| I have not been through what your going through but I would strongly advise you to alert your parents because prenatal care for your baby is very important. I am looking to adopt a baby and I would be perfect finacially as well as capable of loving your baby as if I had given birth and I would give you current updates on he/she including picture's and home video's I just love kids and I think that a kid need love and I would be able to connect with this baby because my mom gave me up and I knew that she did what was best for me and I love her for doing that because now I'm a succesful buisness owner. feel free to call me at 870-247-7649 or 870-329-1364. my email is [email protected] ( I am multi-racial is that okay?) ↑ |
| Name: maestratonya | Date: Dec 9th, 2005 3:27 AM |
| If you're reading this and you're looking for a wonderful couple to adopt your baby, I know the perfect couple. My cousin and her husband recently found out that they are unable to have children of their own. Ever since we were kids she has always talked about having a family. This news has hit them hard. With this new information, they are now looking at adoption. They would make WONDERUL parents. She is an elementary school teacher and her husband works for the city. Please contact me if you would like to know more informaiton about them. [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: luckey_in_life | Date: Oct 31st, 2006 8:00 PM |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Oct 31st, 2006 8:02 PM |
Bumping stuff from almost a year ago makes good sense............
CLICK AND IGNORE............. ↑ |
| Name: Pattyjb | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 12:58 AM |
| Yep yepyepyepyepyepyepyep ↑ |
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