Hi thanks to our conversation the other day, my hubby and I have been talking about surrogacy. The only down side is that here in California the minimum for an uncomplicated surrogacy plan is $55,000 and I was told it could go as high as $100,000. On one hand it would be nice to have a baby that is part me and part my hubby on the other hand, we couldn't love our adopted son anymore than if he was biologically ours and he was around $25K. We had joined something thru our attorney but it hasn't really gone anywhere and it has been over 6 months. I haven't found networking to help yet either so we will probably go back to our agency (and yes I know I posted about the fees but we really want our little one to have a young sibling to grow up with so we will pay it if necessary).
Getting back to the surrogate part, it is really exciting to think about and check into, but financially I think it is out of our ball park. ↓
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| Name: momof1 | Date: Oct 31st, 2006 9:55 PM |
| That seems a little high to me. Where did you receive these amounts? I can see if you talked with an agency, but there are lots of people that work without an agency (though you do need an attorney). That is something that you might want to look into. But whatever you decided, I wish you all the best. And it has been a pleasure talking with you. :) ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 12:55 AM |
| I checked with an agency in Modesto, CA and did a few searches on the internet. My attorney handles surrogacy as well as adoptions, so I am comfortable with either direction. Have you found that there is a price variance around the country? ↑ |
| Name: momof1 | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 1:52 AM |
| I don't think where you are located makes a big difference. When a surrogate sets her compensation, it's a personal decision. A surrogate mom can ask for any amount that she chooses. I have been surrogates asking for nothing on the low end, and it upwards of $35 K and up. It all depends. ↑ |
| Name: luckey_in_life | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 1:58 AM |
"our adopted son anymore than if he was biologically ours and he was around $25K."
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I'm sorry but the way you are talking about your son is really disturbing. Do you go around telling him he was around $25K? ↑ |
| Name: momof1 | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 2:01 AM |
| you can't put a price on a life. And how dare you even make that comment, who are you to say that???? ↑ |
| Name: luckey_in_life | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 2:02 AM |
| Adopting from the U.S. foster care system is generally the least expensive type of adoption. Have you consider that? ↑ |
| Name: Gracie | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 4:10 AM |
I too think that it seems a little high. I have been looking in to surrogacy lately. We have two biological children, yet we had 3 miscarriages and 1 stillborn. I just emailed a site for information called www.reproduticeassistanceinc.org (I think I have the site right.) But anyway they seem to have more affordable costs. It was started in 2002 by a mom that was having problems herself. I also found a place that will do the IVF part with a surrogate with your own genetic material for 18,000 to 22,000. But I can see how with everything it could come to that cost, but not just for the surrogate. Is that what you ment? Not sure?
Just as a point: I am here to talk with other moms, prospective moms, birthmoms considering adoption, and etc. I think that at times we have comments to make of which we may not take the time to go at it by long hand to ensure that we sound the most politically correct. However, we should feel comfortable discussing issues and learn from each other, assist each other by our knowledge or other means of networking. It is disheartening to hear so much discord here. We are here- most all of us -for the same reasons. Taking offense to comments or dissecting phrases, or checking each others spelling or grammatical mistakes is petty. Many of us are very intelligent people. We do need to have some place that we can relax and be ourselves as well in comparison to our professional lives. I have not been on this forum for long, but I have learned things from others discussions. I have been enjoying reading the posts, but sometimes it is just not necessary.
May everyones dreams come true,
Gracie ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 7:13 PM |
| Lucky when you adopt thru the foster care system the children have a lot of emotional baggage that they bring with them. I would love to be the kind of person who can help a child get thru that and give them a loving home, however, I have my existing children to think of and I chose not to have my home in turmoil for their sake. When you go thru an agency as you have mentioned many times Lucky all parties involved are checked out thoroughly. I absolutely love my adopted son as if he was my own biological child, wouldn't you agree the fee I paid for his facilitator alone (facilitator hook up the birth parents with the adopted parents) could have went towards furthering his education. The upside is we didn't have to wait long for our little man to arrive just 7 weeks from signing up to delivery. This time around I have researched different methods to add a new family member as natural child birth is not a choice for me. The $55,000 includes medications, procedures for all participants, and the fees for the surrogate. We will probably go back to our original agency. Paying an attorney, homestudy, expenses for the birth mom, adoption service provider all very necessary expenses and they come in around $10,000 to 13,000 having to pay for a facilitator when you might be able to connect on your own and have your attorney take care of everything can save $12,500 in our case. Although I signed up with my attorney around 6 or 7 months ago we haven't been matched, so in January we will probably sign up again with our agency. It is very important for us to have our little one have a brother or sister to grow up with. My other children are much older 22 almost 23 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. Life chose for me that they are spaced apart, but I am making the choice thru adoption or surrogacy to have 2 of my children close together. We are not all lucky in life, you should be grateful that you are. Some of us have challenges that we have to go thru to obtain the family we want. ↑ |
| Name: Gracie | Date: Nov 2nd, 2006 4:24 AM |
mommyinwaiting,
now I see where all of your fees come in. Thanks for your openess with your information. I just think that it is sad that things are so expensive. Are facilitators legal in all states?
Gracie ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 2nd, 2006 4:23 PM |
Mommyinwaiting,
I would ignore everything luckey is saying. If you are interested in surrogacy momof 1 is the best person on here to talk to. She is a great friend and can be trusted 110%. There are areas to look for a surrogate and get to know them well before you choose to work together. And you can discuss the fees as you get to know each other.
If you deside to go with a TS surrogate it may be a bit less than a GS surrogate because of the egg donation fee or egg retreval fee. There are really nice TS surrogates out there you just have to becareful just as you do in adoption.
And Luckey, if you do research there are several couples and families that know about foster adopt and have gone through the pain of the birth family after months taking the child back. Atleast with private adoption in most situations you have the child and can start your life after the birth and relinquishment. We have taken our foster adopt classes and looked into that but, in each state the foster cares system is different.
So Luckey, we all here would like you to take a look at all the rules, regs.and laws in all states for foster adopt hopefully this will keep you busy for awhile. Because trust me they are all different just like they are in private adoption in each state. If you want to preach to us about foster adopt please know about all states. I am in TX so if you want you can research that state first.
These women and families here do not put a price on the children they are hoping to bring home. That is the agency or facilitators that do that. It is just sometimes hard to see paying these people 25-35k to adopt because most of that does not go to the baby or the BM. It goes to them. And most families here look at how they could use that 25-35k to help raise and love that child or how it could put that child through college.
Momof1- How is your little man??? I know he is probley doing so much better now. Give him a hug for me. :)
Tamara ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Nov 2nd, 2006 4:29 PM |
| Hi Tamara, thank you for your encouragement. We are still looking around and have for an attorney that matches in Sacramento that even takes it a step further but discussing with the birthing hospital what the adoption plans/birthing plans are and sets up a tour so that we can meet and see where the baby will be born. That way when the time comes they will aleady know us. I like that :) ↑ |
| Name: mommyinwaiting | Date: Nov 2nd, 2006 4:35 PM |
| Forgot to mention he's matching fees are half of what the facilitator was and it includes the hospital tour and introduction. ↑ |
| Name: tamara anderson | Date: Nov 2nd, 2006 4:41 PM |
Mommy that is great. I hope he will have your match soon.
Tamara ↑ |
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