Hello everyone.
Where to start? very long story. I'll keep it short. I met them girl online and moved to be with her. She told me after a month or so she still loved her ex. By that time we was pregant with our baby. All we well kinda for a few more months or so I thought. I know its wrong but I looked at her email and found she had been emailing her ex all along. In one of the emails she said she was sick of me and didnt want the F-ing baby. I told her i read her email and that it hurt me alot she just turned it on me saying I had no right reading it. Well thats been burned in my head and now the baby is here. She does not want the baby and I will be taking full custudy. She is leaving to be with her ex. Now I love my little angel but I know I wont be a good dad. Her family does not want the baby and well my family I dont talk to. I want the my little angel to be happy. I don't think I can do that. Guess I need advice on what I should do. ↓
|
|
| Name: StevenFS | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 4:38 AM |
| sorry for the misspelled words. kinda crying while i write. ↑ |
| Name: michellesnook | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 11:43 AM |
Steven,
If you want to keep parenting, there are community resources that can help you out. Some will help with finances and some might be able to help you with parenting classes and hook you up with other single parents..
If you are looking to place your angel for adoption, then you should really contact an adoption lawyer in your area. They will tell you what you need to know, and help you find a good family for your child.
best wishes,
Michelle
www.
snook.ca/adoption2/profil
e
↑ |
| Name: Joce | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 2:27 PM |
Steve,
I agreee with Michelle. You need to decide if you want to parent your baby. If you want to parent, there are may resources to help you.
If you want to place your baby for adoption, there are lots on online resources to find out the process. Many adoptive couples will have open relationships with the biological parents that inlcude pictures, communication, and visits.
Best of luck
Jody ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 3:18 PM |
Steven,
Hello.
I have a God son named Steven and he means the world to me. He just had a beautiful son in Jan. luckily he has family, friends and more that help him and his girlfriend because he is very young. The easist thing for all of us to tell you is choice adoption. But, I think you should think about your future and your babies future. If you truly think you want to parent look in your area and see if there are free daycares. Women can get on wic and other programs so, so can men. 3 years from now you may be in a committed relationship and be financially and emotionally stable and just need the help for now. If you look inside yourself and you see that you want your angel to have love, happiness and family that you don't feel you can give right now. Then maybe adoption or open adoption is what you are looking for. There are many degrees of adoption now. You can request pictures, letters, calls and visitation. Do research ask questions.
I must tell you we are a couple trying to adopt. But would never push someone to a situation he or she could not live with. We have been hurt in adoption and know our baby is out there and soon we will bring him or her home with us.
If you need an ear to bend or have any questions feel free to email [email protected] or call 832-434-4407.
We hope you get your answers.
Tamara & Doak
www.adoptads.com (tamara&doak) ↑ |
| Name: Dreamer | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 4:00 PM |
Steve,
I would Love to chat with you. I am a stay at home mom and could devote alot of attention to you little one. please feel free to email me
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: wantingadopton | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 6:23 PM |
Steven, I was 18 and alone when I had my first child. I struggled and it was hard but with help I graduated high school, college, and married. I had another child with my husband and then found out I could have no more. There are places to help if you wanna keep your baby. If you need help I can help you. You can e-mail me. We are also looking to adopt if you want to do that. I never regret keeping my son. You can do it if you want. My e-mail is [email protected]. Our website is http://ourfamily03.tripod.com.
James and Amanda ↑ |
| Name: Melis | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 11:46 PM |
Steven,
I wish you the best in whatever you do. My sister-in-law (not knowing she was pregnant) delivered her 3rd baby at 7 months. She thought about giving the baby up for adoption, but by the time she wanted to do it, she felt it was too late. I think that if you feel that your baby will have a good life with adoptive parents then that is the right thing to do, if not you may end up regretting the baby, which isn't fair to them. I hope that your decision will be somewhat easy, there are many places to help you in whatever you decide to do. (How old is your baby?) If you want to talk email me and my husband.
Melissa and Steve [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: StevenFS | Date: Aug 11th, 2006 1:32 AM |
| Thank you all for your replies means alot. I dont know alot of people in this town.People at work but none i can say I call friend. She is 13 days old. 7lb 3.2 oz but she is now 7lb 8.4oz..21 and 1/2 inch long and a 14cm head. Now I am going to look at all my options. Didnt know about all this stuff you told me. I dont want to get anyone's hopes up as I do really love her. But as I said long story but I am not what anyone would call a good dad and I want the best for her. Thank you all again I will keep you all up todate on what i decide. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Aug 11th, 2006 3:44 AM |
Steven,
Glad we all could help you. And if you need anything we are here.
Tamara
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: marilyn | Date: Aug 11th, 2006 4:46 AM |
hello, i agree with everyone who is saying that first off you need to decide whether parenting is the best or if you believe that it would be too much for you on your own and adoption is the best. i have helped alot of my friends thru similar situations and would love to have you as another friend and would definitely devote an ear to listening and doing what i can to help you. please feel free to email me or call. im always here to listen. God bless, [email protected]
828-699-9338 ↑ |
| Name: 2poms4us | Date: Aug 12th, 2006 4:40 AM |
Hey Steven,
We are so sorry for all of your recent heartbreak. Wishing you the very best in making the right decsion for you and your baby. We are looking forward to creating our family through open adoption, where would have an on going relationship through visits and photos. If you have not considered open adoption you may want to look into it. We also have a profile at http://home.nc.rr.com/karenandphil and a toll free number 1-866-814-0756 if you would like to talk about your situation.
Best wishes,
Karen and Phil ↑ |
| Name: mommyboo | Date: Aug 13th, 2006 4:35 AM |
| WOW you are a very good man to step up and take your baby.It has to be hard!!!My husband and I have 3 boys and are in search of finding a baby girl to raise.Are you thinking about adoption? If you feel you want to be with your angel then you will end up doing what you got to do.But if you cant give her what she or he needs then you will find the right family to love her.I know we would be very happy to talk with you if you considered giving her up. If you would like to contact me just email me [email protected] GOOD LUCK ↑ |
| Name: Flowergirl | Date: Aug 13th, 2006 6:21 AM |
Hi, Steven...
Our hearts go out to you during this difficult time of your life. It sounds as though you have some very hard decisions ahead of you and we just want to let you know, you are not alone, no matter how alone you may feel!
I can tell you truly love your precious baby and I wanted to encourage you... No matter how few skills you feel you have to care for a newborn child, first time parents always learn as they go, making many mistakes, but they do their best and love gets them through those tough times. If you don't feel financially prepared to care for your little one alone, I suggest (as have others) that you check with your local family planning and/or family crisis center to see what kind of help they can give you. There should be help available for formula, baby needs and insurance, and possibly even assistance with your living expenses, such as rent, utilities and groceries.
If, in spite of everything in your favor, you still feel unable to be a good daddy to your baby, there are lots of caring, adoption professionals who would be happy to help you find a loving family who will provide your little one with a lifetime of happiness.
Just remember, if you make this decision, that choosing adoption does *not* make you a bad daddy or an incompetant daddy. It does not mean you love your child any less than the Daddy who parents or that you are any of the many other things you may worry about being. Adoption is a brave and courageous choice of love and selflessness and don't forget that! Also, if you decide to consider adoption, my advice is to work with an experienced, reputable professional... research them well and make sure they let you have a say in the parents chosen to love and raise your baby. Also... if you consider adoption, check into it extensively and follow your heart... and it's ok to change your mind. It is *your* decision and don't let anyone else make up your mind for you. This is your child and both of your futures.
And as has already been stated, if you would choose adoption, you do have the choice of a fully open adoption, where you could have contact with your child and the adoptive family through letters, pictures, websights, phone calls and even visits can be arranged with some adoptive parents. Decide what type of openness you would like and look for families that want the same things as you... be cautious with families who initially want different things than you do, but 'change their mind' when they hear what it is that you want, as these often are parents so desperate for a child, they will do and say anything to be chosen, never planning to honor your wishes.
I will quit boring you now... I know you have a lot on your mind and a little one who needs lots of attention. We want to wish you all the very best and if you need anything that we may be able to help you with, even if it's just a listening ear, we would be more than happy to help. I can be reached at [email protected] and my IM is the same.
Warm regards, L&S ↑ |
| Name: Angela H | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 5:50 PM |
| That's a difficult decision. Do you want to keep her and are you willing to grow up and make the sacrifices necessary to do that? If so there is a way. If you aren't ready adoption is a great way to go. There are many loving families out there eager for a chance to take care of your little one. Good luck in a difficult decision. I've been on both sides a little since I was adopted and I've been a pregnant teen so if you have any ?s let me know. ↑ |
| Name: Christy-military mom | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 8:56 PM |
| Steven, If you are considering placing this baby girl for adoption we would like to help. our e-mail: [email protected] We live in AR. ↑ |
| Name: EricaRFT | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 1:57 AM |
Hi Steven,
My name is Erica and I am a counselor for a non profit organization that provides family and pregnancy counseling(as well as adoptive planning should you chose). I would love to assist you in any way possible. Please email me at [email protected] and I can get you connected to one of our counselors near you.
Blessings,
Erica ↑ |
| Name: Melis | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 2:26 AM |
| Just wondering how things are going, it's been a while since we've heard from you. ↑ |
| Name: cookiemonster | Date: Aug 19th, 2006 1:40 AM |
I agree with all of what there saying. Are you sure you are looking for another family. Have you talked to someone about your options, Sometimes talking to someone who doesnt oppose of either idea would be good for you.
I am willing to lend you my "ear and shoulder" for you to lay out a bunch of ideas.
You can email me privately if your intrested. ↑ |
| Name: icechick | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 7:55 AM |
Steven
Hello I am also willing to listen, and help you as much as I can, with either choice you make, I can be there for you and your angel please email me at. [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 1:32 PM |
steven,
i'm not saying giving a baby away for adoption is a form of punishment for the child. in many circumstances, where the parent is unable to take care of the child, it is best for the child. but i was adopted myself, and all my life i hoped there would be a good reason my parents chose not to know me. when i found out it was merely because they split up, i was so horrifed i would now spit at them if they ever tried to dare make contact with me. i don't think that because the baby's mother is irresponsibile you should put your baby in the circumstance i've grown up in. it can be a very lonely and isolated circumstance. i'm not saying it always is. but it certainly was for me. my adopted parents were bad parents who failed to love me, and i was thrown out of home eventually for being adopted. they said they'd made a terrible mistake. you are the baby's father, and you CAN love and cherish this baby, and you CAN take care of him/her. theres many many single fathers who do a great job. i know giving a baby away in the hope that someone else can do a good job can be an easy relief for you. you'll feel you've done right by the child without having to bear the responsibility of becoming a single parent. but reconsider. who will this adoption benefit more? the baby? or you? if you genuinely feel the baby, then by all means consider adoption. but it should be a LAST resort. i hope you make the right decision. ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 1:41 PM |
| btw steven, and everyone else here. i didn't mean any disrespect. i understand that giving a baby away for adoption can be extremely difficult, and can be done out of total love for the child. but as it wasn't in my case, i hope you can't blame me for seeing adoption in a negative light. i do believe that all parents should raise their children if they possibly can. with child benefit, income support etc, it's certainly possible. i know many single parents who don't work and still their children want for nothing. BUT i also understand that there are couples who are in circumstances where adoption is the only method of having a family of their own, and matching them with parents who cannot raise their children can be a rewarding and wonderful ending. regardless, adoption should always be a last resort. ↑ |
|
|
