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Hi, Id just like to ask a couple of questions if ya'll dont mind. Im 17 and have got 2 year old twins and am pregnant again. I dont think I'll be able to handle another child financially, I work full time and study full time too totaling 64 hours a week. I couldn't manage another baby right now. its just impossible, I struggle to provide for 2 children so how could I manage 3? I split with the kids dad when I was 1 month pregnant and he doesn't want anything to do with all of us. I am due in November and I turn 18 in December, at 17 am I legally allowed to give my child for adoption? Or do I need my parents permission? My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant with the twins and I havnt seen or spoken to any of my family since. My ex boyfriends family dont want anything to do with the twins either. Would I have to wait until Im 18? Im asking because I dont think Id be able to look after him/her for like a month then give him/her up. Ideally the adoptive parents I choose would take them straight away, so I dont get attached! It breaks my heart but I know I have to do this for the future of not only the baby but for the twins as well! I know I cant manage with 3 children, I want the baby to have parents who can provide everything he/she needs, something I wont be able to do. I live in MA, does anyone know about the laws on adoption here? I havnt contacted any agencies but ideally Id like to do it privatly! Ive been looking a few things up on the net about adoption but Im not sure which way to go, open/closed adoption? I dont think I could stand by and watch my baby calling someone else mommy and also I think that its better for the baby not to have the confusion of having a mommy and a birth mommy. A little child needs security not confusion like that. However I would like to have pictures and updates mailed a few times a year and eventually meet the child if he/she wants to. Is this called open adoption or not? When I give my baby to adoptive parents I dont want to get in the way because I know Im choosing this option for the future of my baby. Is it unreasonable to ask for them to send photos? Eventually I want to explain to my child why I had to give him/her up for adoption and explain my circumstances at the time. Will adoptive parents stop me doing this? I just want to make the right choices and If someone could reply, Id be very grateful. ↓
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| Name: Luann | Date: May 3rd, 2006 6:48 PM |
Hi Kaylee. I'm not sure on the laws in your state regarding the age you have to be to relinquish.
However what you are looking for in an adoption and what you want from the adoptive parents are totally reasonable and also exactly what my husband and I are looking for. If you'd like to talk further you can email me at [email protected]! ↑ |
| Name: chasity | Date: May 3rd, 2006 6:57 PM |
Kaylee, My husband and I are wanting to adopt. We live in Indiana. We are okay with semi-open adoption. Semi-open is that you would get a letter once a year and pictures of the baby. I have a friend who is adopted and she knows nothing about her birthparents and she hates it. I feel that the baby should know about his/her birthparents. I don't think that, that would confuse the child. I think that he/she has the right to know about you and about his/her brothers and sisters... If you would like to talk feel free to email me at [email protected]
Good Luck!!!
Chasity ↑ |
| Name: Elizabeth | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:08 PM |
Hi,
I am not sure what age is legal...I am sorry you do not have much support from your family. I hope you have a place to stay right now. My Husband and I are interested in a private adoption and would love for you to email us at [email protected]. I would be happy to help you find what information you are seeking.
I think you desires are not unreasonable at all. I think semi-open adoption is very good for children, it gives them a choice in how their life is lived. Do you have someone close to support you? Someone to talk to? Take Care. ↑ |
| Name: KELLY M | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:33 PM |
| *****HELLO KAYLEE MY HUSBAND ANS I ARE LOOKING TO ADOPT AND WOULD LOVE FOR A SEMI- OPEN ADOPTION AND YES I AGREE THAT A CHILD SHOULD NO WHO HIS/ OR HER PARENTS ARE AND HOW MUCH LOVE WAS THERE AND THE REASON WHY THEY WAS GAVE UP FOR ADOPTION / A LOT OF KIDS GROW UP NOT NOING WHOS THERE PARENTS ARE AND WERE THEY CAME FROM AND WHOS THERE SISTERS AND BROTHERS ARE [[BECAUSE I NO ALL ABOUT THAT I HAVE LOOKED FOR MY HALF SISTERS AND BROTHER]] I ALWAYS POST PICS AND STORIES ON MY YAHOO PROFILE AND MY 360* PAGE AND IF I'M EVER BLESSED WITH A BABY FROM A LOVING BIRTHMOM SHE CAN ALWAYS LOOK ON MY PROFILE AND SEE HOW HER BABY IS DOING AND HOW LOVED HE/ OR SHE IS / YOU HAVE TO BE BRAVE AND HAVE A HEART OF GOLD TO BE ABLE TO PLACE YOUR BABY WITH SOMEONE ELSE // MAY I ADD YOU MIGHT WANT TO START 2 FILMS OR 2 SCRAP BOOK OF YOU AND YOUR TWINS AND HOW YOUR LIFE IS AND HOW MUCH LOVE YOU HAVE FOR THIS BABY I FOR WHEN YOU PLACE YOUR BABY AND ONE FOR YEARS LATER THAT YOU CAN GIVE HIM/ HER AND THAT CAN BE FROM NOW TO THE TIME YOU GIVE IT TO HIM/ HER BECAUSE IT WILL HAVE DIFFERANT STUFF FROM AFTER HE/ HER WAS PLACED AND HOW HIS/HER TWIN SIBLINGS HAVE GROWED TO ↑ |
| Name: Kristina | Date: May 3rd, 2006 9:10 PM |
Kaylee, your babies are your babies therefore you can decide what is best for you and them regardless of your age. My husband and I were chosen to be the parents of a baby whose bmom was 16 at the time (she decided to parent) and she didn't need anyones permission to place her baby for adoption. We now have a three year old daughter we were blessed with through semi-open adoption, which is pictures and letters a few times a year. My husband and I are hoping to adopt once again, if you think you might like to learn a little more about us I'd love if you would email me, [email protected]. I would love the chance to talk with you about your adoption plan and to know what your hopes and dreams are for little one. I hope to hear from you soon. Sincerely, Kristina
P.S. I will be in Cambridge, MA this weekend (outside of Boston) (We live in Virginia) -- my husband has a conference to attend. Boston is my favorite city (rivalled by Philly and Chicago). Where do you live in MA? ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 3rd, 2006 10:09 PM |
| I would love to talk to you about the baby and be a friend to you if you want you can email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: To:Kaylee | Date: May 3rd, 2006 11:37 PM |
| If you give your child up for adoption, you can state your terms and hope the adoptive parents follow thru. I think most would. I have an adoptive daughter who I got at 15 months old. We have her birth family in a book for her, and she looks at it sometimes when she "forgets" what they look like. They have no contact with her directly but she has pictures of her birth brother, mother ,father, grandparents and knows some about them like their names and where they live. We have shared a lot more than the birth parents ever asked us too. But my reasoning was she should never feel someone didn't want her. They did the best they could. I wasn't looking to adopt when we did it sort of just worked out that way. So check out the people and see about your laws. It will be easier to adopt in the same state because of the interstate compact laws. But if you plan and pick fairly early the new parents can be at the hospital with all the papers signed. I would let them take a photo of you and the new baby if it was me. So the new baby could see you loved he/she very much. But it is really up to you. I'll be glad to talk to you. I'm not looking to adopt. just chat. ↑ |
| Name: to Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 12:22 AM |
| We would love to talk to you and help in any way we can. We are looking to adopt. We would like to fulfill all the wishes of the birth mom if she chooses open or closed adoption.you can email us at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Karla | Date: May 4th, 2006 12:24 AM |
Hi Kaylee,
My husband and i live in Mississippi and are very interested in talking with you. You can email me anytime at [email protected] or you can even call me at 601-748-0422. We will be more than happy to help you with everything such as finding out what your state laws are. We are looking foward to hearing from you soon!!! ↑ |
| Name: Carey | Date: May 4th, 2006 1:40 AM |
HI Kaylee...
I know you have received many posts and your head is surely spinning! Like so many others, we are also looking to adopt. We are very open to any type of openness and believe strongly that this should be the decision of the birthfamily. We want the child we adopt to know as much about her first family that the birthfamily feels comfortable sharing. How lucky this child will be to know that she has not one, but two families that love her very much!
If you would like to learn more about us, please see our profile on Parentprofiles.com......http://www.pa
rentprofiles.com/profiles/db14758.htm
l
(Richard and Carey in VA)
Best of luck on your decision and we would love to hear from you!
Carey ↑ |
| Name: Barbie | Date: May 4th, 2006 11:58 AM |
Hi Kaylee, thank you for posting where I could find you! :)
I am not familiar with MA laws, but the attorney for the couple you choose will be able to research them! You are the legal mother and you *will* be able to make an adoption plan for them.
The birth mom of our 1-year old Ava was in the *exact* same position as you... she had a 2 year old and was struggling to give her everything she could, and she knew that one more would not be fair to the child she already had. She originally wanted a semi-open adoption (like you), but she quickly opened up to wanting an open relationship - she thought things would be very "weird" and difficult, but things ended up so natural and easy and *good* that she decided that she did want to have visits if she could. So far we have travelled cross country for a week at Thanksgiving, and have plans for more visits with her! Birth mommy Jenelle is very different from us, and yet we LOVE her like she is our own child... and I feel like she is my little sister. We just love having a relationship with her. What it sounds like you might like is to start with a semi-open relationship (photos, emails, etc.) and then leave it open to have more (or less) whenever you wanted. It is up to *you* where the relationship goes.
And with any open or semi-open relationship you have open lines of communication with the child, so that at any time you can tell him/her that you love them and why you chose an adoption plan. In our case, we already tell Ava all about her birth mommy Jenelle, and show her pictures, and tell her how special her birth mommy is, because she did the most *loving* thing a mommy can ever do for her child - make sure she had a great life! Jenelle has a hero status around here... she could have had an abortion and instead chose to give her child life. She has given our daughter Ava a bigger gift than we will ever be able to provide her. And we tell Ava that already. And Jenelle will also share that with her when Ava is older. This sounds like exactly what you will be doing with your child!
I think you will be able to have this too - what we have with Jenelle. The adoptive family you choose will adore you - warts and all! You will be giving them something so very special, they will cherish you for always no matter what.
Kaylee, if you want some guidance throughout this, please email me! I can put you in touch with Jenelle, too. We have "been-there-done-that" already, and know how everything works. Please know that things will go much smoother and more wonderfully than you imagine. I think it must be a little overwhelming for you right now, but trust that it all works out. I know :)
I don't know if you like us, but if you do: we are just opening up for our second child (we want 2 in total, so they can be siblings and best of friends). To see if we might be the parents you like, our photos and thoughts are here www.SmithAngels.com
If you just want to chat, or ask any of those thousand questions you must have, please email as much as you like. I am at [email protected] - I am a stay at home mommy to Ava, so I am available to help you.
Lots of love, HUGS,
Barbie ↑ |
| Name: Kelly | Date: May 4th, 2006 1:22 PM |
| Hello Kaylee, We are looking to add to our family..And we just might be the family you are looking for!! We would love to hear from you. We are sure this is an extremely emotional time for you -we promise to respect and put your concerns and wishes for your angel above all. We strongly feel the importance that a baby know of their biological parents and of the courageous and loving choice of adoption. We want you as the birth mom to have complete and sheer peacefullness with your decision. We could promise your angel stability, understanding, caring, and just lots and lots of love!!! We are willing to share in the adoption experience and help you through such an emotional time. Our home is filled with hugs and kisses and I love you's!!If you need someone to even just listen you can email us at abcadoptions.com we are under the dear birth mother link...under KellyStacy May God bless you and your decision. ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:21 PM |
wow, I didnt expect so many replies. Ive emailed people who left email adresses so if you havnt received one plz let me know. Thank you all for your kind words.
Kelly M- could you leave your email adress or something if u want.
Carey- ditto
Kelly- I couldnt get your profile up
If there is anyone else plz leave a message here and I'll try to get in contact.
To the person who adopted a lil angel at 15 months if you wana chat plz leave your email.
Take care everyone and thank you again for your support. ↑ |
| Name: To Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:29 PM |
| Hi! This is Karla from Mississippi. I left my email addy on one of the post above but have not heard anything. My email is [email protected]. If you are still interested, please email us. We are looking foward to hearing from you soon... ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:33 PM |
| I sent it like a second before posting, I'll try again and if it doesn't send plz let me know. ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:43 PM |
| my email thing keeps screwing up so I might have to get a new email addy. if anyone receives one of my emails plz let me know on the board as well as replying (if you want to that is). Or maybe try emailing me; my addy is [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Courtney | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:48 PM |
| Hi Kaylee i sent you an email adrress but i have not heard from you so if you are still looking for a family you can email me at [email protected] we would love to hear from you . Thanks so much ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 6:01 PM |
I havnt had any failiure notice sent back into my account. Plz check again and if not email me
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: To Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 6:12 PM |
HI.....You can email me at
[email protected]. Sorry I didn't post it the first time.
Carey ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: May 4th, 2006 7:17 PM |
Dear Kaylee...
I see you have gotten an overwhelming response already, so I hope you don't mind if I reply also! :-) When my husband and I were brought face to face with the cold reality of infertility, we immediately hoped to begin our family through the miracle of adoption. Since I am the product of a wonderful adoption experience, we both knew this was a blessed way to have a family. I was adopted as a toddler into an absolutely wonderful family, and thot maybe my adoption experience could help ease your mind about some of your adoption fears and unknowns.
From the time I can remember, my adoptive mommy told me the much loved story of my adoption... this story included all about how they had hoped, dreamed and waited for me and how excited they were when I finally arrived. This story also included a beautiful, selfless birth mommy, who knew she did not have the ability to provide the proper physical care (I had a dislocated hip) for me and therefore, made the difficult decision to give me up for adoption. My adoptive Mom always told me that my birth mommy was stronger than she ever could be, for sharing me with them and trusting them with her baby. I never knew my birth mommy and that is the one thing I wish could be different about my adoption story... I love her very dearly and would truly like to thank her for giving me the gift of a wonderful, loving family.
Whatever decision you make for your precious baby, rest assured that your child will always know you made the decision out of pure, unselfish love. If you decide to choose adoption, we would love for you to consider our loving home. We are both in our mid twenties, full of love, life and security for your precious little one. We have been happily married for nearly four years and have both dreamt of the moment we would become parents. We would be thrilled to welcome you, your twins and your new son or daughter, all into our family and lives. You could have as open or closed adoption as you felt comfortable with... We would respect all your feelings and decisions.
I recently was a full time Nanny to newborn triplets, so if this baby would happen to surpise you and be two, we would be more than thrilled...we would be over the moon!! :-)
So sorry this got so long, but if you would like to learn more about us, or just want to chat... I would love to talk with you! My email address is [email protected] and my IM is the same. I hope to hear from you soon, but if I don't I wish you and your little family all the very best in your future!
Warm regards, ((((hugs))))
Lisa Armstrong ↑ |
| Name: Luann | Date: May 4th, 2006 7:43 PM |
| Hi Kaylee..I sent you an email. ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 4th, 2006 9:45 PM |
| Thanks to the people that replied to my emails. I'll try my best to reply tomorrow coz I'm really busy at the moment you know with work, twins and studying. Sometimes I feel like I'm babging my head against a brick wall, lol. ↑ |
| Name: Elizabeth | Date: May 4th, 2006 11:09 PM |
Kaylee,
It is a lot to be juggling right now, don't bang your head on the wall that would really hurt *wink*. You take your time, as you can see there are people here who want to support. Try to find some time to take care of yourself too. ↑ |
| Name: ?????? | Date: May 5th, 2006 1:09 AM |
| Does anyone know what race Kaylee is and if she knows who the father is? ↑ |
| Name: Misty | Date: May 5th, 2006 2:18 AM |
| Kaylee, Hi, we are looking to adopt and as you we dont know alot about it either but I do know that I wont a full open adoption. I want the child to know their mother and actually us be friends. I have a son who is six and I am married. I want a full open adoption and I want that because pictures communication and all of that are important to us. I want to know the history and so will your child. Well, Please email me so we can talk. [email protected] I really think we could work out exactly what you want as far as the communication and visitation. Hey, I may be even to open for you but we can work on whatever you choose. Thank you I am married and stable and have one child he is wonderful. I am 32. ↑ |
| Name: To:Kaylee | Date: May 5th, 2006 2:31 AM |
| Hi, I'm the one who adopted the 15 month old. My email is [email protected] I will be glad to chat with you. ↑ |
| Name: to ?????? | Date: May 5th, 2006 3:24 AM |
| Why not ask Kaylee these kinds of questions, personally?? She is a very mature, sweet person and I'm sure she would be more than happy to answer any of these types of questions herself. She has been great about posting, emailing replies to everyone that she has been able to, so why ask 'about' her? I suggest you ask her directly... ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 5th, 2006 4:14 AM |
| You have some time yet, Open adoption can be wonderful and most often is in the best interest of the child. Read Dear Birthmother and/or The Open Adoption Experience. Great books just to educate yourself before you make such a big decision, plus they will give you a really good idea of the difference between the types of adoption. Actually children in an open adoption do not feel that void that most often children of a closed adoption do...and maybe a semi open adoption would be something you can consider. Talk to some agencies, lawyers or facilitators...you don't have to commit to them but you may learn alot! Be careful though there are some not very nice people out in the adoption world. Educate yourself on possible scams, read The Cruelest Con to protect yourself. Maybe join an online support group for birthmoms and other adoption lists. Ask lots of questions. In the end it is your choice! No one elses, do what is right for you! Good Luck! Jessie ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn & Louis in CO | Date: May 5th, 2006 4:26 AM |
Dear Kaylee-
Hi ! My husband and I are happily married and we can`t wait to share our love and adopt a baby as we are are unable to conceive ourselves. We tried many attempts at fertility treatments that never resulted in a pregnancy despite all of our prayers.
We can offer your baby a wonderful life in every way. We are financially set, and live in a quiet,residential area of Colorado,and own our beautiful four bedroom home on a dead end street. We live very close to parks and playgrounds with views of the Rocky Mountains.
Lou and I both have excellent jobs; Lou is a pilot for a major airline, and I am a corporate sales representative for a nationally known company. We belong to the local pool club, and enjoy skiing weekends and enjoy special family vacations regularly.
We are both college graduates, so we understand the importance of an outstanding education,which we will provide the baby.
We are Episcopal, so the baby will be Baptized and raised in the Christian faith.
Thank you so much for reading our profile and for choosing life. Adopting a baby is our dream, and will mean the world to us. We will love the baby forever, and give the child a wonderful and blessed life in every aspect.We are receptive to any type of adoption and any level of contact you are looking for; be it open, or semi open. We understand that the type of adoption chosen is a very personal matter for a birthmom, and we want you to be happy and comfortable with your decision.
We are happy to send pictures and letters as frequently as you would like ! We plan on telling the baby that he/she is adopted early on, and will share everything about you, the wonderful person that helped our dream of becoming a family come true! We would be happy to visit you in MA ! (I am from Long Island originally.)
We would love to hear from you............God bless you.
Love always,
Carolyn & Louis
Read more about us & see pictures at: http://www.readytoadopt.com
/carolynandlouis/
Please
call us anytime toll free-
1-800-643-2962 ↑ |
| Name: Kaylee | Date: May 5th, 2006 12:27 PM |
To the person who wrote ???????
Why don't you ask me these things personally or at least direct the messsage to me? I didn't include my race in the message because personally I don't judge people because of their race. It's not something that bothers me and if I meet someone on the net or anyway else my first question isn't What race are you? But then again we are all different. Seeing as you didn't leave a name, if you aree someone that emailed me, don't bother again!!!
But just to answer your question I'm of European desent. My dads parents were English and my moms parents were Polish. Both of my parents were born here and so was I.
I thought I made it clear in the message that the baby's father is also the twins father. Who do you think you are asking people do I even know who the father is.?You're judgmental and to be honest quite pathetic. Never judge a book by its cover, read it and then you can have an opinion!!!! ↑ |
| Name: To: Kaylee | Date: May 5th, 2006 1:50 PM |
| I just wanted to comment on your maturity! It's hard to believe you're only 17, you seem like a very intelligent girl. I just wanted to give you a heads up! ↑ |
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