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I think one of my biggest fears is that the birthmom who choses us will not follow thru at the end. All the money paid towards their monthly expenses can not be recouped. I can understand a BM not wanting to place after the birth, but it would be so hard on the adopting parents to be out that money for expenses and then to not even have the baby that they had hoped for at the end. Not to mention the heart break. It is too bad that there isn't a law to protect adopting parents. ↓
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| Name: michellesnook | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 2:39 AM |
Yeah, I know what you mean, in the last 2 months, we've lost 15,000 to two failed placements...it is hard...
Michelle ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 2:44 AM |
| Michelle, I've often wondered how I could financially be able to keep going, how are you doing it? ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 2:46 AM |
| Let me be more specific, putting out money for BM expenses and then having the birthmom back out. Me personally once the money is spent, it is gone... have you considered surrogacy? Even a surrogate can have a planned adoption pregnancy if your hubby is unable to donate, then you know at the end, the baby is yours and I have found that the fees are very close to adoption expenses. ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 3:02 AM |
| Isn't there adoption insurance available in some states for that very reason? ↑ |
| Name: sdt1977 | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 3:13 AM |
Yes it is failed adoption cancellation insurance
http://www.adoption.org/adopt/
adoption-cancellation-insurance.ph
p
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| Name: michellesnook | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 3:18 AM |
mommyinwaiting..
Well..this time we borrowed money from my parents... ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 3:58 AM |
| good to know about the insurance, that would be well worth checking into :) Michelle are still trying? ↑ |
| Name: teresa0088 | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 5:28 PM |
Hey mommyinwaiting.....Trust me on this one..it's sucks beans as Sam and I just went thru this and are still paying for our birthmom...cell phone bill, rent, utilites and we had to ship all of her clothes and belonging home as well as the airfare...and she took baby too.....it's just really hard no matter what you do....I wish you and your family the best for 2007 and you will all be in our prayers that this doesnt' happen to your family...
Teresa ↑ |
| Name: quietobserver | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 6:18 PM |
| Can't you have an adoption contract? There is always a risk but at least with a legal contract you can take legal action...maybe not for the child but at least to re-coop financially. ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 7:55 PM |
| I have not heard of a contract in California where you can recoup the birthmom expenses. Some agencies and attorneys will you will also be out there money too if the birth mom backs out. I thought I had a good plan for surrogacy and might even be able to start soon, but there has been a monkey wrench thrown into it and I found out today, so I am not sure what is going to happen. I wish I would have found out after Christmas, I have been so excited and happy that everything was moving in a positive direction and now I feel a little blue. Trying hard not to. I am going to see a movie this afternoon (a comedy) and hopefully shake it off ↑ |
| Name: quietobserver | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 8:01 PM |
| mommyinwaiting...sorry you've had such a bad day. Hope the movie helps you laugh a little. ↑ |
| Name: mommyto2 | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 8:56 PM |
| what happend mommyinwaiting Sorry you had a bad day ↑ |
| Name: nyjocool | Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 11:47 PM |
15K is a lot to lose! Wow-so sorry Michelle.
Mommyinwaiting, I have the same fear and it's not so much financial, it's more that I don't want to be disappointed and have my heart broken as well as my daughters. It scares me to think there is a 50/50 chance a birthmom will really place. ↑ |
| Name: Carolyn | Date: Dec 23rd, 2006 12:00 AM |
I am so sorry Michelle, and also for your mommyinwaiting.
God bless-
Carolyn ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 23rd, 2006 4:26 AM |
| hi the movie was cute we saw "A night at the Museum" and it did put me in a better mood. ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Dec 23rd, 2006 4:32 AM |
On the same day, my attorney called and said he was presenting me to a birthmom and my possible surrogate said she wanted to be my surro mom and wanted to get started early January. The attorney's office said they would call either way, and didn't call or email me. I figure if she would have picked us, they would have called so (not to be negative but realistic) she probably didn't pick us. And my surro mom is having female problems so it is on hold for a bit :( seems that both adoption and surrogacy can be an emotional rollercoaster. And honestly, it can be so warying.
On the up side, I love to read about your successes! It picks me up. I also know if things are happening a particular way it must be the man upstairs directing traffic lol. And when a situation should be ours it will be. ↑ |
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