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Our 3 year old son was diagnosed with mild PDD (or mild Asperger's). Our pediatriac neurologist who is "the best" - didn't allow us to ask questions - spent 15 minutes with us - told us about speaking firmly and showed us holding therapy. We're looking for another doctor and getting help through the school district - but what we need NOW is any tips, suggestions on how to deal with the "go away" "i want to bite children" and aggression issues - this to us is the hardest part - we can't go anywhere or do anything without that fear that he will attempt to hurt another child. .....What works best - STOP! or NO! or time outs or holding - anything at all to help us not waste another day of trying to help him - he is very verbal, at a 4 1/2 year intellect level and can be so sweet and loving - but the last three days have been especially trying. Anything at all would be appreciated -my e-mail is [email protected] - thank you very very much. ↓
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| Name: Tiggs | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 11:59 AM |
I know what u r going through. I have a 5 year old son that shows signs of being aspergers and its an 18 month waiting list to get assessed! I am in the same situation on his behaviour, very angry all the time and aggresive. I've just had to pick him up from school this afternoon because of it, next time they said he won't be aloud back. He is still in main stream school but come September he will going to a special school for autistic children, they have no room at the moment. I am at my wits end! not knowing wat to do I've tried everyting you can possibly think of, I know this isn't much help to you, but just to let you know your not on your own there are others out there like us needs answers and help!
leanne ↑ |
| Name: JenHartin | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 12:34 PM |
| Leanne, I'm sorry you are having such difficulty. In my son's two hour drop off class, there are two therapists who work with a moderately retarded little girl and they are incredible with her. I spoke to the occupational therapist on Monday and asked for her advice on the aggression - she told me not to register emotion, look serious but not angry, tell him "NOT ALLOWED" and use your hands/arms in the "safe" kind of motion that umpires use in baseball (crossing your arms and then bringing them out) - and I swear to God - it works - since Monday I've been doing it - and yesterday only two or three times he started to say "I'm going to bite..." and he stopped when I started to say "Not Allowed" - today he is extra tired from waking at 4 a.m. from coughing and he started to say something once or twice when he got aggravated with a toy and completely stopped on his own. He hasn't hit or screamed since Monday - he has fussed like a normal 3 y/o - but I see a remarkable improvement already. If I show emotion, exhaustion, resignation - it feeds him - I have come to realize. We will continue with this until he is assessed and then we'll start working more firmly on the hand flapping, jumping, etc. Good luck, Leanne - and I hope this information might help someone else. Also, I noticed a remarkable improvement in his aggression when I took him off Claritin (he has bad allergies) three weeks ago. askapatient.com had information that helped me in that regard. ↑ |
| Name: mondo | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 2:17 PM |
| Hello, I agree with Jen below in regard to the "feeding into bad behavior" that showing emotions during trying times can do. My son is much older than yours (19) and over time we too came to the conclusion that ignoring bad behavior actually reduced/stopped the behavior. Showing appropriate emotions during good behavior is OK but I still guard it to avoid excessive emotion because that too sometimes puts him off. Praising good behavior and even when he isn't doing anything in particular we say "what a good kid you are" or something like that and he feeds into that 'good' snese helping him understand that it is a good thing to be 'good'. ↑ |
| Name: Tiggs | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 3:20 PM |
| Hi Jen, thank you for your reply. I will try that out with him and get back to you. As with allergies my son has them bad and is on Cetirizine, is that ok? ↑ |
| Name: JenHartin | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 3:49 PM |
Leann, I did some research: "Side effects were like those of a sugar pill. Some other side effects included being cranky, fussy, and not able to sleep. Other side effects included feeling tired and uncomfortable." That is directly from the drug company of your son's medicine. I thought and thought about what had made Andrew so much worse the last six months - and the only thing I came up with was that the immunologist put him on Claritin. I did the research and found entry after entry stating: "my day care has threaten to remove my child due to disruptive behavior" "my sweet child now cries all the time, hits, and bites" etc. etc. They took their children off the Claritin and they were fine. I took Andrew off about 3 weeks ago - IMMEDIATELY - I saw a change and while he stopped hitting, biting, screaming and crying - he still would say "I want to bite that child" "I want to bite that woman" so many times we were ready to pull our hair out -- since I started the "Not Allowed" totally different child. I spoke to our pediatrician about the Claritin - he said, "oh yeah kids have that reaction all the time - what is so bad about a runny nose"...Other moms have now told me they have had the same problem. Now we have a runny nose and a constant cough - but I'm working on finding a natural remedy for that but it still beats having a hitting, crying, screaming, violent child. I'm not a doctor (I have a medical background) and I would try a couple days without the allergy drug and see what happens. Leann, go to this link and read the entries - many, many about their child having aggressive behavior on your child's medication:
http://www.askapatient.com/vie
wrating.asp?drug=19835&name=ZYRTEC
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| Name: JenHartin | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 3:50 PM |
| Leann, one last thing - just make sure your doctor says it is okay to stop the allergy medicine - I don't want to suggest you do something and harm your child. It worked for me and I know it has worked for other mothers - but I want your child to be safe. ↑ |
| Name: Tiggs | Date: Jun 13th, 2007 5:11 PM |
| Thanks for that, I will go see the doctor before I take him off it as I am not qualified! Rather have a medical opinion before I do anything! ↑ |
| Name: georgina877 | Date: Jun 18th, 2007 11:39 AM |
| Hi our 10yr daughter was diagnosed last Dec (we went privatly). Her Father always said oh i did the same things at her age. Well the Pschologist picked up on our Daughter also having severe Social Anxiety Disorder and informed us that her Dad (my Husband also has Aspergers (Shock Horror) We attended 9 sessions with him and now our Daughter receives one -one Cognitive Theraphy through the Local System. We have spoken many times over the years with the Principal of the Primary School that she attends and he blew us off every time. Until it got to the point where she was Kicked out of Brownies for not-joining- in. Then we decided that we needed to see a professional to find out why she has been doing these unique things that we always took for granted because that was always the way she had dressed,eaten sniffed food and objects,has know social skills what so ever and will tell the person at the Supermarket that they are Fat or ask me Mum why are they a different colour etc etc.We also have a daughter who is 5 and just started the same school as her sister. Our youngest daughter is now the mouth piece for her big sister and her only friend at school. No matter how many times we said No to our 10yr old or told her to go back outside and play with the kids at her own birthday party she just doesn't listen. We have been told that when she does this type of behaviour to just let her go off and do it as she has been over stimulated and needs to take herself away from everybody and everything. We send our daughter to her room for time out but she loves this as then she is in her own space/world and will then usually do quiet things. If she screams we just ignore her until she has calmed down by which time she has found something in her room to play with. Read every book you can find at the library,attend the monthly meetings at through the Autismn Society or phone/email any local group in your area. It is very draining and although we receive NO help through her school as they say she is not showing any signs of aggression and is doing her school work without a problem then she is fine. But come play time or lunch time she takes herself off to the library or gather hundreds of nuts from the tree that is closets to her class room as she is completly lost. She dreeds School Cross Country and any sport activity she has to do. She normally fakes an injury but every Friday Afternoon her class play sport and not matter how many swings she does while playing T Ball she cna never hit the ball or if she is fielding then she is way out on the outskirts looking at the ground or into the air on another planet.. ↑ |
| Name: JenJack | Date: Jun 18th, 2007 1:44 PM |
Hi Georginna 877. I may not be much help. My 3yo son is on the spectrum but he does not have aspergers. What I do know is that many people go through their whole lives w/o even knowing they have Aspergers. I have one friend that has it but he doesn't even know it. I found a website more geared for Asperegers the other night that you may be interested in. WWW.TheGeekSyndrome.com. From what I can gather the people with this are EXTREMELY intelligent and have made wonderful breakthroughs in technology for society. They are not Brownie Troop material but they certainly contribute in a huge way.
Hope this helps!!! ↑ |
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